Hello. Here is a fox I drew during church today, I forgot to bring paper with me, so I stole like, four of these from the pastor's office... because I'm the best Christian ever! 😂😅
I ended up giving this to my sister because it was also her birthday today. I obviously didn't plan this, because it's on crappy paper.
I'm sorry I haven't been very active lately. I got burnt out with Instagram (I should have taken a hiatus, but I didn't because I'm going to be taking one in September anyway), and then, in the wake of that, I fell into a bout of depression for about three weeks. It was the worst I had been images, I was burnt out with my job and my inner monologue ran around my head in a ribbon of something to the effect of "I'm a piece of crap," "I let everyone down," and "I'm a burden." My self esteem was at an all time low because of that.
I'm not saying this to get pity, I hate that more than most things. I don't need comfort. I just like to be open about my depression, even if I can only talk about it so blatantly on the internet. I think mental illness should be less taboo. Although I do understand the annoyance one can have when you hear people talking about their depression. I sometimes get annoyed when people I don't know very well start telling me all about their depression, I just have to be patient, because I know that some people are just more open about it than others.
In any case, I've been feeling better the past four or so days. I get bouts of depression a few times a year that last a couple of weeks at most, only this time, it was a little longer than usual. I don't understand why my illness is patchy like this, but it's better than being depressed all the time, I've been there, during high school, and it's not fun... eventually you become numb to it though, when it's constant like that, so that's helpful, I guess.
I get a few mild bouts that last maybe a week here and there or just an evening, but those are so light that I don't really count them as depression. I make my depression sound worse than it is, because I'm really fine the majority of the year. I typically look on the bright side of things, It's just been difficult lately. 😅
Birthdays are not about me. They are about those who surround and love me. On the day of my birth, I'm 100% my parents and older brother had already loved me. Even before they knew who I was or what I would become. As the years have come and gone, I've realized I have less people to celebrate with. So I'm grateful for those who get to spend my birthday with me. Those who come into my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. 💜 I love treating my loved ones, because without them I'd be nothing. #paintandsobersip#daisies
It's important that we share our experiences with other people. Not only will your story heal you, but your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give others permission to acknowledge their own story 💐
“I’m praying in a hallway and you’re there, or you should be, because we’ve only ever been able to love each other in the space between rooms. eternally under the impression that if we save our affection for the doorway and the stairwell it’ll hurt less when one of us decides to leave. and nobody’s ever told us otherwise, so we keep doing it. creatures of habit. creatures of uncertainty. baby, I’m on my knees talking to god about the stains on the carpet because that’s so much easier than asking about why you haven’t touched me in three weeks or why you went to new york smelling like my perfume and came back in someone else’s clothes. this smudge here looks like it was wine at some point. that spot near the corner is shaped like oregon. there are so many red lights between our beds that have seen my tear-streaked face reflecting in their 2am glow, but at least you aren’t the only thing I’ve had to wait for in this life. here I go again, making this about me. making this about the hair littering the sink and the writing on the walls when the question is just who will be the first person to tell me to go home, and whether or not I’ll listen to them. I won’t. you know that by now, don’t you? you must. because I’m praying in a hallway and you left before the amen. and you swallowed up my house key. and you’re sitting at the dining table and every plate is empty. and every seat is empty. and everything, everything, everything. everything is empty.”
• a sign of the times // by Caitlin Conlon