We've had a pregnancy scare.
That being said. Ive never wanted children.
Ive always had such an intense hatred of children. Fucking. Hate. Them. No real reason why. But its was so intense. My mans the same way. Not as intense mind you. But he comes from a large family. The oldest of five. Im an only child. But he doesnt want kids either.
But weve had this scare. I took ec just in case. All the tests ive taken came out negative.
So thats good? I mean it is. We dont have the means for our own family right now.
But im depressed and disappointed that they came out negative. Like 40 relieved and 60 disappointed. . I was actually warming up to the idea of starting my own family. Coming around. It made me think of the future. One where im still there. For whatever reason.
It gave me hope. For the first time. In god. I dont even know. To long to remember. But like i said. The tests came back negative. Hes 60 relieved and 40 disappointed. So i mean hes coming around to.. but idk. Im just very sad and disappointed. .
Im not even sure what to really say.. im just sad… we areny gonna try for a family. We will still use bc. Maybe this feeling will go away soon…
Idk if you read this all than thank you and im sorry its so crappy…
Love you all hope you all are as safe as you can be and enjoying whatever it i you do♡
Простите, что такое фото вне формата 🙈 Так я пью кофе, вместе с этой малышкой 😀 и ем тоже. Всегда рядом, всегда попрошайничает. Итак, я выпила ещё кофе, но лучше мне стало совсем чуть-чуть. Итого за день получилось 230 ккал (нда уж, типикал тж). Завтра будет шоко. А после завтра либо опять питьевой, либо шоко. Решила не отходить от плана, ну и плюс денег на овощи/фрукты/творог/хлебцы для мж у меня все равно нет. Да и загоняюсь я теперь как-то есть 🙄 надеюсь ваш день прошёл продуктивно 💗
#selfieupdatefriday with a guest hehe (don't worry my cat is okay i just like to kiss people really hard haha oops 😹) || sooooo... this week was kind of a mess tbh but i keep swimming 🐟 body image has been a real bitch, especially at the end of the week... || i had an exam and two tests and i REALLY feel like such a failure... i think some of you can relate but i used to be one of the top 3 students in my class and now after all this shits and hospital etc...., i feel like i am always messing everything up 😞 i am such a failure... sorry 😪 going to see my grandad this weekend which will be challenging as i have a really rough past with him 😓😓 but i don't want to be the person to mess up family relationships so i decided to go, and my mom will be there so if anything goes bad, i know she will be there to defend me... ahh i'm so greatlful for my family... i just wish my dad was here more often... 😔💛
McDonald's monopoly is back yay 😊 wish Sean could join me (maybe next year you'll be well enough silly🐯) not much to update but I'm just accepting the fact I'll never get a job so I stopped looking lol😂, the other week we went to Liverpool for the day because it was a £16 for the both of us to go and omg the people were so rude, don't think we'll be going there again 😒 other than that it's my birthday next week and I'll be 22 ew I'm so old 👵 and my nose has collapsed so that operation I had was a fail so now I've gotta go through the whole process again by the looks of it🙄 such a positive update haha whatever, I hope you're all ok💕
I have a tutor coming after lunch to help me with math.. I spent an hour last night crying over my math cause it didn't make any sense.. I'm so anxious.. why do people make me anxious.? I'm a mess.. stress makes me want to restrict, but I know that won't actually help.. hope everyone else is doing okay 💕