Never thought I’d have to live a day with out you in my life but now you are gone and I still can’t believe it. I don’t know how to live life without you. You were the thing that kept me going. How will I go on knowing I’ll never be able to hold your hand. Knowing when I am breaking down and feeling like I wanna die I will never be able to lay there with the lights off while you hold me. I have been battling depression since I was 16, you were the only person to know all this shit I’ve been through. How I came home after school to find my father on the living room couch pale turning blue. His lifeless body laying there after he took his own life. Then 5 years later when my sister was found dead after Overdosing in a hotel room. The 2 times I was sent to rehab only to relapse a month later both times. The on going struggle I have with popping pills everyday, knowing one of these days will be my last. Knowing I will be found dead like my father and sister and it still doesn’t stop me. Now that you are gone, knowing I will never be able to see you again I know that my time is coming soon. You were the thing that kept me going, kept me following my dreams. Now my dreams are a past time that will remain in the past. Now all I have is photos and videos on my phone. I will watch them everyday till I’m gone Bc I know when I get to hell I’ll never be able to see them again.