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// "I'd rather hurt myself than you" I say, with a blade in my hand. Typing "I'm fine" with tears stinging my eyes. I don't want to hurt you. But when you say "I love you" I want to scream "No you don't".. you don't love me, you love the person I tried to be. But I'd rather hurt myself.. I rather starve myself or cut, purge or bruise my legs. Just so you can be happy, cause than I was happy, right?\\ -@angel.of.the.broken
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#anorexia #ana #bulimia #bullied #cut #cutting #depression #depressed #eatingdisorder #ed #emo #fat #ignored #killme #mia #pain #regret #thunderthighs #suicide #suicidal
// "I'd rather hurt myself than you" I say, with a blade in my hand. Typing "I'm fine" with tears stinging my eyes. I don't want to hurt you. But when you say "I love you" I want to scream "No you don't".. you don't love me, you love the person I tried to be. But I'd rather hurt myself.. I rather starve myself or cut, purge or bruise my legs. Just so you can be happy, cause than I was happy, right?\\ -@angel.of.the.broken . #anorexia  #ana  #bulimia  #bullied  #cut  #cutting  #depression  #depressed  #eatingdisorder  #ed  #emo  #fat  #ignored  #killme  #mia  #pain  #regret  #thunderthighs  #suicide  #suicidal 
Snacks packed for a night of babysitting!
Sprouted @uniquepretzels + @babybelus mozzarella cheese wheel + @egglandsbest hard boiled eggs + fresh baby spinach + grape tomatoes + @seapointfarms dry roasted edamame + @v8juice
#snack #babysitting #healthy #food #eggs #edamame #pretzels #cheese #salad #v8 #protein #gains #ed #anorexia #recovery #motivation #edsoldier #prorecovery #health #fitness #fuckana #eat #foodisfuel #fitnotthin #strongnotskinny #balancednotclean #weightrestored
Snacks packed for a night of babysitting! Sprouted @uniquepretzels + @babybelus mozzarella cheese wheel + @egglandsbest hard boiled eggs + fresh baby spinach + grape tomatoes + @seapointfarms dry roasted edamame + @v8juice #snack  #babysitting  #healthy  #food  #eggs  #edamame  #pretzels  #cheese  #salad  #v8  #protein  #gains  #ed  #anorexia  #recovery  #motivation  #edsoldier  #prorecovery  #health  #fitness  #fuckana  #eat  #foodisfuel  #fitnotthin  #strongnotskinny  #balancednotclean  #weightrestored 
🖤Can you hear the silence, can you see the dark.🖤 #thin #skinny #thinspo #bmth #thinspiration #beauty #beautiful #ana #anorexia #anorexic #mia #bulimia #body #bodygoals #goals #quotes #suicide #blacknwhite_perfection
Pretty scary dinner but i got this!
Pretty scary dinner but i got this!
I think something in my body like "caught up" if that makes sense bc I can very seriously eat like 2000+ calories in a day for over a month and not gain a pound. Bc I've been maintaining for ever and I'm not sure why, I'm not complaining bc I'm not gaining anything anymore it seems. When I come back from vegas I'm going to start losing weight again bc there's just too much going on right now to be able to. So that's that lol
I think something in my body like "caught up" if that makes sense bc I can very seriously eat like 2000+ calories in a day for over a month and not gain a pound. Bc I've been maintaining for ever and I'm not sure why, I'm not complaining bc I'm not gaining anything anymore it seems. When I come back from vegas I'm going to start losing weight again bc there's just too much going on right now to be able to. So that's that lol
Working five days in a row! Gonna be hectic but totally worth it! Day two today🎉 was meant to bring an ensure with me cause my shift goes over lunch time and I won't get a break... but I forgot 🤔 guess I'll have to find me something at the shops before work.... if I have time... which I don't think I do cause bus is late 😰
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#anorexiarecovery  #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies  #nourishtoflourish  #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery  #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery  #againstana  #edwontwin  #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #underweight  #foodie #inpatientrecovery #vegetarian
Working five days in a row! Gonna be hectic but totally worth it! Day two today🎉 was meant to bring an ensure with me cause my shift goes over lunch time and I won't get a break... but I forgot 🤔 guess I'll have to find me something at the shops before work.... if I have time... which I don't think I do cause bus is late 😰 . . . . . . . . #anorexiarecovery  #eatittobeatit  #edsoldier  #recoveryispossible  #recoveringaussies  #nourishtoflourish  #nourishnotpunish  #anorexianervosarecovery  #recoveryisworthit  #realrecovery  #againstana  #edwontwin  #strongnotskinny  #edfam  #edcommunity  #mentalhealth  #prorecovery  #anorexia  #edwarrior  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderawareness  #anxiety  #depression  #mentalhealthrecovery  #underweight  #foodie  #inpatientrecovery  #vegetarian 
🖤Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm weak. Maybe I'm blinded by what I see.🖤 #thin #skinny #beauty #beautiful #legday #goals #body #bodygoals #thinspo #thinspiration #bonespo #ana #anorexia #anorexic #mia #bulimia #quotes #suicide
Breakfast today was two pieces of sourdough with nut butter...the same as yesterday! #noskimpingonspread.
Working today...wish me luck!
I hope you all have a lovely day ❤
#anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #ana #ed #edfighter #edsoldier #edrecovery #healthynotskinny #beatana #happiness
Absolutely OBSESSED with my #BeautifullyMe bracelet from @thewarriorcollective! It's a great reminder when I'm beating myself up that I should be happy in the skin I'm in and love myself for who I am, not who others want me to be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 
Shoutout to #NYC, #OneWorldTrade, and my rooftop for providing the amazing backdrop. It's a pretty cool feeling falling in love with yourself all over again ♥️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 
#RecoveryIsDelicious #EDWarrior #EDfighter #anorexia #RecoveryIsPossible #EDrecovery #EDawareness #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #IAmWorthIt #IveGotThis #anxiety #EDfam #RecoverED #motivation #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #loveyourself #newyork
Absolutely OBSESSED with my #BeautifullyMe  bracelet from @thewarriorcollective! It's a great reminder when I'm beating myself up that I should be happy in the skin I'm in and love myself for who I am, not who others want me to be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ Shoutout to #NYC , #OneWorldTrade , and my rooftop for providing the amazing backdrop. It's a pretty cool feeling falling in love with yourself all over again ♥️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ #RecoveryIsDelicious  #EDWarrior  #EDfighter  #anorexia  #RecoveryIsPossible  #EDrecovery  #EDawareness  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #IAmWorthIt  #IveGotThis  #anxiety  #EDfam  #RecoverED  #motivation  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthmatters  #mentalhealthawareness  #loveyourself  #newyork 
Have to admit that I'm one of the few people who like (love) Subway. Not ashamed, tbh 😁.
And I always go for the same thing, hihihi. 
So for lunch-dinner I'm having a delicious turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread (my fav), with sweet mustard dressing (also my fav 😂).
And guysss, massive recovery win here, not because of this (Actually Subway was one of those "comfort foods" at the beginning of my recovery), but because I also ordered a white chocolate raspberry cookie from there 😱 Almost can't believe that I did it. Hopefully I will have it later for dessert/nightsnack. 🍪 🍪 😍
Have to admit that I'm one of the few people who like (love) Subway. Not ashamed, tbh 😁. And I always go for the same thing, hihihi. So for lunch-dinner I'm having a delicious turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread (my fav), with sweet mustard dressing (also my fav 😂). And guysss, massive recovery win here, not because of this (Actually Subway was one of those "comfort foods" at the beginning of my recovery), but because I also ordered a white chocolate raspberry cookie from there 😱 Almost can't believe that I did it. Hopefully I will have it later for dessert/nightsnack. 🍪 🍪 😍
Took a while but I finally decided to get #sushi <3 spicy rolls are me favourite.  Went grocery shopping and it went surprisingly well for once. I'm need I kept thinking a lot about different things but at least today for grocery shopping wasn't as bad. ^•^' #ed#anxiety #depression #ednos #weight #food#eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #anorexic#thin#fat#skinny #weightloss #disorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness
Had one of my freshly baked Snickerdoodles cookies 40 minutes before dinner, which was a sandwich with two pieces of salami and lettuce plus peas, minus about 7 because I gave some to my dog.
I'm going to the comic expo on Sunday with my mum and brother and I'm pretty exciteddddddd. But I'm going to wear baggy clothes because I don't want people judging me for being fat..
I'm going to hopefully finish my book today then start a new book :)
I bought two new books today and I'm so excited to read them
 #recovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #fooddiary #edrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #edfighter #ana #anarecovery #edfamily #edcommunity #recovering #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #orthorexia #nourishnotpunish #healthynotskinny #recoverywin #edfam #anorexianervosa #anawho #anawarrior #anasoldier #anafighter #myrecoverystory #edfighters #edbattle #strongnotskinny
Had one of my freshly baked Snickerdoodles cookies 40 minutes before dinner, which was a sandwich with two pieces of salami and lettuce plus peas, minus about 7 because I gave some to my dog. I'm going to the comic expo on Sunday with my mum and brother and I'm pretty exciteddddddd. But I'm going to wear baggy clothes because I don't want people judging me for being fat.. I'm going to hopefully finish my book today then start a new book :) I bought two new books today and I'm so excited to read them #recovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #fooddiary  #edrecovery  #anorexianervosarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #eatingdisorder  #edfighter  #ana  #anarecovery  #edfamily  #edcommunity  #recovering  #recoveryispossible  #recoveryisworthit  #orthorexia  #nourishnotpunish  #healthynotskinny  #recoverywin  #edfam  #anorexianervosa  #anawho  #anawarrior  #anasoldier  #anafighter  #myrecoverystory  #edfighters  #edbattle  #strongnotskinny 
One month till my birthday. No celebration, I feel huge. I just have this intense need inside me that I just HAVE to lose like half a stone by then. Otherwise I've just failed completely and won't want anyone to see me. I just hate feeling so f**king fat🔪💊🔪💊
One month till my birthday. No celebration, I feel huge. I just have this intense need inside me that I just HAVE to lose like half a stone by then. Otherwise I've just failed completely and won't want anyone to see me. I just hate feeling so f**king fat🔪💊🔪💊
Você é parecida com Jesus, então porque se sente tão feia? Porque não se ama? Porque se cobra tanto? Porque vomita o que come? Nunca esta satisfeita consigo mesma, porque um dia escutou de alguém que você não era bonita. Então, hoje em dia vive se baseando pelas palavras dos outros. Ei pare com isso menina, não faça isso contigo! Deus te fez com exclusividade, Ele moldou você e cada detalhe é do jeitinho que Ele gosta. Ele sofre cada vez que você olha no espelho e chora. Ele quer que você aprenda a se amar para amar alguém e ser feliz. Não é a toa que a Palavra diz amar os outros como a si mesmo, se o amor que você dedica a sua pessoa não for suficiente, você nunca conseguirá amar alguém plenamente. Olhe para você com menos cobrança e mais amor. Ninguém é perfeito, até mesmo aquela blogueira e atriz que você admira tem defeitos. Mas realmente é feliz quem reconhece o seu valor através da palavra de Deus, mesmo gordinha ou magrinha, alta ou baixa aprenda a se amar como o Senhor te ama. 👸 "Eu te louvarei, porque de um modo assombroso, e tão maravilhoso fui feito; maravilhosas são as tuas obras, e a minha alma o sabe muito bem. Salmos 139:14"
Você é parecida com Jesus, então porque se sente tão feia? Porque não se ama? Porque se cobra tanto? Porque vomita o que come? Nunca esta satisfeita consigo mesma, porque um dia escutou de alguém que você não era bonita. Então, hoje em dia vive se baseando pelas palavras dos outros. Ei pare com isso menina, não faça isso contigo! Deus te fez com exclusividade, Ele moldou você e cada detalhe é do jeitinho que Ele gosta. Ele sofre cada vez que você olha no espelho e chora. Ele quer que você aprenda a se amar para amar alguém e ser feliz. Não é a toa que a Palavra diz amar os outros como a si mesmo, se o amor que você dedica a sua pessoa não for suficiente, você nunca conseguirá amar alguém plenamente. Olhe para você com menos cobrança e mais amor. Ninguém é perfeito, até mesmo aquela blogueira e atriz que você admira tem defeitos. Mas realmente é feliz quem reconhece o seu valor através da palavra de Deus, mesmo gordinha ou magrinha, alta ou baixa aprenda a se amar como o Senhor te ama. 👸 "Eu te louvarei, porque de um modo assombroso, e tão maravilhoso fui feito; maravilhosas são as tuas obras, e a minha alma o sabe muito bem. Salmos 139:14"
How was your day?
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Mine was actually good.
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#depression #sad #suicide #suicidal #anxiety #grunge #alone #cutting #ana #emo #love #broken #anorexia #tumblr #selfharmmm #sadness #fat #worthless #lonely #cut #quotes #selfharm #bands #ugly #mia #selfhate #scars #bulimia #dead #pain
Anorexia is my dieting strategy
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#beachbody #anorexia #beach #thicc #hot #bone #skeleton
Good morning ☀️ breakfast was the usual bran flakes and soy milk 🍼 I hope you're all okay ❤️ #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #edfighter #ed #ana #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recovery #breakfast
Spontaneous free snacks today: goldfish (!) and some trail mix with chocolate (!) covered (!) almonds (!!!) (and chocolate covered raisins too, but I prefer almonds to raisins, so the almonds were the highlight for me lol)
Spontaneous free snacks today: goldfish (!) and some trail mix with chocolate (!) covered (!) almonds (!!!) (and chocolate covered raisins too, but I prefer almonds to raisins, so the almonds were the highlight for me lol)
@_cieransheard_ 's story 💜
"I don't remember when it all started, but I remember I wanted to be healthier though I was already skinny and had a low weight naturally but I wanted to be fit. I started eating healthier and started exercising more but somehow it got way out of hand, I don't know how but I couldn't stop the thoughts, always counting calories, always worrying about what I was putting in my body and then how I was going to burn those calories. I was constantly checking my body too see if I was getting skinnier and I lost all control of myself and feelings.
I ended up passing out at school one day because my heart was too weak. I was unconscious and unresponsive and they called an ambulance. I was rushed to the hospital and they had me hooked up too all these machines and kept doing blood work where they had found out my potassium was extremely low and all my electrolytes were out of whack.
I was sent up to pediatrics acutie ward and was there for a week. I was strictly eating 3 meals a day and was on strict bed rest.
After that week they sent me over to adolescent psychiatric unit because I was stable. I was there for a month and a half where I was on constant observation and strict bed rest. Three meals and snacks per day. And it definitely wasn't easy.
Recovery isn't fun but neither is death" 
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story and we wish you strength in your recovery 🌟
@_cieransheard_ 's story 💜 "I don't remember when it all started, but I remember I wanted to be healthier though I was already skinny and had a low weight naturally but I wanted to be fit. I started eating healthier and started exercising more but somehow it got way out of hand, I don't know how but I couldn't stop the thoughts, always counting calories, always worrying about what I was putting in my body and then how I was going to burn those calories. I was constantly checking my body too see if I was getting skinnier and I lost all control of myself and feelings. I ended up passing out at school one day because my heart was too weak. I was unconscious and unresponsive and they called an ambulance. I was rushed to the hospital and they had me hooked up too all these machines and kept doing blood work where they had found out my potassium was extremely low and all my electrolytes were out of whack. I was sent up to pediatrics acutie ward and was there for a week. I was strictly eating 3 meals a day and was on strict bed rest. After that week they sent me over to adolescent psychiatric unit because I was stable. I was there for a month and a half where I was on constant observation and strict bed rest. Three meals and snacks per day. And it definitely wasn't easy. Recovery isn't fun but neither is death" Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story and we wish you strength in your recovery 🌟
Trying to keep #hope in my mind on this morning filled with #anxiety and #dread
Happy Friday!!! 😁 we made it through the week 🙌🏻 and let me just say i'm surprised 😂 this week was sooooo stressful but i'm so happy to get to rest this weekend 🤗 Have a great night everyone! ps this amazing @halotopcreamery was from last week and that was my first time trying this flavour and i'd give it an 8/10 because the flavour was on point i just wish it was more chunky ygm??? 😏  #recovery #edrecovery #health #beated #fighted #recover #eattorecover #icecreamovered #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #fightana #beatana #anarecovery #fight #strongoverskinny #healthylifestyle #vegetarian #meatfree #healthy #beated #recovered
Happy Friday!!! 😁 we made it through the week 🙌🏻 and let me just say i'm surprised 😂 this week was sooooo stressful but i'm so happy to get to rest this weekend 🤗 Have a great night everyone! ps this amazing @halotopcreamery was from last week and that was my first time trying this flavour and i'd give it an 8/10 because the flavour was on point i just wish it was more chunky ygm??? 😏 #recovery  #edrecovery  #health  #beated  #fighted  #recover  #eattorecover  #icecreamovered  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #fightana  #beatana  #anarecovery  #fight  #strongoverskinny  #healthylifestyle  #vegetarian  #meatfree  #healthy  #beated  #recovered 
Had a cinnamon roll Quest bar on work break today and just a little vitamin water.. not even half the bottle😕
#eatingdisorder #ed #anorexia #prorecovery #thinkpositive #edfamily #beated #wecandothis #recover #edfight #eattobeatit #anorexiarecovery #eattogrow #edfighters #nourishnotpunish #eattolive #foodisfuel #fooddiary #eatingdisorderrecovery
don't shed yourself of beauty because you are beautiful in your own way! •
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{#depression #depressed #sad #suicide #suicidal #anxiety #alone #cutting #ana #emo #broken #anorexia #selfharmmm #fat #worthless #lonely #cut #quotes #selfharm  #ugly #recoveryisworthit #selfhate #scars #bulimia #lgbt #pansexual #selfhate #help #yourworthit #bodypositive #selflove}
cat and me 🌵
cat and me 🌵
Today's been pretty good. I got the next part of my stats project done, had a massage (which was great, but also I just felt so disgusting and like she thought I was really fat and unfit and just overall felt gross about myself), got my Amazon package (this fidget cube, my fitbit, and headphones), and now I think we're going out for dinner. Food started out good today. I had breakfast and am snack because I thought I was going to have dinner with a friend, but plans changed and we're having dinner tomorrow instead, so lunch and pm snack didn't end up happening. I'm really excited to see her, but dinner tomorrow is going to be a huge challenge (mostly texturally). #stats #statistics #school #onlineschool #onlineclasses #massage #bodyimage #badbodyimage #amazon #fitbit #fidget #fidgettoy #fidgetcube #fidgets #ed #eatingdisorder #anorexia #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #spd #sensoryprocessingdisorder
Today's been pretty good. I got the next part of my stats project done, had a massage (which was great, but also I just felt so disgusting and like she thought I was really fat and unfit and just overall felt gross about myself), got my Amazon package (this fidget cube, my fitbit, and headphones), and now I think we're going out for dinner. Food started out good today. I had breakfast and am snack because I thought I was going to have dinner with a friend, but plans changed and we're having dinner tomorrow instead, so lunch and pm snack didn't end up happening. I'm really excited to see her, but dinner tomorrow is going to be a huge challenge (mostly texturally). #stats  #statistics  #school  #onlineschool  #onlineclasses  #massage  #bodyimage  #badbodyimage  #amazon  #fitbit  #fidget  #fidgettoy  #fidgetcube  #fidgets  #ed  #eatingdisorder  #anorexia  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #spd  #sensoryprocessingdisorder 
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Credits to owner
Credits to owner
GOOD MORNING SWEETIE 😽My mum bought a lot of fruits from the market yesterday 👻😍💕 Fruits are life 😻 I love eating apple with cinnamon and berries 😻 They taste good and delicious 😼#anxiety #anorexia #eatingdisord #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #abs #ᴏvernightoats #breakfast #oats #chiaseeds #blackcurrant #fruit #grapes #figs #depression #depressed #mentalhealth #metalillness #fruit #apple #snack #kiwi #berries #love #recover
GOOD MORNING SWEETIE 😽My mum bought a lot of fruits from the market yesterday 👻😍💕 Fruits are life 😻 I love eating apple with cinnamon and berries 😻 They taste good and delicious 😼#anxiety  #anorexia  #eatingdisord  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recovery  #abs  #ᴏvernightoats  #breakfast  #oats  #chiaseeds  #blackcurrant  #fruit  #grapes  #figs  #depression  #depressed  #mentalhealth  #metalillness  #fruit  #apple  #snack  #kiwi  #berries  #love  #recover 
you all missed my pasta posts im sure, so i figured i'd swing in with a bowl of premeet shells, grilled chicken, and marinara sauce! tomorrow will be like 90° and i'm running the 2 mile at 9:45 (like 75-80°) and then 7 hours later, the mile leg of the dmr (likeee 90° hahahahaha) so me and my friend started to have a water drinking competition, where i drank 4 bottles of water and went to the bathroom during class 5 times oooops! its all good though because now im nice n hydrated! happy friday, i hope you all had an amazing week!
you all missed my pasta posts im sure, so i figured i'd swing in with a bowl of premeet shells, grilled chicken, and marinara sauce! tomorrow will be like 90° and i'm running the 2 mile at 9:45 (like 75-80°) and then 7 hours later, the mile leg of the dmr (likeee 90° hahahahaha) so me and my friend started to have a water drinking competition, where i drank 4 bottles of water and went to the bathroom during class 5 times oooops! its all good though because now im nice n hydrated! happy friday, i hope you all had an amazing week!
SHIT ATE ALL OF THIS LITERALLY SO STRESSFUL BUT I GUESS I WAS HUNGRY SO?????????
ED IS TERRIFIED OF THAI TAKEOUT BUT LEE LIKES GREEN CURRY IT CLEARS HER SINUSES AND TASTE DELISH 
ITS OKAY THAT I ATE ALL OF THIS FOOD
ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY
SHIT ATE ALL OF THIS LITERALLY SO STRESSFUL BUT I GUESS I WAS HUNGRY SO????????? ED IS TERRIFIED OF THAI TAKEOUT BUT LEE LIKES GREEN CURRY IT CLEARS HER SINUSES AND TASTE DELISH ITS OKAY THAT I ATE ALL OF THIS FOOD ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY
Доброй ночи🌌
День продолжился наихуевейше, как я и предполагала , но спасибо срывов не было😌 ------------
Кстати, не понимаю как сделать, чтобы эти промежутки тирехами не уезжали в ряд
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Я мало что сделала на самом то деле, тупо информатику за 1,5 четверти, англ и кусок русского. На дачу вщ практически не собралась. ----------
Была в дикой истерике , просто пиздец как, довели в общем, у меня итак психика пошатанная чуток. Валерьянку в таблетках, да и в целом,  не нашла, поэтому взяла чай ( тот, что справа) . Не очень лезет, хочется есть, но сейчас заполню желудок чаем и норм ----------
Сейчас допью чай, пойду в душ и ещё полночи буду собираться, хотя уже дичайше хочу спать 
Пост вряд ли ещё будет, ибо сил нет и дел море --------
GN🌌
29.04.17
#ждуотвес #неспорт #непп #похудение #диета #anorexia #anorexìa #ana#mia#анорексия #дневникпитания #food#foodblog #foodblogger
Доброй ночи🌌 День продолжился наихуевейше, как я и предполагала , но спасибо срывов не было😌 ------------ Кстати, не понимаю как сделать, чтобы эти промежутки тирехами не уезжали в ряд --------- Я мало что сделала на самом то деле, тупо информатику за 1,5 четверти, англ и кусок русского. На дачу вщ практически не собралась. ---------- Была в дикой истерике , просто пиздец как, довели в общем, у меня итак психика пошатанная чуток. Валерьянку в таблетках, да и в целом, не нашла, поэтому взяла чай ( тот, что справа) . Не очень лезет, хочется есть, но сейчас заполню желудок чаем и норм ---------- Сейчас допью чай, пойду в душ и ещё полночи буду собираться, хотя уже дичайше хочу спать Пост вряд ли ещё будет, ибо сил нет и дел море -------- GN🌌 29.04.17 #ждуотвес  #неспорт  #непп  #похудение  #диета  #anorexia  #anorexìa  #ana #mia #анорексия  #дневникпитания  #food #foodblog  #foodblogger 
I got this drink from Starbucks (lime + coconut milk refresher), I'm literally shaking, liquid cals are such a fear and I've already eaten way too much today and I'm having the literal worst body image I've ever had😞 when will this end😞 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #anarecovery #healthyrecovery #bulimiarecovery #anawho #beatinged #selflove #recoveryisworthit #edwarrior #edsurvivor #weightgainiscool #edfamily #edwarrior #prorecovery #eattolive #strongnotskinny #fuckana #fuckanorexia #anorexianervosa #nourishtoflourish #recoveryisworthit
I got this drink from Starbucks (lime + coconut milk refresher), I'm literally shaking, liquid cals are such a fear and I've already eaten way too much today and I'm having the literal worst body image I've ever had😞 when will this end😞 #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #eatingdisorder  #edrecovery  #anarecovery  #healthyrecovery  #bulimiarecovery  #anawho  #beatinged  #selflove  #recoveryisworthit  #edwarrior  #edsurvivor  #weightgainiscool  #edfamily  #edwarrior  #prorecovery  #eattolive  #strongnotskinny  #fuckana  #fuckanorexia  #anorexianervosa  #nourishtoflourish  #recoveryisworthit 
#dinner 
SUPER THICK AND CREAMY bean and potato soup with an unpictured glass of 2% milk and a salad with Italian dressing 👏🏻 Happy Friday! My weekend plans are studying for my AP tests next week and I have an ACT Prep class tomorrow morning from 9-12. 📘Have a blessed night! Also, I'm having a @benandjerrys pint tonight! Anyone want to join me on my PINT PARTY? ❤
#dinner  SUPER THICK AND CREAMY bean and potato soup with an unpictured glass of 2% milk and a salad with Italian dressing 👏🏻 Happy Friday! My weekend plans are studying for my AP tests next week and I have an ACT Prep class tomorrow morning from 9-12. 📘Have a blessed night! Also, I'm having a @benandjerrys pint tonight! Anyone want to join me on my PINT PARTY? ❤
Took these after my workout earlier. I actually like them a little. Today's intake is roughly 630 calories. #bodycheck #eatingdisorder #anorexia #needtobethin #wannabeskinny
*TW* 
Lost 5lbs in just a couple of days😳Terrified of having to put them on again. Terrified of everything. And still feeling like shit. But trying to eat nonetheless and trying to fight and talk to my therapist and dietician and doctor🙄
I still look like a zombie and it appears that I looked less ill here in the hospital than rn lol 🙃🙃🏥👨🏽‍⚕️
I feel so lonely and unwanted and scared and sad. I hate depression. I just want to cry😪😭
Sorry I guess I needed to vent a bit. My mind is a mess. I am a mess. Oh god I'm scared.
*TW* Lost 5lbs in just a couple of days😳Terrified of having to put them on again. Terrified of everything. And still feeling like shit. But trying to eat nonetheless and trying to fight and talk to my therapist and dietician and doctor🙄 I still look like a zombie and it appears that I looked less ill here in the hospital than rn lol 🙃🙃🏥👨🏽‍⚕️ I feel so lonely and unwanted and scared and sad. I hate depression. I just want to cry😪😭 Sorry I guess I needed to vent a bit. My mind is a mess. I am a mess. Oh god I'm scared.
RECOVERY AND LIFE UPDATE☺️ : I went back home today for the weekend, nice to see everyone even though my parents are going to a social event on Sunday and I decided to not tag along so I'll be all alone on that day.
We are discussing getting me an apartment in Paris/close Paris area. They will visit some places next week, so excited about it🙈 And I'm looking for lessons to give in Paris this summer as a job because what I was supposed to do won't be compatible with my recovery planning atm (going from my parents house to Paris every 2 days which takes a lot of time and money as I was supposed to work 3 months non stop from 4AM to 2PM and from 8PM 8AM which would ducked up even more my eating habits and everything. Plus I would be dead tired like last year when I really wanna start all fresh and new in September (making new friends, being physically able to study like I want to, getting mentally/emotionally stronger bla-bla-bla)👌🏻 Considering exercising every day since I've now so much free time and starting running so I can run a marathon next summer. Any advice ?? 🙈

ANYWAY SLEEP TIGHT CUTIES😴❣️ #ana #anasoldier #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recovery #realrecovery #weightloss #ed #edfam #edfamily #eatingdisorder #edsoldier #edfighter #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #eatittobeatit #2fab4ana #orthorexia #recoverygirl #spreadrecover #fit #fitness
RECOVERY AND LIFE UPDATE☺️ : I went back home today for the weekend, nice to see everyone even though my parents are going to a social event on Sunday and I decided to not tag along so I'll be all alone on that day. We are discussing getting me an apartment in Paris/close Paris area. They will visit some places next week, so excited about it🙈 And I'm looking for lessons to give in Paris this summer as a job because what I was supposed to do won't be compatible with my recovery planning atm (going from my parents house to Paris every 2 days which takes a lot of time and money as I was supposed to work 3 months non stop from 4AM to 2PM and from 8PM 8AM which would ducked up even more my eating habits and everything. Plus I would be dead tired like last year when I really wanna start all fresh and new in September (making new friends, being physically able to study like I want to, getting mentally/emotionally stronger bla-bla-bla)👌🏻 Considering exercising every day since I've now so much free time and starting running so I can run a marathon next summer. Any advice ?? 🙈 ANYWAY SLEEP TIGHT CUTIES😴❣️ #ana  #anasoldier  #anorexia  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexianervosarecovery  #recovery  #realrecovery  #weightloss  #ed  #edfam  #edfamily  #eatingdisorder  #edsoldier  #edfighter  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatittobeatit  #2fab4ana  #orthorexia  #recoverygirl  #spreadrecover  #fit  #fitness 
Nobody would use me sexually this time. Because I'm fat, ugly and annoying. When I was a child they did because...I probably wasn't ugly. That's the only thing they didn't said to me back then. #tw #triggerwarning #ptsd #trauma  #cocsa #csa #blood #cuts #cutting #scars #depression #depressed #avpd #selfharm #selfhate #ed #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #socialanxiety #anxiety
Happy Saturday everyone 😘 Today's porridge was chocolate and vanilla cinnamon 😋😋 It's so fascinating that Autumn is so beautiful the colours entrancing, yet everything is dying💕 I hope everyone has a wonderful day ❤️❤️
Happy Saturday everyone 😘 Today's porridge was chocolate and vanilla cinnamon 😋😋 It's so fascinating that Autumn is so beautiful the colours entrancing, yet everything is dying💕 I hope everyone has a wonderful day ❤️❤️
🌸daily gratitude, 4.28.2017🌸
anti inflammatory gel. free weed from the best of people. chelsea handler. the super cute cat that's lived in my yard for two years and never let's me touch him but never causes problems. trailer park boys, always. positive people. .
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#daily #grateful #gratitude #blessed #thankful  #dailygratitude #goodlife #goodvibes #goodvibesonly #weed #marijuana #high #highlife #girlsgoneweed #ganjagirls #girlswithtattoos #tattooedgirls #inkedgirls #tattoo #friday #tgif #ed #anorexia #edsoldier #edwarrior #love
🌸daily gratitude, 4.28.2017🌸 anti inflammatory gel. free weed from the best of people. chelsea handler. the super cute cat that's lived in my yard for two years and never let's me touch him but never causes problems. trailer park boys, always. positive people. . . . . . . . . . . . #daily  #grateful  #gratitude  #blessed  #thankful  #dailygratitude  #goodlife  #goodvibes  #goodvibesonly  #weed  #marijuana  #high  #highlife  #girlsgoneweed  #ganjagirls  #girlswithtattoos  #tattooedgirls  #inkedgirls  #tattoo  #friday  #tgif  #ed  #anorexia  #edsoldier  #edwarrior  #love 
I told my therapist that I'm suicidal again, I opened up to her. I was in tears and she was in tears. I felt really bad and scared. She wants to tell my mum that I'm suicidal but I assured her that I won't kill myself. I want to die but I can't disappoint my family. What if my mother or young brother found my body? It will scar them. I can't and I won't. Hopefully... #broken #worthless #exhausted #triggerwarning #ideservethis #bullied #wasteofspace #useless #selfhurt #noonecares #failure #broken #ugly #fat #hatemyself #selfhate #killme #wannadie #hatemylife #suicidal #suicide #selfharm #blood #anorexia #bulimia #bipolar #anxiety #fibromyalgia #mentalillness
I told my therapist that I'm suicidal again, I opened up to her. I was in tears and she was in tears. I felt really bad and scared. She wants to tell my mum that I'm suicidal but I assured her that I won't kill myself. I want to die but I can't disappoint my family. What if my mother or young brother found my body? It will scar them. I can't and I won't. Hopefully... #broken  #worthless  #exhausted  #triggerwarning  #ideservethis  #bullied  #wasteofspace  #useless  #selfhurt  #noonecares  #failure  #broken  #ugly  #fat  #hatemyself  #selfhate  #killme  #wannadie  #hatemylife  #suicidal  #suicide  #selfharm  #blood  #anorexia  #bulimia  #bipolar  #anxiety  #fibromyalgia  #mentalillness 
So today, it's 11pm, and I've not eaten. I am not proud, let me clear that up. 
The last 2 days I ate over 1000kcal, and today I feel, and am really bloated, and not hungry. I know that shouldn't be an excuse, but I seriously can't stomach anything.
I had two cups of decaf tea today, and traded in a McDonald's, (was almost tempted to have a grilled BBQ chicken wrap just so I had SOMETHING, but didn't in the end), for 2 cups of tea and 2 lax. (Only used lax because I've not been toilet in days, and I feel bloated, yucky, and sluggish).
Take this as you will. But that's today.
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You must eat! Even if you're not hungry. Your body needs to work, and is probably just processing the excess calories, and using them to fuel, and repair your body. Bloating is normal, especially with an increase of carbs. And especially when your body has been denied enough calories to work properly for so long. Bloating does not mean fat.
Feeling "bunged up" is also normal in recovery. The digestive system will be much slower to begin with as it's got to try and work normally again, and is "waking up", to process the calories.
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Why is it that I know, and believe the second part, be can't apply it to myself? .
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#anoreixa #adultswitheds #adultswithendos #adultswitheatingdisorders #adultswithanorexia #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #disorderedeating #ed #edrecovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #weightrestoration
So today, it's 11pm, and I've not eaten. I am not proud, let me clear that up. The last 2 days I ate over 1000kcal, and today I feel, and am really bloated, and not hungry. I know that shouldn't be an excuse, but I seriously can't stomach anything. I had two cups of decaf tea today, and traded in a McDonald's, (was almost tempted to have a grilled BBQ chicken wrap just so I had SOMETHING, but didn't in the end), for 2 cups of tea and 2 lax. (Only used lax because I've not been toilet in days, and I feel bloated, yucky, and sluggish). Take this as you will. But that's today. . You must eat! Even if you're not hungry. Your body needs to work, and is probably just processing the excess calories, and using them to fuel, and repair your body. Bloating is normal, especially with an increase of carbs. And especially when your body has been denied enough calories to work properly for so long. Bloating does not mean fat. Feeling "bunged up" is also normal in recovery. The digestive system will be much slower to begin with as it's got to try and work normally again, and is "waking up", to process the calories. . Why is it that I know, and believe the second part, be can't apply it to myself? . . #anoreixa  #adultswitheds  #adultswithendos  #adultswitheatingdisorders  #adultswithanorexia  #ana  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #eatittobeatit  #foodisfuel  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #disorderedeating  #ed  #edrecovery  #ednos  #ednosrecovery  #weightrestoration 
#diner
-6 sunomakis🍱
-6 hosomakis🍱
-2 Nigiris🍙
-soy sauce
-2 coconut chocolate whippet🍫🍪
-Mini m&m🍫
-Orange 🍊
-kashi bar
#eat #edfam #edfighter #ed #anorexie#anorexia #recovery #tca #sushi#sushis#maki#love #lovefood #life #food #foodisfuel #fight
Earlier I said I was scared of having a bad dinner/afternoon but I'm a lot better now, especially after a good plate of bratwurst and fried rice 😋 the recovery journey is difficult in that you have to walk right up to your fears and face them at every snack, every meal, every day, all the time. But not doing this is losing. Not doing this is missing out on a full and healthy life. Which are not options!! 🤗💪❤ I hope everyone is having a good morning, day, or evening, whichever it may be where you are... 🌚🌝 #ed #recovery #food #edrecovery #edrecoveryfamily #progress #ana #fuckana #edwarrior #fighting #meal #snack #healthyfood #healthy #recoveryisworthit #recovering #anorexia #foodie #eatingdisorder #selflove #beautiful #mystory #prorecovery #dinner #sausage #strength
Earlier I said I was scared of having a bad dinner/afternoon but I'm a lot better now, especially after a good plate of bratwurst and fried rice 😋 the recovery journey is difficult in that you have to walk right up to your fears and face them at every snack, every meal, every day, all the time. But not doing this is losing. Not doing this is missing out on a full and healthy life. Which are not options!! 🤗💪❤ I hope everyone is having a good morning, day, or evening, whichever it may be where you are... 🌚🌝 #ed  #recovery  #food  #edrecovery  #edrecoveryfamily  #progress  #ana  #fuckana  #edwarrior  #fighting  #meal  #snack  #healthyfood  #healthy  #recoveryisworthit  #recovering  #anorexia  #foodie  #eatingdisorder  #selflove  #beautiful  #mystory  #prorecovery  #dinner  #sausage  #strength 
#lunch
-orzo, persley, tomato, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and chickpeas salad
-2 mozzarella cheese🥗
-1 kashi bar🍫
-unpicturated sweet and salty almond bar
-2 vanilla coconut cookies🍪
-Apple grapes juice 🍎🍇
-gummies🍬
-banana🍌
#ed #edfam #edfighter #anorexia #anorexie #recovery #love #life #lovefood #tca #eat #eating
Old pic but this is still basically my everyday lunch (I've been adding clementines lately too bc I'm in love with them all of a sudden). I've been sick since Saturday and it's progressively gotten worse every day and now I'm dying. Im not really getting any sleep now and I'm scared to get my psych to give me stronger sleeping meds bc it makes me reallly hungry in the mornings. I've gotta go to the doctor Monday to get some shots and I'm scared they'll weigh me. I went to my psychiatrist on Wednesday and I guess I looked different??? I started thinking all these bad thoughts and that I gained so much my doctor could tell and she tried to weigh me (WITH MY MOM IN THE ROOM!!!) and I refused and it was a mess and now I don't wanna go anymore bc I thought this psychiatrist would be different since my old one weighed me regularly and I thought we were past this but I guess not 😭. I hate this sooo much. I've lost a bit but I'm so scared bc I feel so much bigger and I miss some of my friends and want to hang out with them but I'm scared that they'll think I look huge if they see me... #anarecovery#recovery#anorexia#eatingdisorders#edrecovery#positivity#edwarrior#depression#bulimia#bulimiarecovery
Old pic but this is still basically my everyday lunch (I've been adding clementines lately too bc I'm in love with them all of a sudden). I've been sick since Saturday and it's progressively gotten worse every day and now I'm dying. Im not really getting any sleep now and I'm scared to get my psych to give me stronger sleeping meds bc it makes me reallly hungry in the mornings. I've gotta go to the doctor Monday to get some shots and I'm scared they'll weigh me. I went to my psychiatrist on Wednesday and I guess I looked different??? I started thinking all these bad thoughts and that I gained so much my doctor could tell and she tried to weigh me (WITH MY MOM IN THE ROOM!!!) and I refused and it was a mess and now I don't wanna go anymore bc I thought this psychiatrist would be different since my old one weighed me regularly and I thought we were past this but I guess not 😭. I hate this sooo much. I've lost a bit but I'm so scared bc I feel so much bigger and I miss some of my friends and want to hang out with them but I'm scared that they'll think I look huge if they see me... #anarecovery #recovery #anorexia #eatingdisorders #edrecovery #positivity #edwarrior #depression #bulimia #bulimiarecovery 
Feel so hurt...someone turns to someone i know and calls her gorgeous and then calls me ugly. 😔 I've been raised with that girl ngl. People usually call us sister or twins and it just hurts...
Feel so hurt...someone turns to someone i know and calls her gorgeous and then calls me ugly. 😔 I've been raised with that girl ngl. People usually call us sister or twins and it just hurts...
🖤Bandages and Long sleeves, Silver pens filled with Red ink.🖤 #thin #thinspo #thinspiration #skinny #legday #beautiful #beauty #body #goals #bodygoals #bonespo #blacknwhite_perfection #mia #bulimia #ana #anorexic #anorexia #poetry #suicide
Chicken Caesar salad 🥗❤️ My mom wants to get ice cream, I'm scared 😬 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recovery #recoveryisworthit #ed #edfam #edwarrior #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery