I'm not very good at taking portraits. The kind which requires me to proactively direct people and influence their overall disposition to change to something positive. I find I'm the passive and observant type who waits for that candid moment to unfold infront of me. It takes a lot of patience and to an extent some sort of careful stalking to be able to correctly anticipate when to "click". The drawback is that I become very selective and my bias towards a certain person becomes easily identifiable, haha!
Scary but yes I do get easily fixated and in some ways attracted to people. Especially those who don't care if a camera is pointed at them. Some people get conscious which makes me feel very uncomfortable. It takes a lot of time and effort for me. Usually I need a certain level of connection. A mutual understanding. Or maybe just plain luck that I feel instantly comfortable around that person. I have this project I want to do but it's been stuck in my head because either I don't have the time to do it or when the opportunity presents itself I just can't get myself to do it. It's complicated and it's definitely a work in progress 😊
"Pinocchio went out into the world. He went on his road filled with good intentions, with a vision. He went ready to do all the things he dreamed, but he was pulled this way and that. He was distracted. He faltered. He made mistakes. But he kept on. Pinocchio, in the end, became himself — because the little flame inside him, no matter what crap he went through, would not be extinguished. We are all Pinocchio. And do you know what I found after several decades of life? We are Pinocchio over and over again — we achieve our goal, we become a level of ourselves, and then we want to go further. And we make new mistakes, and we have new hardships, but we prevail. We are human. We are alive." - Patti Smith