So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It's taken me until now to wrap my head around it and find the words to describe the horror. It started off simple enough - something that's probably happened to most of you.
Sometime between midnight and 1:30am, our puppy Evie pooped on our rug in the living room. This is the only time she's done this, so it's probably just because we forgot to let her out before we went to bed that night. Now, if you have a detective's mind, you may be wondering how we know the poop occurred between midnight and 1:30am. We were asleep, so how do I know that time frame?
Why, friends, that's because our Roomba runs at 1:30am every night, while we sleep. And it found the poop. And so begins the Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening.
If you have a Roomba, please rid yourself of all distractions and absorb everything I'm about to tell you.
Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop. If the unthinkable does happen, and your Roomba runs over dog poop, stop it immediately and do not let it continue the cleaning cycle. Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting.
It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids' toy boxes. If it's near the floor, it will have poop on it. Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding. Yes, mudding - like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road. But in poop.
Then, when your four-year-old gets up at 3am to crawl into your bed, you'll wonder why he smells like dog poop. And you'll walk into the living room. And you'll wonder why the floor feels slightly gritty. And you'll see a brown-encrusted, vaguely Roomba-shaped thing sitting in the middle of the floor with a glowing green light, like everything's okay. Like it's proud of itself.
It’s time for another #ToddySeason gift spotlight and giveaway!
@barflybymercer’s Japanese Style Jigger .5 oz. & .75 oz. With internal measurement lines, this Japanese Style Jigger is designed for exact pours and maximum flexibility. The elongated shape facilitates smooth and easy pouring. The rolled top edge strengthens and maintains shape. The seamless interior design is easy to clean. 18-8 stainless steel core construction. Available in three finishes silver, copper and gold.
As with all of our holiday contests, you’re in it to win it for someone else. So, tag the person you know who deserves one of these shiny jiggers, and tell us in one sentence why you think they deserve it! We’ll pick our favorite response and the person you tag will receive the prize!
For more info on Barfly’s jiggers and to purchase, see the link in our bio!
Ight so I normally don't post things like this but I wanted to set the story straight about the Lil Pump show in CT. So basically someone in the crowd threw a nipper at @lilpump and he flipped shit, fought a random dude that he thought threw the bottle and then shut down the show early. What actually happened was @gods.goons threw that alcohol nipper, but Lil Pump turned to a different section of the crowd and picked a fight with some random guy. The story was twisted to a water bottle being thrown at him, when it was a PLASTIC alcohol nipper and he beat the shit outta the wrong guy. When it was actually one of the girls from @gods.goons 😂💀
Inspired by the Thai dessert "Mango Sticky Rice", and walking down a Thai street filled with fantastic food and drinks like O-liang and Thai-style grilled coconut; Lamzing's Beers won't disappoint you with their Sticky Mango (Right) and Morning in Monsoon (Left)!