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Six and a half months in, and these conversations happen on about an every other day basis.
Honestly, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this kid. He’s one of my absolute best friends. He’s been with me through puberty, the lowest points in my depression, and the happiest moments in my life, like when I geek out over poetry or feel hot as fuck and send him selfies.
Friends who support your recovery are so! Important!
They can speak to you rationally when you can’t think that way. They can pull out that bit of fight that you didn’t think you had.
You do have to recover for yourself alone, but it helps to know that Jack can definitely tell a difference in me when since beginning recovery. I am much more myself when I’m not in the clutches of my ED, and knowing that this obviously makes friendship better helps me when I’m struggling.
I value friendship. I value it a lot! I’m recovering for me, but I’m also recovering to be authentic in my relationships. Jack is my friend because he likes ME, and I am not me when I’m being controlled by my ed.
I don’t think I’m gonna tag him because he’s not rlly in the bopo community, but seriously, I can’t tell you how thankful I am for this kid. He’s going to do great things.
Six and a half months in, and these conversations happen on about an every other day basis. Honestly, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this kid. He’s one of my absolute best friends. He’s been with me through puberty, the lowest points in my depression, and the happiest moments in my life, like when I geek out over poetry or feel hot as fuck and send him selfies. Friends who support your recovery are so! Important! They can speak to you rationally when you can’t think that way. They can pull out that bit of fight that you didn’t think you had. You do have to recover for yourself alone, but it helps to know that Jack can definitely tell a difference in me when since beginning recovery. I am much more myself when I’m not in the clutches of my ED, and knowing that this obviously makes friendship better helps me when I’m struggling. I value friendship. I value it a lot! I’m recovering for me, but I’m also recovering to be authentic in my relationships. Jack is my friend because he likes ME, and I am not me when I’m being controlled by my ed. I don’t think I’m gonna tag him because he’s not rlly in the bopo community, but seriously, I can’t tell you how thankful I am for this kid. He’s going to do great things.
I'm back at PHP! My first dinner back on my own was a frozen meal. It was challenging not having the support for dinner like I had at residential. My urges are all really high because I have access to everything now, but I know I can't go down that road again.
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#bulimia #bulimiarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #orthorexia #orthorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #edcommunity #edfamily #eatingdisorders #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #recovery #php
I'm back at PHP! My first dinner back on my own was a frozen meal. It was challenging not having the support for dinner like I had at residential. My urges are all really high because I have access to everything now, but I know I can't go down that road again. . . . #bulimia  #bulimiarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #orthorexia  #orthorexiarecovery  #edrecovery  #edwarrior  #edcommunity  #edfamily  #eatingdisorders  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #recovery  #php 
Dinner is cup o noodles.  Head is screaming at me since this is “unhealthy” I’m so sick of feeling so guilty after eating .
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#anorexiarecovery #anorexia #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #bodydysmorphia #ihatemyself #relapse #fdoe #struggles #edfamily #edwarriors
First time trying this brand so wasn’t sure what to expect.. The peanut butter taste is very strong but the jelly is still there! It’s also a super thick bar and seemed to keep me satisfied for longer than some other bars I’ve had. It was kind of harder than I would’ve liked, but I think that was just because I’ve had it for awhile and am just getting around to trying it now😳Overall I enjoyed it🙂
#eatingdisorder #ed #anorexia #prorecovery #thinkpositive #edfamily #beated #wecandothis #recover #edfight #eattobeatit #anorexiarecovery #eattogrow #edfighters #nourishnotpunish #eattolive #foodisfuel #fooddiary #eatingdisorderrecovery
First time trying this brand so wasn’t sure what to expect.. The peanut butter taste is very strong but the jelly is still there! It’s also a super thick bar and seemed to keep me satisfied for longer than some other bars I’ve had. It was kind of harder than I would’ve liked, but I think that was just because I’ve had it for awhile and am just getting around to trying it now😳Overall I enjoyed it🙂 #eatingdisorder  #ed  #anorexia  #prorecovery  #thinkpositive  #edfamily  #beated  #wecandothis  #recover  #edfight  #eattobeatit  #anorexiarecovery  #eattogrow  #edfighters  #nourishnotpunish  #eattolive  #foodisfuel  #fooddiary  #eatingdisorderrecovery 
Rolled oats with some berries for lunch today 🍓
Rolled oats with some berries for lunch today 🍓
Hello lovelies 🍉
I didn't eat much today due to feeling quite ill, but I was able to keep down my pizza from this morning. 🍕
I drank a lot of water and gingerale to try and flush out whatever is in my system that's making me feel so ill 🌊
Overall I had a good day, I mostly slept and watched movies but I didn't feel suicidal nor depressed ☀️
I just finished reading a few chapters of my book, and I'm actually really proud of myself for sitting down and pushing myself to read (I've lacked motivation to do so) 📚
Hope you all are doing wonderful! 🌸
#edfamily #edwarrior #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #depression #anxiety #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #imokay #doingbetter #mentalhealth
Hello lovelies 🍉 I didn't eat much today due to feeling quite ill, but I was able to keep down my pizza from this morning. 🍕 I drank a lot of water and gingerale to try and flush out whatever is in my system that's making me feel so ill 🌊 Overall I had a good day, I mostly slept and watched movies but I didn't feel suicidal nor depressed ☀️ I just finished reading a few chapters of my book, and I'm actually really proud of myself for sitting down and pushing myself to read (I've lacked motivation to do so) 📚 Hope you all are doing wonderful! 🌸 #edfamily  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #anarecovery  #anorexia  #depression  #anxiety  #bpd  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #imokay  #doingbetter  #mentalhealth 
Night snack today was this huge plate of fruit😂🍎🍊🍌🍇 plus real peanut🥜butter and almond butter!!! The next few pics are some of my snacks from today!!😌 Now I’m just relaxing with my fruit and watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine! I hope you’ve all had amazing days. I believe in all of you❤️❤️❤️ #Ana #anorexia #anorexic #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #ed #edfamily #edfighter #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecoverywarrior #eatingdisorderecoverywarrior #disorderedeating #recovery #recoverywarrior #vegan
Night snack today was this huge plate of fruit😂🍎🍊🍌🍇 plus real peanut🥜butter and almond butter!!! The next few pics are some of my snacks from today!!😌 Now I’m just relaxing with my fruit and watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine! I hope you’ve all had amazing days. I believe in all of you❤️❤️❤️ #Ana  #anorexia  #anorexic  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #ed  #edfamily  #edfighter  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edrecoverywarrior  #eatingdisorderecoverywarrior  #disorderedeating  #recovery  #recoverywarrior  #vegan 
Dinner 😊 
I've been getting a shit ton of scam calls lately 😡 I'm so annoyed guys, has anyone experience something similar? #edfamily #edrecovery #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #prorecovery #food #foodgram #fooddiary #foodstagram #foodblogger #healthyfood #healthy
night snack: blueberries and an almond milk latte (decaf). PTW: almost didn’t eat my night snack. i cried a lot and i’m having so much anxiety about increasing today. i talked to my therapist and made an earlier appointment with her and then i talked with my parents and they reminded me about all the things motivating me to maintain. so i decided to eat my snack. i do NOT want to have to drink ensures next week and i do NOT want to mess up my blood sugar even more and i do NOT want to end up hospitalized and i do NOT and WILL NOT give in to this disorder 💕
night snack: blueberries and an almond milk latte (decaf). PTW: almost didn’t eat my night snack. i cried a lot and i’m having so much anxiety about increasing today. i talked to my therapist and made an earlier appointment with her and then i talked with my parents and they reminded me about all the things motivating me to maintain. so i decided to eat my snack. i do NOT want to have to drink ensures next week and i do NOT want to mess up my blood sugar even more and i do NOT want to end up hospitalized and i do NOT and WILL NOT give in to this disorder 💕
I know I JUST posted lol but here is another one for you all😘 I have to give a HUGE shout out to @recovering.petra (You are honestly a total sweetheart!💕✨) for the fact that I am eating anything at all today, and saying screw you to any and all ED thoughts! (TW: I planned to have nothing today, but that is no way to live!❌ You NEED to fuel your body! You literally cannot function without that so why is that even something I would consider doing?!) ✨ So here is a rice cake with Nutella😍 A yummy banana 🍌 a Cliff Bar (filled with PB😍) and some lemonade Vitamin water because screw you ana!💁🏻 I am winning today, not you! #sorrynotsorry It may not be a full days worth of nutrition that I should have had...I know that...but I still have to count this as a win✔️
I know I JUST posted lol but here is another one for you all😘 I have to give a HUGE shout out to @recovering.petra (You are honestly a total sweetheart!💕✨) for the fact that I am eating anything at all today, and saying screw you to any and all ED thoughts! (TW: I planned to have nothing today, but that is no way to live!❌ You NEED to fuel your body! You literally cannot function without that so why is that even something I would consider doing?!) ✨ So here is a rice cake with Nutella😍 A yummy banana 🍌 a Cliff Bar (filled with PB😍) and some lemonade Vitamin water because screw you ana!💁🏻 I am winning today, not you! #sorrynotsorry  It may not be a full days worth of nutrition that I should have had...I know that...but I still have to count this as a win✔️
Appreciating my family today - being taken to see the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra 🎻 play Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone AND Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets #doublefeature. This is not something my family does often at all. It’s a very indulgent activity and usually deemed too expensive or a waste of money. And it couldn’t have come on a better day - I had an atrociously traumatising nightmare last night and so this really is the best distraction. And it will stop me eating our entire kitchen. Peace out ✌🏻 muggles. .
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#inspiration #motivation #anorexia #ptsd #anxiety #depression #recoveringaussies #edwarrior #edfamily #edsoldier 
#recovery #2fab4ana #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #bodyimage #bodypositivity #foodie #recoveryispossible #strongnotskinny #strength #positivity #agoraphobia #brave #mentalillness
Appreciating my family today - being taken to see the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra 🎻 play Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone AND Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets #doublefeature . This is not something my family does often at all. It’s a very indulgent activity and usually deemed too expensive or a waste of money. And it couldn’t have come on a better day - I had an atrociously traumatising nightmare last night and so this really is the best distraction. And it will stop me eating our entire kitchen. Peace out ✌🏻 muggles. . . . . #inspiration  #motivation  #anorexia  #ptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #recoveringaussies  #edwarrior  #edfamily  #edsoldier  #recovery  #2fab4ana  #foodisfuel  #realrecovery  #prorecovery  #bodyimage  #bodypositivity  #foodie  #recoveryispossible  #strongnotskinny  #strength  #positivity  #agoraphobia  #brave  #mentalillness 
Dinner by mom ended up being Trader Joe’s shrimp stir fry (shrimp, broccoli, peppers, water chestnuts, seasoning). Mom added more shrimp to meet my meal plan and cooked it in olive oil. Also had a cup of minute made brown rice... this was really hard with the rice, and no where near hungry. I am so fucking full and feel icky.. #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #anorexiarecovery #ed #anorexianervosa #edfamily #dinner #friday #anxiety #waytofull #scaredashell #hopless #fearfood #grainsarescary #bloated #feelingreallyfat #fridaynight
Dinner by mom ended up being Trader Joe’s shrimp stir fry (shrimp, broccoli, peppers, water chestnuts, seasoning). Mom added more shrimp to meet my meal plan and cooked it in olive oil. Also had a cup of minute made brown rice... this was really hard with the rice, and no where near hungry. I am so fucking full and feel icky.. #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexia  #eatingdisorder  #anorexiarecovery  #ed  #anorexianervosa  #edfamily  #dinner  #friday  #anxiety  #waytofull  #scaredashell  #hopless  #fearfood  #grainsarescary  #bloated  #feelingreallyfat  #fridaynight 
Déjà vu? Was the only pharmacy tech working today from 9-5 so I had some more snappea crisps really quick on break😕
#eatingdisorder #ed #anorexia #prorecovery #thinkpositive #edfamily #beated #wecandothis #recover #edfight #eattobeatit #anorexiarecovery #eattogrow #edfighters #nourishnotpunish #eattolive #foodisfuel #fooddiary #eatingdisorderrecovery
I’m sick 😞 so finishing the day with a cup of green tea and honey. Strangely even though I feel physically garbage-y, I felt really good about myself today. I met with my dietician and it was helpful. She showed me how to track proteins and fats in combined recipes (like a soup) which is something I was struggling to gauge and it’s held me back from doing much cooking recently since I’ve only been focused on getting my nutrients from whole food sources.
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It also helped put my mind at ease about how much I’ve been eating and the amount that’s right for me in a day. I was anxious about eating too much using the guidelines I was set and she basically said I just need to aim for certain overall macronutrient goals rather than stressing over whether I was hitting everything on the list.
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A good day for mental health ⭐️ (just a crappy day for physical health 🙃)
I’m sick 😞 so finishing the day with a cup of green tea and honey. Strangely even though I feel physically garbage-y, I felt really good about myself today. I met with my dietician and it was helpful. She showed me how to track proteins and fats in combined recipes (like a soup) which is something I was struggling to gauge and it’s held me back from doing much cooking recently since I’ve only been focused on getting my nutrients from whole food sources. . It also helped put my mind at ease about how much I’ve been eating and the amount that’s right for me in a day. I was anxious about eating too much using the guidelines I was set and she basically said I just need to aim for certain overall macronutrient goals rather than stressing over whether I was hitting everything on the list. . A good day for mental health ⭐️ (just a crappy day for physical health 🙃)
Morning tea represents an increase in amount and variety! Corn thins with chilli cashew nut cheese spread with tomato and a raspberry lemonade kombucha that was totally unplanned!
Morning tea represents an increase in amount and variety! Corn thins with chilli cashew nut cheese spread with tomato and a raspberry lemonade kombucha that was totally unplanned!
Tonights been so scary and anxiety provoking.
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So the talk on mental health, me & a friend said wed get involved woth a third friend. Plan was me & becky would guve Jas our powerpoints & she would presenr but she wasnt there. Becky presented hers and it was pure death by powerpoint.
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I was too anxious to my partner pressntes mine (it was on EDs) & they enjoyed it & went better than I was expecting. A lot of jokes were made which i like, id rather hear people laugh & joke about it, also put a mick take song on at the end. .
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If your as twisted & enjoy a joke as about EDs as much as I do listen to Amature Transplants - Feed the girls.
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We went to McDonalds after as usual & i didnt want anyone to know about my ED after the talk I was very cautious so I made myself have a mcfurry, fries & cheese bites while the others had McFlurries & large meals.
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#anorexia #AnorexiaNervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #fearfood #fearfoodchallenge #followerchallenge #food #challenge #mentalillness #recovery #outpatient #fooddiary  #outpatinetrecovery #edrecovery  #MentalhealthRecovery #MentalIllnessRecovery #edwarrior #edfamily #eatingdisorderwarrior #eatingdisorderfamily #anorexiawarrior #food #foodie #foodblog #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #fuckana
Tonights been so scary and anxiety provoking. . . So the talk on mental health, me & a friend said wed get involved woth a third friend. Plan was me & becky would guve Jas our powerpoints & she would presenr but she wasnt there. Becky presented hers and it was pure death by powerpoint. . . I was too anxious to my partner pressntes mine (it was on EDs) & they enjoyed it & went better than I was expecting. A lot of jokes were made which i like, id rather hear people laugh & joke about it, also put a mick take song on at the end. . . If your as twisted & enjoy a joke as about EDs as much as I do listen to Amature Transplants - Feed the girls. . . We went to McDonalds after as usual & i didnt want anyone to know about my ED after the talk I was very cautious so I made myself have a mcfurry, fries & cheese bites while the others had McFlurries & large meals. . . #anorexia  #AnorexiaNervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexianervosarecovery   #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #fearfood  #fearfoodchallenge  #followerchallenge  #food  #challenge  #mentalillness  #recovery  #outpatient  #fooddiary   #outpatinetrecovery  #edrecovery   #MentalhealthRecovery  #MentalIllnessRecovery  #edwarrior  #edfamily  #eatingdisorderwarrior  #eatingdisorderfamily  #anorexiawarrior  #food  #foodie  #foodblog  #eatittobeatit  #foodisfuel  #fuckana 
Watching your mama workout is EXHAUSTING 🐶😂
Watching your mama workout is EXHAUSTING 🐶😂
FDOE: breakfast was a glass of soymilk and oatmeal with raisins, brown sugar, and peanut butter 🥜 lunch was a roll, raisins, almonds, dry roasted edamame, and three clementines 🍊 dinner was some lentil soup (not all of it) and ritz crackers (more than pictured) 🥣 night snack was black cherry italian ice and two brown sugar cinnamon poptarts(!!)
I’m starting to get sick which absolutely sucks because I have a music thing all day tomorrow (and I had it half of today) and then sunday I have 4.5 hours of various rehearsals and honestly I just don’t have time to be sick!! I just feel so awful 😕
{#ana #anawho #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #beated #beatana #fuckana #ed #edfam #ednos #edbattle #edfamily #edsoldier #edwarrior #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recover #recovery #recovering #prorecovery #vegan #vegansofig #veganrecovery #veganfoodshare #whatveganseat}
FDOE: breakfast was a glass of soymilk and oatmeal with raisins, brown sugar, and peanut butter 🥜 lunch was a roll, raisins, almonds, dry roasted edamame, and three clementines 🍊 dinner was some lentil soup (not all of it) and ritz crackers (more than pictured) 🥣 night snack was black cherry italian ice and two brown sugar cinnamon poptarts(!!) I’m starting to get sick which absolutely sucks because I have a music thing all day tomorrow (and I had it half of today) and then sunday I have 4.5 hours of various rehearsals and honestly I just don’t have time to be sick!! I just feel so awful 😕 {#ana  #anawho  #anorexia  #anarecovery  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #beated  #beatana  #fuckana  #ed  #edfam  #ednos  #edbattle  #edfamily  #edsoldier  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recover  #recovery  #recovering  #prorecovery  #vegan  #vegansofig  #veganrecovery  #veganfoodshare  #whatveganseat }
Hey guys sorry I didn't post at all today I was just in a rush all day. I had classes and then had to pack and drive home from college and now I'm on my way to Florida! I had a talk with my mom and step dad when I got home and they both agree that I am for sure taking next semester off of school. It makes me sad because I love school but I also know I need to start loving myself. I can't thank you all enough for the support you give me and for calling me out on my 💩  I have a super long ride so hit me up of ya want #edfamily #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edrecovery #edawareness #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexic #anorexiaawareness #anawarrior #edwarrior #anawho #anarecovery #anaawareness #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #recoveryispossible #eatittobeatit #healthynotskinny #healthynothungry #strongnotskinny #fuckana #countblessingnotcalories #2fab4ana #not1in5 #healthyisthenewskinny
Hey guys sorry I didn't post at all today I was just in a rush all day. I had classes and then had to pack and drive home from college and now I'm on my way to Florida! I had a talk with my mom and step dad when I got home and they both agree that I am for sure taking next semester off of school. It makes me sad because I love school but I also know I need to start loving myself. I can't thank you all enough for the support you give me and for calling me out on my 💩 I have a super long ride so hit me up of ya want #edfamily  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edrecovery  #edawareness  #ana  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexic  #anorexiaawareness  #anawarrior  #edwarrior  #anawho  #anarecovery  #anaawareness  #recoveryisworthit  #recoverywin  #recoveryispossible  #eatittobeatit  #healthynotskinny  #healthynothungry  #strongnotskinny  #fuckana  #countblessingnotcalories  #2fab4ana  #not1in5  #healthyisthenewskinny 
If this isn’t everyones #goals outfit and the best #ootd ever, then idk how to help you with that realization🙈💁🏻 Fuzzy sweater, fuzzy pants, fuzzy socks, and a winter hat. Thats the dream!😘 -
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I have had a hard day today (both ED and non-ED related😒) but! That just gave me more reason to practice some self-care techniques✨ Fuzzy things are life so thats 1😏 2 I spent some time in front of the christmas tree and fire place, as it makes me feel more relaxed. And 3, I did some coloring🎨 (on my phone because my books are at the boyfriends house, oops). Not all days are going to be positive, and you **cannot always control everything** (and that is okay!), but you can for sure control how you react to those events! And that is what I am trying to do today💪🏻✨ It is soo friggen hard! And I may have to just have a rough night and try again to spin it around tomorrow, but I will get there, just have to keep that in mind💕 Stay strong lovelies😘 Keep your smile🙃 #positivity #selflove #bodypositive
If this isn’t everyones #goals  outfit and the best #ootd  ever, then idk how to help you with that realization🙈💁🏻 Fuzzy sweater, fuzzy pants, fuzzy socks, and a winter hat. Thats the dream!😘 - - - I have had a hard day today (both ED and non-ED related😒) but! That just gave me more reason to practice some self-care techniques✨ Fuzzy things are life so thats 1😏 2 I spent some time in front of the christmas tree and fire place, as it makes me feel more relaxed. And 3, I did some coloring🎨 (on my phone because my books are at the boyfriends house, oops). Not all days are going to be positive, and you **cannot always control everything** (and that is okay!), but you can for sure control how you react to those events! And that is what I am trying to do today💪🏻✨ It is soo friggen hard! And I may have to just have a rough night and try again to spin it around tomorrow, but I will get there, just have to keep that in mind💕 Stay strong lovelies😘 Keep your smile🙃 #positivity  #selflove  #bodypositive 
Dinner was a beige fat-mash to meet my targets today. 2 potato 🥔 skins filled with cheese 🧀 and onion, plus a mix of quorn bbq strips, chickpeas and veggie sausage cooked in lots of rapeseed oil 🛢 and some onions, plus unpictured mayo!
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So todays stats are: 43.7g protein (12%), 95.5g total carbs - not net, no idea how to work that out (26%) and 100.6g fat (62%) totalling 1560 cals.
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I mean the good thing is that I haven't gained any weight...but I think thats because I'm still purging. I'm just too scared to trial it without just yet...but I haven't lost any either and feel pretty bloated. This is my first week of high fat low carb so if anyone has any tips it'd be much appreciated. I know it's not a true keto diet but I've cut carbs by 50% and increased fat by 50% currently to dip my toe.
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#emmyeats #eatittobeatit #eattobeat #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #vegetarian #eatforbooty #eatforboobies #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #purginganorexia #mentalhealth #adultswithed #realrecovery #foodisfuel #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #edfighter #edsoldier #edfamily #fuckana #edarmy #edwarrior #edsoldier #edcommunity #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #recovery #gaininglife #progressnotperfection
Dinner was a beige fat-mash to meet my targets today. 2 potato 🥔 skins filled with cheese 🧀 and onion, plus a mix of quorn bbq strips, chickpeas and veggie sausage cooked in lots of rapeseed oil 🛢 and some onions, plus unpictured mayo! * So todays stats are: 43.7g protein (12%), 95.5g total carbs - not net, no idea how to work that out (26%) and 100.6g fat (62%) totalling 1560 cals. * I mean the good thing is that I haven't gained any weight...but I think thats because I'm still purging. I'm just too scared to trial it without just yet...but I haven't lost any either and feel pretty bloated. This is my first week of high fat low carb so if anyone has any tips it'd be much appreciated. I know it's not a true keto diet but I've cut carbs by 50% and increased fat by 50% currently to dip my toe. * #emmyeats  #eatittobeatit  #eattobeat  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #vegetarian  #eatforbooty  #eatforboobies  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #purginganorexia  #mentalhealth  #adultswithed  #realrecovery  #foodisfuel  #recoveryispossible  #recoveryisworthit  #edfighter  #edsoldier  #edfamily  #fuckana  #edarmy  #edwarrior  #edsoldier  #edcommunity  #nourishtoflourish  #nourishnotpunish  #foodisfuel  #recovery  #gaininglife  #progressnotperfection 
(THE FIRST 3 POSTS I MADE HAVE BEEN ME INTRODUCING MYSELF AND WHAT I AM CURRENTLY BATTLING! I WILL MOST LIKELY POST ON WEDNESDAY WHICH IS WHEN I WILL BE HAVING MY FIRST DIETICIAN APPOINTMENT! I MIGHT HAVE A MEAL PLAN SO I MIGHT BE POSTING A FOOD DIARY)⚙️TW⚙️TW⚙️ I truly believe that ana has taken away my ability to eat and function like a normal human being. Everyday feels the same. I don't look forward to the food I eat, I just eat it. I used to be able to eat as much as I wanted and not feel any guilt after a meal. I hope to regain that ability. Ana has given me a lot of urges. Everyday I try and resist the urge to exercise and stand for excessive periods of time. It's strange and I know it makes the people around me feel so uncomfortable. This disorder has taken over my life and I need to recover and win against ana.
(THE FIRST 3 POSTS I MADE HAVE BEEN ME INTRODUCING MYSELF AND WHAT I AM CURRENTLY BATTLING! I WILL MOST LIKELY POST ON WEDNESDAY WHICH IS WHEN I WILL BE HAVING MY FIRST DIETICIAN APPOINTMENT! I MIGHT HAVE A MEAL PLAN SO I MIGHT BE POSTING A FOOD DIARY)⚙️TW⚙️TW⚙️ I truly believe that ana has taken away my ability to eat and function like a normal human being. Everyday feels the same. I don't look forward to the food I eat, I just eat it. I used to be able to eat as much as I wanted and not feel any guilt after a meal. I hope to regain that ability. Ana has given me a lot of urges. Everyday I try and resist the urge to exercise and stand for excessive periods of time. It's strange and I know it makes the people around me feel so uncomfortable. This disorder has taken over my life and I need to recover and win against ana.
Hey ihr Lieben,
Ich setze vorsichtshalber mal ein TW vor den Post, allerdings ist der Post eigentlich mehr ein Update und wie ich weiter machen will. Also, die letzten Wochen lief es nicht gut, gar nicht gut... das Ergebnis: ich hab wieder das Gewicht von vor der Krankenauseinweisung vor 8 Wochen. Ich hab in letzter Zeit immer weiter reduziert und bin an guten Tagen auf maximal 1500kcal gekommen, ich hab jeden Tag das selbe gefrühstückt und zu Abend gegessen, bloß keine Kalorie mehr, als am Vortag. Ich hab jeden Tag gesagt, morgen wirds besser, morgen ess ich wieder mehr. Habs nie durchgezogen. Aber damit ist jetzt Schluss. Ich finde das Bild 👆 super, denn genau so ging es mir. Hab immer gehofft, dass sich was ändert und es mir bald besser geht, aber ohne, dass ich was dafür tu grhts nunmal nicht! Deswegen raff ich mich wieder auf, kämpge dafür, dass alles gut wird!! Heute fang ich an! Zum Frühstück wirds endlich mal wieder Brötchen geben, ausserdem bekommen wir Besuch und meine Mama wird Apfelkuchen backen und es wird Abendessen mit Vorspeiße und Nachtisch geben und ich werde mit essen. Alles. Ich schaff das, das weiß ich. Wie meine weitere Steigerung aussieht kann ich euch morgen gerne in der Story zeigen, ich schreib mir nämlich nen Essensplan. Habt ihr Intresse? Naja also so viel dazu. Nun zu der Seite. Ich werd am Tag mindestens 1x was posten und den Rest den ich esse in die Story stellen, ich hoffe das ist so in Ordnung für euch 🙈 wenn ihr Fragen hsbt, könnt ihr jederzeit fragen, genauso könnt ihr mir Verbesserungsvorschläge oder ideen schreiben, was ich anders machen könnte 😊 würd mich über feedback sehr freuen! Naja jetzt ist aber Zeit schlafen zu gehen, also gute Nacht❤
Hey ihr Lieben, Ich setze vorsichtshalber mal ein TW vor den Post, allerdings ist der Post eigentlich mehr ein Update und wie ich weiter machen will. Also, die letzten Wochen lief es nicht gut, gar nicht gut... das Ergebnis: ich hab wieder das Gewicht von vor der Krankenauseinweisung vor 8 Wochen. Ich hab in letzter Zeit immer weiter reduziert und bin an guten Tagen auf maximal 1500kcal gekommen, ich hab jeden Tag das selbe gefrühstückt und zu Abend gegessen, bloß keine Kalorie mehr, als am Vortag. Ich hab jeden Tag gesagt, morgen wirds besser, morgen ess ich wieder mehr. Habs nie durchgezogen. Aber damit ist jetzt Schluss. Ich finde das Bild 👆 super, denn genau so ging es mir. Hab immer gehofft, dass sich was ändert und es mir bald besser geht, aber ohne, dass ich was dafür tu grhts nunmal nicht! Deswegen raff ich mich wieder auf, kämpge dafür, dass alles gut wird!! Heute fang ich an! Zum Frühstück wirds endlich mal wieder Brötchen geben, ausserdem bekommen wir Besuch und meine Mama wird Apfelkuchen backen und es wird Abendessen mit Vorspeiße und Nachtisch geben und ich werde mit essen. Alles. Ich schaff das, das weiß ich. Wie meine weitere Steigerung aussieht kann ich euch morgen gerne in der Story zeigen, ich schreib mir nämlich nen Essensplan. Habt ihr Intresse? Naja also so viel dazu. Nun zu der Seite. Ich werd am Tag mindestens 1x was posten und den Rest den ich esse in die Story stellen, ich hoffe das ist so in Ordnung für euch 🙈 wenn ihr Fragen hsbt, könnt ihr jederzeit fragen, genauso könnt ihr mir Verbesserungsvorschläge oder ideen schreiben, was ich anders machen könnte 😊 würd mich über feedback sehr freuen! Naja jetzt ist aber Zeit schlafen zu gehen, also gute Nacht❤
A couple of other cereals I've had this week. It might be because I drink soya milk now, but coco pops don't seem to taste as chocolaty as they used to...
I now have 20 different types of cereal in the house....I'll need more room considering I haven't made a dent in my cereal bucket list! #cerealkiller #cocopops #branflakes #EDStruggles #BattlingANa #ITried #fearfood #anorexia #ana #AN #anasoldier #anawarrior #beatana #beat #edfamily #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #FoodBaby #mentalhealth #nourishnotpunish #boobsnotbones #prorecovery #progressnotperfection #recoverywarrior #realrecovery #thestruggleisreal
A couple of other cereals I've had this week. It might be because I drink soya milk now, but coco pops don't seem to taste as chocolaty as they used to... I now have 20 different types of cereal in the house....I'll need more room considering I haven't made a dent in my cereal bucket list! #cerealkiller  #cocopops  #branflakes  #EDStruggles  #BattlingANa  #ITried  #fearfood  #anorexia  #ana  #AN  #anasoldier  #anawarrior  #beatana  #beat  #edfamily  #edfighter  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #FoodBaby  #mentalhealth  #nourishnotpunish  #boobsnotbones  #prorecovery  #progressnotperfection  #recoverywarrior  #realrecovery  #thestruggleisreal 
Cannot contain excitement! I haven't had these in years and have been craving them for weeks! Time to bring out the cereal killer in me 😉#Ricicles #cereal #cerealkiller #EDStruggles #BattlingANa #ITried #fearfood #anorexia #ana #AN #anasoldier #anawarrior #beatana #beat #edfamily #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #FoodBaby #mentalhealth #nourishnotpunish #boobsnotbones #prorecovery #progressnotperfection #recoverywarrior #realrecovery #thestruggleisreal
Cannot contain excitement! I haven't had these in years and have been craving them for weeks! Time to bring out the cereal killer in me 😉#Ricicles  #cereal  #cerealkiller  #EDStruggles  #BattlingANa  #ITried  #fearfood  #anorexia  #ana  #AN  #anasoldier  #anawarrior  #beatana  #beat  #edfamily  #edfighter  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #FoodBaby  #mentalhealth  #nourishnotpunish  #boobsnotbones  #prorecovery  #progressnotperfection  #recoverywarrior  #realrecovery  #thestruggleisreal 
Today I added more topping like raisins strawberries banana almonds chocolate chip cookies I been beating Ana all day so proud :)) and I been also having so much energy lately I been cleaning my room playing with family and I got good grades in my report card which I'm surprise cause I been missing school a lot I've also done a lot of journaling and planning so I'm happy about that #recovering #nourishtoflourish #fooddiary #prorecovery #nourishtoflourish #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #foodblogger #recoveryisworthit #recoveryforboobs #recoveryispossible #edwarrior #ED #edfamily #edrecovery #edcommunity #anorexiarecover #fightingana #2fab4ana #fuckana #anafighter #anawarrior #pintparty #icecream #porridge
Today I added more topping like raisins strawberries banana almonds chocolate chip cookies I been beating Ana all day so proud :)) and I been also having so much energy lately I been cleaning my room playing with family and I got good grades in my report card which I'm surprise cause I been missing school a lot I've also done a lot of journaling and planning so I'm happy about that #recovering  #nourishtoflourish  #fooddiary  #prorecovery  #nourishtoflourish  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #foodblogger  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryforboobs  #recoveryispossible  #edwarrior  #ED  #edfamily  #edrecovery  #edcommunity  #anorexiarecover  #fightingana  #2fab4ana  #fuckana  #anafighter  #anawarrior  #pintparty  #icecream  #porridge 
dinner is veggie pizza with a friend! My class moved into the pub on campus today so I got to have two beers during class which was nice until I had to present something 😊 #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexialife #edfamily #selfcare #bipolar #borderline #adultswitheatingdisorders
Afternoon snack was lactose free cottage cheese with three huge wheat crackers. 😕 #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexianervosa #ed #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexia #edfamily #fullaf #tired #headache #guilt #hate #anxietyattack #depression #friday #afternoonsnack
dinner: chicken breast, spinach, and lentil pasta with tomato sauce. ah i feel full but honestly it tasted good. food tasted good and i let myself enjoy it 💪
dinner: chicken breast, spinach, and lentil pasta with tomato sauce. ah i feel full but honestly it tasted good. food tasted good and i let myself enjoy it 💪
Food diary- 17.11.2017

Breakfast (11:25am)- orange
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Lunch (12:51pm)- potatoes (120g), broccoli (87g), cherry tomatoes (39g), cucumber (70g), hummus (30g)
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Afternoon snack (2:30pm)- kaki
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Dinner (5:10pm)- cucumber (140g), ketchup (20g), hummus (30g)
.
Nightsnack (9:10pm)- ice cream made only from banana (117g) and low fat Dutch cocoa

#recovery #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #edrecoveryfamily #recoveryishard #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anorexianervosa #2fab4ana #fuckana #edfighter #beatana #anarecovery #recovering #anawarrior #edfamily #prorecovery #realrecovery #ed #ana
Food diary- 17.11.2017 Breakfast (11:25am)- orange . Lunch (12:51pm)- potatoes (120g), broccoli (87g), cherry tomatoes (39g), cucumber (70g), hummus (30g) . Afternoon snack (2:30pm)- kaki . Dinner (5:10pm)- cucumber (140g), ketchup (20g), hummus (30g) . Nightsnack (9:10pm)- ice cream made only from banana (117g) and low fat Dutch cocoa #recovery  #anorexiarecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #edrecoveryfamily  #recoveryishard  #recoveryisworthit  #anorexia  #anorexianervosa  #2fab4ana  #fuckana  #edfighter  #beatana  #anarecovery  #recovering  #anawarrior  #edfamily  #prorecovery  #realrecovery  #ed  #ana 
Dandelions will always be my favourite flower 🌼 I’m actually intending on getting a tattoo of one, they symbolise hope and freedom and wishing for better things to happen. Anyway, this morning I went to get my morning meds at 8:30 and then went back to bed for a “quick nap” I was woken up to get my meds and I was like like I already had them and they were like Lauren it’s 12:30 😂 So had a bit of a lazy start but I did some work in the ot group and worked on the scrapbook I’m giving Maisie for her first birthday next week 👶 I also have not stopped eating all day and it’s weigh day tomorrow but honestly I’m so fed up of this eating disorder so I’m just going to have to battle my way through the thoughts until I’m at a healthy mindset again. I’ve also been told that if I’m underweight a cygnet unit won’t take me so that’s just another reason to eat more and stay healthy 👍 Tomorrow my nan is coming up to see me and in the evening my mum, stepdad and Maisie are coming up with dominoes 🤤 and I can’t wait. Hope you all have a good day and a good weekend. Sending lots of love to everyone of you ❤️
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #realshit #recovery #recoveryisworthit #depression #anxiety #anorexia #bulimia #ocd #bpd #eatingdisorderrecovery #yougotthis #yourlife #mentalillness #daybyday #ednos #edrecovery #positivity #lifeisbeautiful #bloggerlife #recoveryisworthit #happy #love #positiveenergy #suicideprevention #onedayatatime #instafam #edrecovery #edfamily #lifestyleblogger #quotestoliveby
Dandelions will always be my favourite flower 🌼 I’m actually intending on getting a tattoo of one, they symbolise hope and freedom and wishing for better things to happen. Anyway, this morning I went to get my morning meds at 8:30 and then went back to bed for a “quick nap” I was woken up to get my meds and I was like like I already had them and they were like Lauren it’s 12:30 😂 So had a bit of a lazy start but I did some work in the ot group and worked on the scrapbook I’m giving Maisie for her first birthday next week 👶 I also have not stopped eating all day and it’s weigh day tomorrow but honestly I’m so fed up of this eating disorder so I’m just going to have to battle my way through the thoughts until I’m at a healthy mindset again. I’ve also been told that if I’m underweight a cygnet unit won’t take me so that’s just another reason to eat more and stay healthy 👍 Tomorrow my nan is coming up to see me and in the evening my mum, stepdad and Maisie are coming up with dominoes 🤤 and I can’t wait. Hope you all have a good day and a good weekend. Sending lots of love to everyone of you ❤️ • • • • #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #realshit  #recovery  #recoveryisworthit  #depression  #anxiety  #anorexia  #bulimia  #ocd  #bpd  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #yougotthis  #yourlife  #mentalillness  #daybyday  #ednos  #edrecovery  #positivity  #lifeisbeautiful  #bloggerlife  #recoveryisworthit  #happy  #love  #positiveenergy  #suicideprevention  #onedayatatime  #instafam  #edrecovery  #edfamily  #lifestyleblogger  #quotestoliveby 
⚙️TW⚙️TW⚙️ I have extreme body image issues. When this whole fitness idea came about, it was because I felt so uncomfortable and so ashamed about my body. I wanted to lose weight (which I didn't need to do because I was already underweight). I'd be lying if I said social media didn't influence this change, because it did. A lot. I hate my body so much. At the time, I just really wanted to lose weight, so I restricted my meals. I only really had 3 small snacks throughout the day to compensate for the dreaded unknown calorie dinner that I faced at night. I started counting calories (which is one of my biggest regrets), and I barely get 1000 calories a day. There's not one minute of the day where I'm not thinking about food. It's so pathetic and miserable. I just wish I could revert back to my old self. The one who would eat so much and not care at all about body image. I'd do it in a heartbeat.
⚙️TW⚙️TW⚙️ I have extreme body image issues. When this whole fitness idea came about, it was because I felt so uncomfortable and so ashamed about my body. I wanted to lose weight (which I didn't need to do because I was already underweight). I'd be lying if I said social media didn't influence this change, because it did. A lot. I hate my body so much. At the time, I just really wanted to lose weight, so I restricted my meals. I only really had 3 small snacks throughout the day to compensate for the dreaded unknown calorie dinner that I faced at night. I started counting calories (which is one of my biggest regrets), and I barely get 1000 calories a day. There's not one minute of the day where I'm not thinking about food. It's so pathetic and miserable. I just wish I could revert back to my old self. The one who would eat so much and not care at all about body image. I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Mental health recovery is hard. Especially when you've got multiple mental health problems that seem to all just clash against each other when you start working towards recovery from just one of them. 
Sometimes it'll feel like you're mind is screaming from multiple different directions at once. The urges to deal with them negatively will start coming forward. You'll feel like screaming half the time because your brain is so loud. 
It feels like tackling one thing makes everything worse but realistically that's because most of the time they're all connected. You're fighting them all at once. You are one soldier up against a battle field full of mines and explosions. Let them explode, kill off a few of the gits with every explosion. Run around screaming like a crazy warrior (don't actually, it's not deemed appropriate to do in tescos). You can fight you brain and win. There's just gonna be a hell of a lot of hard work, temper tantrums and ruined make up in between. That's completely okay. No one glides through recovery with a smile slapped across their face. And if you did, well you're one lucky git and tell us your secret.  #realrecovery  #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #edcommunity #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #eatittobeatit #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #anxiety #wifematerial #mentalhealth #skinny #weightlossjourney #dmmeguys #anawho #anawarrior #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
Mental health recovery is hard. Especially when you've got multiple mental health problems that seem to all just clash against each other when you start working towards recovery from just one of them. Sometimes it'll feel like you're mind is screaming from multiple different directions at once. The urges to deal with them negatively will start coming forward. You'll feel like screaming half the time because your brain is so loud. It feels like tackling one thing makes everything worse but realistically that's because most of the time they're all connected. You're fighting them all at once. You are one soldier up against a battle field full of mines and explosions. Let them explode, kill off a few of the gits with every explosion. Run around screaming like a crazy warrior (don't actually, it's not deemed appropriate to do in tescos). You can fight you brain and win. There's just gonna be a hell of a lot of hard work, temper tantrums and ruined make up in between. That's completely okay. No one glides through recovery with a smile slapped across their face. And if you did, well you're one lucky git and tell us your secret. #realrecovery  #recovery  #recovering  #edfamily  #edwarrior  #edfighter  #edfam  #edcommunity  #recoveryisworthit  #recoverywin  #eatittobeatit  #ana  #anarecovery  #edrecovery  #anorexianervosa  #prorecovery  #recoveryispossible  #fuckana  #anxiety  #wifematerial  #mentalhealth  #skinny  #weightlossjourney  #dmmeguys  #anawho  #anawarrior  #anafighter  #anarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery 
I am back with a new lunch! I’ve come up with a new recipeh (FFXV anyone? 😏) for a soup I wanted to try today which was kimchi soup! And I did try it! And it was good! I put in the rest of the baby bok choi I used from the other day, and finished up my kimchi! This was honestly surprisingly good considering it’s my first time actually sh*tting my way through cooking! 😁 I did have some thoughts today of wanting to go back to my old routine of restriction and to lose more weight because of how these changes in my body are making me feel but remember to always stay strong loves, because even though it gets tough, you have to look forward and know that eventually, even if you did go back, recovery will always still be that something you are going to come back to 😊 ✨💕#anorexiarecovery #anorexia #ed #edwarrior #edrecovery #edfamily #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatforboobs #boobsnotbone #healthynotskinny #nourishnotpunish #eatittobeatit #recoverforboobs #doitfortheboobs #2fab4ana
I am back with a new lunch! I’ve come up with a new recipeh (FFXV anyone? 😏) for a soup I wanted to try today which was kimchi soup! And I did try it! And it was good! I put in the rest of the baby bok choi I used from the other day, and finished up my kimchi! This was honestly surprisingly good considering it’s my first time actually sh*tting my way through cooking! 😁 I did have some thoughts today of wanting to go back to my old routine of restriction and to lose more weight because of how these changes in my body are making me feel but remember to always stay strong loves, because even though it gets tough, you have to look forward and know that eventually, even if you did go back, recovery will always still be that something you are going to come back to 😊 ✨💕#anorexiarecovery  #anorexia  #ed  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #edfamily  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatforboobs  #boobsnotbone  #healthynotskinny  #nourishnotpunish  #eatittobeatit  #recoverforboobs  #doitfortheboobs  #2fab4ana 
Completely unweighted shredded wheats because fuck yup anorexia. I've been wanting this for days and everyday you promised tomorrow. Nah mate. Today is tomorrow. This is happening treacle. I am taking back some fucking control you hoe.  #realrecovery  #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #edcommunity #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #eatittobeatit #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #fuckanorexia #nourishtoflourish #shreddies #healthy #fighting #strongnotskinny #anawho #anawarrior #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
Completely unweighted shredded wheats because fuck yup anorexia. I've been wanting this for days and everyday you promised tomorrow. Nah mate. Today is tomorrow. This is happening treacle. I am taking back some fucking control you hoe. #realrecovery  #recovery  #recovering  #edfamily  #edwarrior  #edfighter  #edfam  #edcommunity  #recoveryisworthit  #recoverywin  #eatittobeatit  #ana  #anarecovery  #edrecovery  #anorexianervosa  #prorecovery  #recoveryispossible  #fuckana  #fuckanorexia  #nourishtoflourish  #shreddies  #healthy  #fighting  #strongnotskinny  #anawho  #anawarrior  #anafighter  #anarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery 
me: omg why have i been craving so many fear foods this past week??
also me: *gets period* oh ok thanks @ pms
me: omg why have i been craving so many fear foods this past week?? also me: *gets period* oh ok thanks @ pms
Lunch was incredibly boring because my orthorexia took over and I couldn’t handle it 🙄 but I did eat the other half of the avocado from this morning which I wouldn’t have done regularly so that’s a plus! Honestly today has been absolute garbage. I’ve gotten nothing done and I just feel like such a lazy slob. And now I’m being negative which is making me feel worse. I just want to go to bed and start today over.

#prorecovery #edfam #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoveryarmy#recoverywarrior  #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated
Lunch was incredibly boring because my orthorexia took over and I couldn’t handle it 🙄 but I did eat the other half of the avocado from this morning which I wouldn’t have done regularly so that’s a plus! Honestly today has been absolute garbage. I’ve gotten nothing done and I just feel like such a lazy slob. And now I’m being negative which is making me feel worse. I just want to go to bed and start today over. #prorecovery  #edfam  #edfood  #edarmy  #edrecovery  #anawho  #anawarrior  #anarecovery  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryispossible  #recoveryarmy #recoverywarrior  #anorexia  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eattolive  #eattogrow  #eattogain  #edfamily  #anafamily  #goodbyeed  #edcommunity  #beated 
Super basic yet delicious lunch today! 👅 •Scrambled egg whites (and yeah, I challenged myself to regular ketchup 🍅 (!), as lately I've avoiding certain condiments/sauces for no logic reason 🙃)
•Steamed vegetables- broccoli 🌳 and carrots 🥕 drizzled with lemon juice and soy sauce 😍 •Also had a 'tostada' on the side, because we can't forget our carbs 👍🏼 Today I went to the hairdresser and had a haircut (duh 😂), it wasn't that much of a difference, basically was just a trim, but maaan, my hair feels lighter and healthier ☺

It's Friday, and as always I have super interesting plans of staying home and watch some Netflix with a snack ✌🏼 What are everyone's FriYAY plans? Hope you all are doing great, friends 🤗 
And remember, keep fighting and stay strong 💙
Super basic yet delicious lunch today! 👅 •Scrambled egg whites (and yeah, I challenged myself to regular ketchup 🍅 (!), as lately I've avoiding certain condiments/sauces for no logic reason 🙃) •Steamed vegetables- broccoli 🌳 and carrots 🥕 drizzled with lemon juice and soy sauce 😍 •Also had a 'tostada' on the side, because we can't forget our carbs 👍🏼 Today I went to the hairdresser and had a haircut (duh 😂), it wasn't that much of a difference, basically was just a trim, but maaan, my hair feels lighter and healthier ☺ It's Friday, and as always I have super interesting plans of staying home and watch some Netflix with a snack ✌🏼 What are everyone's FriYAY plans? Hope you all are doing great, friends 🤗 And remember, keep fighting and stay strong 💙
Breakfast was the usual of cornflakes w berries and yogurt 🥛🍓
So I’m not doing well i read through some of my mums texts and her friend said to my mum that I’m using my eating to control her drinking how the fuck why would I go trough all this pain for my mums drinking if I could be a normal I would do it for me right now I’m only eating for my family she has no idea how much I’m struggling she actual thinks everything is about her and I can’t take it 🙁
{ #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderfamily #edrecovery #edfamily #strongnotskinny #boobsoverbones #recoveringanorexic #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery }
Breakfast was the usual of cornflakes w berries and yogurt 🥛🍓 So I’m not doing well i read through some of my mums texts and her friend said to my mum that I’m using my eating to control her drinking how the fuck why would I go trough all this pain for my mums drinking if I could be a normal I would do it for me right now I’m only eating for my family she has no idea how much I’m struggling she actual thinks everything is about her and I can’t take it 🙁 { #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderfamily  #edrecovery  #edfamily  #strongnotskinny  #boobsoverbones  #recoveringanorexic  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryispossible  #anorexia  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #anarecovery  #anorexianervosarecovery  }
been home alone all evening and well I got hdistracted by my phone, messages, yt... I almost forgot to prep pancakes for breakie tmrw. other than that not much happend except the usual #dinner as pictured plus dinner from yday. rather short and weird caption bc I'm #tired and don't want to end up writing bs
been home alone all evening and well I got hdistracted by my phone, messages, yt... I almost forgot to prep pancakes for breakie tmrw. other than that not much happend except the usual #dinner  as pictured plus dinner from yday. rather short and weird caption bc I'm #tired  and don't want to end up writing bs
#cena che mi faceva una paura assurdaaa!! La besciamella mi spaventava da morire, ma l'altro giorno, quando ho assaggiato un boccone di lasagne dal piatto di mamma, me ne sono innamorata! Quindi chissene frega se non so come sono state preparate e quanto olio c'è! Ho fatto il corso duro in palestra ed è tutta la settimana che studio come una pazza, quindi me le merito. Me le meriterei anche dopo tre giorni di divano&letto per il semplice fatto che il cibo non deve essere un premio, ma NUTRIMENTO. 
Dopo questo bel piattone, ho mangiato una pera matura e straaa enorme!!
Ps: la foto è veramente brutta, ma l'amore per le lasagne è tornato più forte che mai😍😍
Notte
#dinner #cibo #food #foodporn #anorexia #ana #noproana #anorexianervosa #anoressianervosa #loveyourbody #loveyourself #anoressiaitalia #2fab4ana #dca #ed #edfamily #edwarrior #edcomminity #eatright #eatclean #eatclean #eathealthy #healthylife #goodalimentation #diarioalimentare #diary #fit #fitness
#cena  che mi faceva una paura assurdaaa!! La besciamella mi spaventava da morire, ma l'altro giorno, quando ho assaggiato un boccone di lasagne dal piatto di mamma, me ne sono innamorata! Quindi chissene frega se non so come sono state preparate e quanto olio c'è! Ho fatto il corso duro in palestra ed è tutta la settimana che studio come una pazza, quindi me le merito. Me le meriterei anche dopo tre giorni di divano&letto per il semplice fatto che il cibo non deve essere un premio, ma NUTRIMENTO. Dopo questo bel piattone, ho mangiato una pera matura e straaa enorme!! Ps: la foto è veramente brutta, ma l'amore per le lasagne è tornato più forte che mai😍😍 Notte #dinner  #cibo  #food  #foodporn  #anorexia  #ana  #noproana  #anorexianervosa  #anoressianervosa  #loveyourbody  #loveyourself  #anoressiaitalia  #2fab4ana  #dca  #ed  #edfamily  #edwarrior  #edcomminity  #eatright  #eatclean  #eatclean  #eathealthy  #healthylife  #goodalimentation  #diarioalimentare  #diary  #fit  #fitness 
How pretty was the sky earlier 😍😍 anyway update on today as quite alot has happened ....
I met with my head of 6th form earlier and because we couldn't get through to anyone in the morning I had to sit with her until 1ish when my nurse finally rang and we decided on a few things:
1. I have to have had at least 1200 cals the previous day to attend the next 
2. I must attend alternate day bloods and keep them satisfactory.
3. If I've self harmed or am feeling risky then I have to stay with either her or my tutor and they have to keep eyes on me for 2 school days and,
4. If I'm under the influence of cocaine on any given day then I will be sent home .
Hopefully these rules will keep me safe and in school so we are hoping that they work or they are going to look at having another cpa at school along with the crisis team to draw up another plan. BUT... on a very positive note I did get my appointment through today about my review with psych for my driving license which will be on the 27th and will bring me upto 3 months OD free which is a massive achievement!!!!! Like my head of 6th said earlier though I've worked pretty damn hard to keep OD free and and it shows I really can do it. It's in my court to get better now or im just going round in circles and that probably why I'm so dizzy 😂 but honestly I get what she means as if I turn around and keep going back just because I'm scared of the next step then I'll keep making the same mistakes over and over. Tomorrow I've got the full day to relapse if I want to but I have to think of the consequences before I act on them 😊😊😊😊
#positive #anarecovery #edfighter #edfamily #support #foodisfuel #anorexianervosarecovery #edwarrior #anorexianervosa #anorexia #edfam #edsoldier #recoverywin #recovery #anafighter #bpd #staystrong #keepfighting
How pretty was the sky earlier 😍😍 anyway update on today as quite alot has happened .... I met with my head of 6th form earlier and because we couldn't get through to anyone in the morning I had to sit with her until 1ish when my nurse finally rang and we decided on a few things: 1. I have to have had at least 1200 cals the previous day to attend the next 2. I must attend alternate day bloods and keep them satisfactory. 3. If I've self harmed or am feeling risky then I have to stay with either her or my tutor and they have to keep eyes on me for 2 school days and, 4. If I'm under the influence of cocaine on any given day then I will be sent home . Hopefully these rules will keep me safe and in school so we are hoping that they work or they are going to look at having another cpa at school along with the crisis team to draw up another plan. BUT... on a very positive note I did get my appointment through today about my review with psych for my driving license which will be on the 27th and will bring me upto 3 months OD free which is a massive achievement!!!!! Like my head of 6th said earlier though I've worked pretty damn hard to keep OD free and and it shows I really can do it. It's in my court to get better now or im just going round in circles and that probably why I'm so dizzy 😂 but honestly I get what she means as if I turn around and keep going back just because I'm scared of the next step then I'll keep making the same mistakes over and over. Tomorrow I've got the full day to relapse if I want to but I have to think of the consequences before I act on them 😊😊😊😊 #positive  #anarecovery  #edfighter  #edfamily  #support  #foodisfuel  #anorexianervosarecovery  #edwarrior  #anorexianervosa  #anorexia  #edfam  #edsoldier  #recoverywin  #recovery  #anafighter  #bpd  #staystrong  #keepfighting 
Hey again lovely people ! #nightsnack this evening is an orange, tea, cherry tomatoes carrots and pickles, Passion fruit Alpro Go On soy yoghurt, pear flavored gelatin free pastilles and a organic #vegan chocolate chip protein bar 😋. Hope you all had a great Friday evening ! 😘☮️✌️❤️🕉 #vegan #vegetarian #carbs #carbsarebae #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #anafighter #anawho #fuckana #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edfamily #edfam #overexecise #overexercisingrecovery #overexercising #exercise #tca #spiseforstyrrelse
Hey again lovely people ! #nightsnack  this evening is an orange, tea, cherry tomatoes carrots and pickles, Passion fruit Alpro Go On soy yoghurt, pear flavored gelatin free pastilles and a organic #vegan  chocolate chip protein bar 😋. Hope you all had a great Friday evening ! 😘☮️✌️❤️🕉 #vegan  #vegetarian  #carbs  #carbsarebae  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexia  #anafighter  #anawho  #fuckana  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edrecovery  #edfamily  #edfam  #overexecise  #overexercisingrecovery  #overexercising  #exercise  #tca  #spiseforstyrrelse 
okay last post of the day lmao. I can't believe I made it to 18! I really made it. I've been struggling with various mental health issues since I was 13 and there were so many times when my depression got bad and my future seemed so bleak and ending my own life felt like the only option. I've been told by doctors that my body was so weak due to anorexia that I was at risk of death.  I always assumed that by 18 I would be dead. But I kept fighting and I kept growing stronger and here I am. I'm fully recovered from my eating disorder, attending school everyday, socialising with my friends etc. I am thriving. And whilst I may not have made a full recovery from depression, I have learnt so many coping strategies over the years that I can use to help me cope when things get overwhelming. so yeah soppy paragraph over loool
okay last post of the day lmao. I can't believe I made it to 18! I really made it. I've been struggling with various mental health issues since I was 13 and there were so many times when my depression got bad and my future seemed so bleak and ending my own life felt like the only option. I've been told by doctors that my body was so weak due to anorexia that I was at risk of death. I always assumed that by 18 I would be dead. But I kept fighting and I kept growing stronger and here I am. I'm fully recovered from my eating disorder, attending school everyday, socialising with my friends etc. I am thriving. And whilst I may not have made a full recovery from depression, I have learnt so many coping strategies over the years that I can use to help me cope when things get overwhelming. so yeah soppy paragraph over loool
Apericena spagnolo con amiche, buffet con tantissime cosine buone buone, tapas con salmone e con gamberi fragole e ananas, e ovviamente sangria! #edsoldier #edfamily #ana #anarecovery #recovery #food #foodporn #eat #lunch #dinner #anorexia  #anasoldier #anafamily #beatana #edfighter #anafighter #weareourcharge #diarioalimentare #anaitaly #anoressiaitalia
Lunch is a Joseph’s flatbread with turkey .
.feeling SO guilty and restriction/behavior urges are high. I am super sick and so I can pretty much only lay down.  I feel like I shouldn’t be eating this much because I’m being so lazy.  Uggg I feel so disgusting .

#anorexiarecovery #anorexia #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #bodydysmorphia #ihatemyself #relapse #fdoe #struggles #edfamily #edwarriors
I had a Kaspas today!!! Big recovery win. Let’s just say this is my early 100 follower challenge lol😂
#mentalhealth #saveme #depression #anarecovery #anxiety #ednos #pills #selfhate #selfharm #anorexia #suicidal #recovery #killme #therapy #psychology #psychiatrist #teen #edfamily #ed #edrecovery #bpd #eupd #bpdrecovery #eupdrecovery #love #dbt
Hi angels, it's me again, finally 😏 I feel as though my last post was a bit of a cliff hanger as I told you all I'd be challenging myself only to disappear for 2 days lol 😂 But here I am!! And with this amaaaaazing Bento box I ordered from a Japanese restaurant we ended up going to for my brother's birthday! 🍱
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This was challenging in many ways, as it was both unexpected and HUGE and I felt as though I should be doing homework instead but it was so worth it ❤ I was going to get the teriyaki tofu but unfortunately it had fish sauce in it, however I was able to get plain tofu and a spicy dipping sauce on the side which was vegan and it was PENNGGG 🌶🌶🌶 Plus it came with all the essentials aka avocado rolls and fried yams 🍠
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I actually nearly ate everything as I was hungry but I allowed myself to stop when I was full and take the rest to go instead of eating it all to just "get it over with" or leaving it behind so I wouldn't need to have it again. It was lit so of course I'll be happy to have it a second time, I don't care what anorexia says 😜 I would've ordered a dessert too but I'd eaten too much rice lol and was stuffed plus they didn't do any vegan desserts 💔
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In the end, even if what you're facing right now is hard, there's always a way to get at least a sprinkle of happiness out of it. My mind and my heart were racing but surprisingly I was happy, because I did the very thing my eating disorder told me not to and was triumphant 🎉 Recover for moments like these 💙 xx 
#togetherwecan
Hi angels, it's me again, finally 😏 I feel as though my last post was a bit of a cliff hanger as I told you all I'd be challenging myself only to disappear for 2 days lol 😂 But here I am!! And with this amaaaaazing Bento box I ordered from a Japanese restaurant we ended up going to for my brother's birthday! 🍱 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This was challenging in many ways, as it was both unexpected and HUGE and I felt as though I should be doing homework instead but it was so worth it ❤ I was going to get the teriyaki tofu but unfortunately it had fish sauce in it, however I was able to get plain tofu and a spicy dipping sauce on the side which was vegan and it was PENNGGG 🌶🌶🌶 Plus it came with all the essentials aka avocado rolls and fried yams 🍠 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I actually nearly ate everything as I was hungry but I allowed myself to stop when I was full and take the rest to go instead of eating it all to just "get it over with" or leaving it behind so I wouldn't need to have it again. It was lit so of course I'll be happy to have it a second time, I don't care what anorexia says 😜 I would've ordered a dessert too but I'd eaten too much rice lol and was stuffed plus they didn't do any vegan desserts 💔 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the end, even if what you're facing right now is hard, there's always a way to get at least a sprinkle of happiness out of it. My mind and my heart were racing but surprisingly I was happy, because I did the very thing my eating disorder told me not to and was triumphant 🎉 Recover for moments like these 💙 xx #togetherwecan 
Have you ever tried spinach oatmeal? Me neither, well, until now 😂 I really enjoyed this, and since the oats are neutral tasting, spinach went so nicely with them 🙌 But you'll need to be quite generous with spices (curry spice, black pepper and salt), if you don't want to your final result be a sloppy mess. Cheese and sunflower seeds completed the taste experience 👌

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#bulimia #anorexia #bulimirexia #recoverywarrior #recovery #strongnotskinny #mia #ana #dinner #dinnertime #carbs #healthyfood #food #healthynotskinny #sweetlover #sweets #sugarfree #fatreduced #glutenfree #fitness #foodporn #bodybuilding #edfamily #balancednotclean #delicious #prorecovery #fooddiary #strongnotskinny #recoverywin #foodisfuel #anorexiarecovery
Have you ever tried spinach oatmeal? Me neither, well, until now 😂 I really enjoyed this, and since the oats are neutral tasting, spinach went so nicely with them 🙌 But you'll need to be quite generous with spices (curry spice, black pepper and salt), if you don't want to your final result be a sloppy mess. Cheese and sunflower seeds completed the taste experience 👌 __________________________________________________ #bulimia  #anorexia  #bulimirexia  #recoverywarrior  #recovery  #strongnotskinny  #mia  #ana  #dinner  #dinnertime  #carbs  #healthyfood  #food  #healthynotskinny  #sweetlover  #sweets  #sugarfree  #fatreduced  #glutenfree  #fitness  #foodporn  #bodybuilding  #edfamily  #balancednotclean  #delicious  #prorecovery  #fooddiary  #strongnotskinny  #recoverywin  #foodisfuel  #anorexiarecovery 
Today’s post-PHP treat was extra special because today was my last day of PHP. I start IOP on Tuesdays. I’ve got a lot of feelings about it and have struggled with some behaviors after leaving today, but I want to keep trying to get better.
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#eatingdisorder #eatingdisorders #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #edfighter #edfamily #recovery #recoverycommunity #recoveryrecord #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #anorexiabingepurge #anorexiabp #ana #beatana #eatittobeatit #strength #balance #motivation #adultswitheds #breakthesilence #advocacy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bodyimage #likeforlike #followforfollow #shareforshare
Today’s post-PHP treat was extra special because today was my last day of PHP. I start IOP on Tuesdays. I’ve got a lot of feelings about it and have struggled with some behaviors after leaving today, but I want to keep trying to get better. . . . . . #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorders  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edrecovery  #edwarrior  #edfighter  #edfamily  #recovery  #recoverycommunity  #recoveryrecord  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiabingepurge  #anorexiabp  #ana  #beatana  #eatittobeatit  #strength  #balance  #motivation  #adultswitheds  #breakthesilence  #advocacy  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #bodyimage  #likeforlike  #followforfollow  #shareforshare 
⏩ SWIPEEE ⏩
First Benfica, then Real Madrid and the last one was Atletico, IT WAS GREAT!
⏩ SWIPEEE ⏩ First Benfica, then Real Madrid and the last one was Atletico, IT WAS GREAT!
MY FIRST INFOGRAPHIC! What do you guys think?🤓😍
•
I’ve really thought about these ideas when it comes to weighing myself. It has been a full 8 months since I stepped on a scale because I know I still fit more with the red behaviors on the right that tell me not to weigh in!
•
Weighing in is for one of two things... Checking that what you’ve been doing has worked, OR that the slip ups haven’t set you back. This can set you up for being disappointed by a number and giving up on healthy choices you’ve been making, or continuing on an unhealthy track because negative changes haven’t been reflected by the scale!
•
Checking the scale a MAXIMUM of once a week can be acceptable if you demonstrate the behaviors that fall on the green left side of my diagram. However, reflecting honestly on the quality of the work you’re putting in at the gym and in your food choices is a MUCH more accurate depiction of your success from week to week💯🍎🏋🏼‍♀️
MY FIRST INFOGRAPHIC! What do you guys think?🤓😍 • I’ve really thought about these ideas when it comes to weighing myself. It has been a full 8 months since I stepped on a scale because I know I still fit more with the red behaviors on the right that tell me not to weigh in! • Weighing in is for one of two things... Checking that what you’ve been doing has worked, OR that the slip ups haven’t set you back. This can set you up for being disappointed by a number and giving up on healthy choices you’ve been making, or continuing on an unhealthy track because negative changes haven’t been reflected by the scale! • Checking the scale a MAXIMUM of once a week can be acceptable if you demonstrate the behaviors that fall on the green left side of my diagram. However, reflecting honestly on the quality of the work you’re putting in at the gym and in your food choices is a MUCH more accurate depiction of your success from week to week💯🍎🏋🏼‍♀️
Hey my lovely #edfamily 💖
Here you can see my yummy #nightsnack with #fearfood #hershey #chocolate and some chocolate pudding. 😊
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How was your day? I hope you enjoyed it. 💖
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#recovery #ed #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #lunch #food  #recoveryispossible #realrecovery #edrecovery #edfam #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #anawho #realrecovery #anorexiarecovery #foodporn #health #healthynotskinny #weightgain #food #foodporn #dessert
Hey my lovely #edfamily  💖 Here you can see my yummy #nightsnack  with #fearfood  #hershey  #chocolate  and some chocolate pudding. 😊 . How was your day? I hope you enjoyed it. 💖 . #recovery  #ed  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #lunch  #food  #recoveryispossible  #realrecovery  #edrecovery  #edfam  #edfighter  #edwarrior  #anarecovery  #anawho  #realrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #foodporn  #health  #healthynotskinny  #weightgain  #food  #foodporn  #dessert 
Update-
So today started off with a lie in followed by putting makeup on and getting changed into NON school uniform lolll. 
Then I had an appoitment with Angelia and she advised me to fill in my diary DBT card completely this time as I have my first ‘group session’ Tuesday- meaning it’s been cancelled but I’m the only new person so she’ll do the first session with me then everyone starts group ON THE DAY OF MY DRAMA EXAM (30th November).
I then went to school and did science (which weirdly I understood). Then had form which was shit. But before I went to my dorm room I went to the hub as it’s next door. I spoke to Miss Yule about dropping subjects and asked to have a meeting when things are finalised which is about 2 weeks time I think. Then break which again was shit. The welsh bacc again shit. Then lunch where I pissed about and spoke to my form teacher. Then drama where I freaked out a little and spoke to my drama teacher as she was basically saying we can’t miss any drama lessons until the exam is done. So I made sure I had my exam in the morning and told her I have a appointment  from lunchtime down in Bridgend. So that was sorted out. Then had English. I spoke to my English teacher as he was finally in. And he’s gonna help me with my Romeo and Juliet essay as I made him know I wasn’t here to know what to write. Then reassured him that I’m actually trying a lot recently and that I’ve did my Pierre and everyone else in my class hasn’t (BIG FUCKING SHOCK BTW AS IM THE LAST TO GET SOMETHING DONE). So yeah. 
Also, anyone else find that stress and focusing a lot with schoolwork is basically about control and then it kinda makes you engage in ed behaviours more as the more you control work the more you want to control eating?? Like is this a normal thing?? Especially if I’m prone to anxiety??
#mentalhealth #saveme #depression #anarecovery #anxiety #ednos #pills #selfhate #selfharm #anorexia #suicidal #recovery #killme #therapy #psychology #psychiatrist #teen #edfamily #ed #edrecovery #bpd #eupd #bpdrecovery #eupdrecovery #love #dbt
Update- So today started off with a lie in followed by putting makeup on and getting changed into NON school uniform lolll. Then I had an appoitment with Angelia and she advised me to fill in my diary DBT card completely this time as I have my first ‘group session’ Tuesday- meaning it’s been cancelled but I’m the only new person so she’ll do the first session with me then everyone starts group ON THE DAY OF MY DRAMA EXAM (30th November). I then went to school and did science (which weirdly I understood). Then had form which was shit. But before I went to my dorm room I went to the hub as it’s next door. I spoke to Miss Yule about dropping subjects and asked to have a meeting when things are finalised which is about 2 weeks time I think. Then break which again was shit. The welsh bacc again shit. Then lunch where I pissed about and spoke to my form teacher. Then drama where I freaked out a little and spoke to my drama teacher as she was basically saying we can’t miss any drama lessons until the exam is done. So I made sure I had my exam in the morning and told her I have a appointment from lunchtime down in Bridgend. So that was sorted out. Then had English. I spoke to my English teacher as he was finally in. And he’s gonna help me with my Romeo and Juliet essay as I made him know I wasn’t here to know what to write. Then reassured him that I’m actually trying a lot recently and that I’ve did my Pierre and everyone else in my class hasn’t (BIG FUCKING SHOCK BTW AS IM THE LAST TO GET SOMETHING DONE). So yeah. Also, anyone else find that stress and focusing a lot with schoolwork is basically about control and then it kinda makes you engage in ed behaviours more as the more you control work the more you want to control eating?? Like is this a normal thing?? Especially if I’m prone to anxiety?? #mentalhealth  #saveme  #depression  #anarecovery  #anxiety  #ednos  #pills  #selfhate  #selfharm  #anorexia  #suicidal  #recovery  #killme  #therapy  #psychology  #psychiatrist  #teen  #edfamily  #ed  #edrecovery  #bpd  #eupd  #bpdrecovery  #eupdrecovery  #love  #dbt 
And last but not least: visited my baby’s Fernando Torres and Antoine Griezmann❤️⚽️☺️ Tomorrow going homeeee😿
And last but not least: visited my baby’s Fernando Torres and Antoine Griezmann❤️⚽️☺️ Tomorrow going homeeee😿
Dinnering tonight was ham and cauliflower pie 😍👌🏻 had such a good day today (although it’s a little nippy out isn’t it?! 😭😭) and I challenged myself big time, and you know what?! I feel okay! I don’t feel that overwhelming wracking guilt that almost stopped me from trying things and having a good day- you have to take a chance, you might surprise yourself, and even if guilt does creep in, which it might later, i just have to focus on the fact that I had a good day, and that that is far more important! Have a good evening lovelies ❤️
Dinnering tonight was ham and cauliflower pie 😍👌🏻 had such a good day today (although it’s a little nippy out isn’t it?! 😭😭) and I challenged myself big time, and you know what?! I feel okay! I don’t feel that overwhelming wracking guilt that almost stopped me from trying things and having a good day- you have to take a chance, you might surprise yourself, and even if guilt does creep in, which it might later, i just have to focus on the fact that I had a good day, and that that is far more important! Have a good evening lovelies ❤️
Extra snack to boost my intake is 5(!) plums omg!! #eatittobeatit
New post on the blog (link in bio 👆🏼) with 5 Keys to surviving the holidays.
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The holiday season can be hard when there’s such a focus around food and what to wear.
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But there’s so much you CAN do to shift the focus away from the eating disorder and towards others, towards gratitude.
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Take a read and let me know your thoughts ☃️🎄
New post on the blog (link in bio 👆🏼) with 5 Keys to surviving the holidays. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The holiday season can be hard when there’s such a focus around food and what to wear. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But there’s so much you CAN do to shift the focus away from the eating disorder and towards others, towards gratitude. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Take a read and let me know your thoughts ☃️🎄
afternoon snack: pomegranate seeds and quinoa puffs. i’m feeling kind of down because i might have to start eating my lunch in the nurse’s office at school and yes it’s hard to get through eating lunch but it’s also the time i see my friends in the school day and it would be really sad if that got taken away from me. i guess that’s motivation to make sure i maintain at weigh-in and show that i can be trusted 💕
afternoon snack: pomegranate seeds and quinoa puffs. i’m feeling kind of down because i might have to start eating my lunch in the nurse’s office at school and yes it’s hard to get through eating lunch but it’s also the time i see my friends in the school day and it would be really sad if that got taken away from me. i guess that’s motivation to make sure i maintain at weigh-in and show that i can be trusted 💕
Dinner tonight was a spicy fajita bowl eaten with B in front of some Masterchef on the sofa (so sue us🤷‍♀️) .
Black beans, grated cauli, couscous, fajita peppers and onion topped with coriander and lime👌 .
Super tasty if I do say so myself😬 .
Took today to do a thorough tidy and clean of the flat and some work before the weekend .
Feeling productive but so tired now! .
Really enjoying eating with B in the evenings as he pushes me maybe a bit more than I do alone .
I make up for it with snacks when I’m alone so the intake is the same but it made me realise that it IS okay to just have some slightly bigger meals and have snacks for as and when you need them .
Snacking is comforting to me and it IS good to push me out of that every now and then .
Tomorrow is a challenge day for me.. lunch at Zizzi’s tomorrow with B, mum and my sis and then I have my best mates engagement party in the evening which is pizza and prosecco! .
Urgh it brings anxiety but I’m NOT going to let this illness take anymore enjoyment out of my life🙅 .
NO SIR‼️ .
So bring it on .
#edrecovery #edfamily #recovery #realrecovery #recoverywin #ana  #anorexia #anorexiarecovery  #food #fuckana #prorecovery #bulemia #beated #anawho #weightrestored  #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible  #fearfood #ed  #vegan #fitfam #healthy #balance #anarecovery #vegetarian #eatingdisorder #hungry #cooking #dinner #yummy
Dinner tonight was a spicy fajita bowl eaten with B in front of some Masterchef on the sofa (so sue us🤷‍♀️) . Black beans, grated cauli, couscous, fajita peppers and onion topped with coriander and lime👌 . Super tasty if I do say so myself😬 . Took today to do a thorough tidy and clean of the flat and some work before the weekend . Feeling productive but so tired now! . Really enjoying eating with B in the evenings as he pushes me maybe a bit more than I do alone . I make up for it with snacks when I’m alone so the intake is the same but it made me realise that it IS okay to just have some slightly bigger meals and have snacks for as and when you need them . Snacking is comforting to me and it IS good to push me out of that every now and then . Tomorrow is a challenge day for me.. lunch at Zizzi’s tomorrow with B, mum and my sis and then I have my best mates engagement party in the evening which is pizza and prosecco! . Urgh it brings anxiety but I’m NOT going to let this illness take anymore enjoyment out of my life🙅 . NO SIR‼️ . So bring it on . #edrecovery  #edfamily  #recovery  #realrecovery  #recoverywin  #ana  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #food  #fuckana  #prorecovery  #bulemia  #beated  #anawho  #weightrestored  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryispossible  #fearfood  #ed  #vegan  #fitfam  #healthy  #balance  #anarecovery  #vegetarian  #eatingdisorder  #hungry  #cooking  #dinner  #yummy 
N/S is oats and fruit. Had a crappy day because my social worker told me that I look "really healthy" and so much better from 5 months ago when I was being NG tubed. Bitch. #eatittobeatit
N/S is oats and fruit. Had a crappy day because my social worker told me that I look "really healthy" and so much better from 5 months ago when I was being NG tubed. Bitch. #eatittobeatit 
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, until I checked my phone. After reading a message I received, I felt a bit invalidated and a mixture of sadness and hurt. Even though I recognized that I was letting someone else’s words affect my mood, I did not know how to let it go. Next thing I know I found myself in the bathroom lifting up my shirt, critiquing my body. I started having thoughts of disgust, frustration and anger. The next two hours I obsessed over the thought of my reflection in the mirror and started thinking of ways I could restrict to “fix” my body…until a moment of realization of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks. I started thinking, “WHY am I feeling this way all the sudden?? What am I even doing? Yesterday I felt fine with my body and eating and now I find my body unacceptable out of nowhere?” I backtracked the whole morning until I realized I was using my body to cope with the feelings of invalidation and hurt. This uncomfortable feeling triggered me to take out my feelings on my body and internalize the problem on myself rather than deal with what was really going on. I am so used to internalizing my external problems that it is difficult to not fall back into this self-destructing pattern sometimes. Even though this morning showed me how sneakily my eating disorder can creep back into my life, it also showed me the strength and awareness I have acquired through recovery. I am so happy I was able to snap out of my daze and stop myself before anything got any worse. Now it’s time for some self-care and food to nourish my body, mind and soul. (I’m wearing shorts)
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, until I checked my phone. After reading a message I received, I felt a bit invalidated and a mixture of sadness and hurt. Even though I recognized that I was letting someone else’s words affect my mood, I did not know how to let it go. Next thing I know I found myself in the bathroom lifting up my shirt, critiquing my body. I started having thoughts of disgust, frustration and anger. The next two hours I obsessed over the thought of my reflection in the mirror and started thinking of ways I could restrict to “fix” my body…until a moment of realization of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks. I started thinking, “WHY am I feeling this way all the sudden?? What am I even doing? Yesterday I felt fine with my body and eating and now I find my body unacceptable out of nowhere?” I backtracked the whole morning until I realized I was using my body to cope with the feelings of invalidation and hurt. This uncomfortable feeling triggered me to take out my feelings on my body and internalize the problem on myself rather than deal with what was really going on. I am so used to internalizing my external problems that it is difficult to not fall back into this self-destructing pattern sometimes. Even though this morning showed me how sneakily my eating disorder can creep back into my life, it also showed me the strength and awareness I have acquired through recovery. I am so happy I was able to snap out of my daze and stop myself before anything got any worse. Now it’s time for some self-care and food to nourish my body, mind and soul. (I’m wearing shorts)