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Всем привет!
Как правильно сказала @nst_yam, лето - это время веселья и мороженого. Ну какие, скажите вы мне, могут быть загоны? Ведь кушать мороженку летом - чуть ли не конституционная обязанность каждого добропорядочного гражданина😅
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✔️На #перекус:
🍽 мороженое Extreme Intrigue с малиной и бананом
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Мороженое порадовало. Малина добавляет свою кислинку, а банан - сладость. А, и ещё в хрустящем рожке очень много шоколада.
Сейчас мы уже дома с Вовочкой. Будем играть во что-нибудь.
#рпп #анорексиязло #восстановление #recovery #нетдиетам #edrecovery #foodblog
Всем привет! Как правильно сказала @nst_yam, лето - это время веселья и мороженого. Ну какие, скажите вы мне, могут быть загоны? Ведь кушать мороженку летом - чуть ли не конституционная обязанность каждого добропорядочного гражданина😅 __________ ✔️На #перекус : 🍽 мороженое Extreme Intrigue с малиной и бананом __________ Мороженое порадовало. Малина добавляет свою кислинку, а банан - сладость. А, и ещё в хрустящем рожке очень много шоколада. Сейчас мы уже дома с Вовочкой. Будем играть во что-нибудь. #рпп  #анорексиязло  #восстановление  #recovery  #нетдиетам  #edrecovery  #foodblog 
It's my mother's birthday! I had a nice slice of cake in the morning for her birthday, which is something I would never have done even last month! I feel so strong :D #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #strongnotskinny
Astorga is famous for its artisan chocolate - the original factory is more than 100 years old- and sweets. Mantecadas, a sort of muffin or magdalena deserve a especial mention #mentalhealth #edsoldiers #edrecovery
Astorga is famous for its artisan chocolate - the original factory is more than 100 years old- and sweets. Mantecadas, a sort of muffin or magdalena deserve a especial mention #mentalhealth  #edsoldiers  #edrecovery 
#morningsnack is vandaag 2 crackers met 1/4 #avocado 🥑 en wat tomaatjes en een kiwi 🥝
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Ik ben zenuwachtig! Ik ga straks voor het eerst mijn klas en mentor zien :) ik vind het wel eng want dit is de eerste keer dat ik naar een school ga zonder iemand die ik ken 😳 ik ben super benieuwd! ----
#recoveringdutchie #recoverywin #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #anxiety #ed #edwarrior #edrecovery #eattolive #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #dutchrecovery
Buuooongiorno bellezzeee💃
Se ve lo state chiedendo sì, anch'io ogni tanto mangio qualcosa di sano 😂 no dai, seguo sempre per filo e per segno il mio piano solo che in questi giorni ovviamente i dolci hanno preso il sopravvento 😍
Allora come state, che mi dite? 😁
Ieri sera è andato tutto benissimo, non ce l'ho fatta a prendere la pizza perché me ne avevano già offerte ben ✌️ venerdì e devo uscire a mangiarla anche domani, perciò ho ripiegato su del branzino con verdure grigliate, poi come dolce una crema di fiordilatte, cacao e caffè, digestivo (e fanculo anche alla paura delle calorie dei superalcolici🖕) e infine caffè shakerato dolce (e via di zuccheriii) in un bar😋 al solito sono stata benissimo con loro, mi fanno ridere e sentire parte della famiglia: non c'è cosa più bella💘
Vi lascio con la foto di (parte) della colazione di oggi, per la giornata non ho particolari programmi 🙄 voi invece?
Vi auguro una giornata tranquilla e rilassante, com'è giusto che sia😝

#ana #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #anafighter #anoressia #anoressiaitalia #ed #edrecovery #prorecovery
Buuooongiorno bellezzeee💃 Se ve lo state chiedendo sì, anch'io ogni tanto mangio qualcosa di sano 😂 no dai, seguo sempre per filo e per segno il mio piano solo che in questi giorni ovviamente i dolci hanno preso il sopravvento 😍 Allora come state, che mi dite? 😁 Ieri sera è andato tutto benissimo, non ce l'ho fatta a prendere la pizza perché me ne avevano già offerte ben ✌️ venerdì e devo uscire a mangiarla anche domani, perciò ho ripiegato su del branzino con verdure grigliate, poi come dolce una crema di fiordilatte, cacao e caffè, digestivo (e fanculo anche alla paura delle calorie dei superalcolici🖕) e infine caffè shakerato dolce (e via di zuccheriii) in un bar😋 al solito sono stata benissimo con loro, mi fanno ridere e sentire parte della famiglia: non c'è cosa più bella💘 Vi lascio con la foto di (parte) della colazione di oggi, per la giornata non ho particolari programmi 🙄 voi invece? Vi auguro una giornata tranquilla e rilassante, com'è giusto che sia😝 #ana  #anorexia  #anarecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #anafighter  #anoressia  #anoressiaitalia  #ed  #edrecovery  #prorecovery 
Yeah damn it, I'm feeling good today from the INSIDE! I can still emotional overeat, in fact I did the other day, but when I do now I don't beat myself up for days on end and have the strength to stop. Feeling good in my body is what motivates me, sure I'd be lying if I said i don't care about the way I look, of course I do!! I know now that it's an INSIDE job always for me. #edrecovery #vanitymirror #nutrition #health #weights #strongwoman #fatgirlgettingfit #mindset #mentalhealth #depression #emotionaleater #foodie #glutenfree #idothisforme #raining #gym #pt #soberlife #sobergirl #addictionrecovery #insidejob #fixit #bodylove #confidence #knowyourworth #attitude
Yeah damn it, I'm feeling good today from the INSIDE! I can still emotional overeat, in fact I did the other day, but when I do now I don't beat myself up for days on end and have the strength to stop. Feeling good in my body is what motivates me, sure I'd be lying if I said i don't care about the way I look, of course I do!! I know now that it's an INSIDE job always for me. #edrecovery  #vanitymirror  #nutrition  #health  #weights  #strongwoman  #fatgirlgettingfit  #mindset  #mentalhealth  #depression  #emotionaleater  #foodie  #glutenfree  #idothisforme  #raining  #gym  #pt  #soberlife  #sobergirl  #addictionrecovery  #insidejob  #fixit  #bodylove  #confidence  #knowyourworth  #attitude 
Woke up to a headache this morning, so that sucked. Took some painkillers thou that make me feel floaty and shit so that's fun! Need to pop to a friends house and go food shopping today but ugh, I cba getting ready😪 I'll probably just go out looking like shit fml😭 I really wish I was still at college because now that it's summer and I don't have that to focus on I'm really struggling with my thoughts and urges😟 They're once again consuming me😔
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#instagirl #instagramgirl #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #eatingdisorder #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #summer #college #shopping #food #instafood
Woke up to a headache this morning, so that sucked. Took some painkillers thou that make me feel floaty and shit so that's fun! Need to pop to a friends house and go food shopping today but ugh, I cba getting ready😪 I'll probably just go out looking like shit fml😭 I really wish I was still at college because now that it's summer and I don't have that to focus on I'm really struggling with my thoughts and urges😟 They're once again consuming me😔 . . . #instagirl  #instagramgirl  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #anorexianervosarecovery  #eatingdisorder  #ed  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #summer  #college  #shopping  #food  #instafood 
Hey hello hi 👋. Half of this #yummy #vegan veggie pizza 🍕 was last night's dinner 🍴 and I have kept half to either have it today or idk give it to the neighbors' dog 🐶... I am quite upset 😭 due to some things that have happened the last days ... Well it will pass ... soon i hope 🤞 🤞
Hey hello hi 👋. Half of this #yummy  #vegan  veggie pizza 🍕 was last night's dinner 🍴 and I have kept half to either have it today or idk give it to the neighbors' dog 🐶... I am quite upset 😭 due to some things that have happened the last days ... Well it will pass ... soon i hope 🤞 🤞
Afternoon tea today 😋 mini macro sweet and salty popcorn + tiny teddies 🍭🍬🍿🍪🐻 things have been pretty chill lately leading into the holidays which I'm actually looking forward to! Spending time with friends and my girlfriend, time on the farm and my family and I are planning a trip to Perth to go to @ikea_adelaide_perth and @whiskcreamery 😝 happy hump-day my loves 😘❤️
Afternoon tea today 😋 mini macro sweet and salty popcorn + tiny teddies 🍭🍬🍿🍪🐻 things have been pretty chill lately leading into the holidays which I'm actually looking forward to! Spending time with friends and my girlfriend, time on the farm and my family and I are planning a trip to Perth to go to @ikea_adelaide_perth and @whiskcreamery 😝 happy hump-day my loves 😘❤️
Okay, so I think there's a lot of confusion with you guys lately about my state of recovery so I felt what better than a naked faced cat lady to tell you all. 
I am by no means recovered. I am in recovery. I am still not the most wellest of bunnies mentally but I'm working on it. Food and me have an up and down relationship and I'm still not in a brilliant place with it. 
I'm not some perfect girl who can give you all the answers, tell you the superfoods to eat and what mantras to say to yourself for a speedy recovery. I'm someone who makes mistakes, doesn't know what she's doing and just tries anything that might help. 
Recovery is about finding what works for you personally. There's no one thing that everyone finds helpful when battling their mind. Maybe for one girl it's having sly farts in yoga sessions. Another it might be intense therapy. Another might just sit and eat cupcakes all day until she realises the cupcakes are way better than being starving hungry. Whatever it is, as long as it's positive, try them all until you find what works for you. 
I named the cat Samuel by the way.  #realrecovery  #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #edcommunity #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #eatittobeatit #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #fuckanorexia #cats_of_instagram #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #catlady #strongnotskinny #anawho #anawarrior #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
Okay, so I think there's a lot of confusion with you guys lately about my state of recovery so I felt what better than a naked faced cat lady to tell you all. I am by no means recovered. I am in recovery. I am still not the most wellest of bunnies mentally but I'm working on it. Food and me have an up and down relationship and I'm still not in a brilliant place with it. I'm not some perfect girl who can give you all the answers, tell you the superfoods to eat and what mantras to say to yourself for a speedy recovery. I'm someone who makes mistakes, doesn't know what she's doing and just tries anything that might help. Recovery is about finding what works for you personally. There's no one thing that everyone finds helpful when battling their mind. Maybe for one girl it's having sly farts in yoga sessions. Another it might be intense therapy. Another might just sit and eat cupcakes all day until she realises the cupcakes are way better than being starving hungry. Whatever it is, as long as it's positive, try them all until you find what works for you. I named the cat Samuel by the way. #realrecovery  #recovery  #recovering  #edfamily  #edwarrior  #edfighter  #edfam  #edcommunity  #recoveryisworthit  #recoverywin  #eatittobeatit  #ana  #anarecovery  #edrecovery  #anorexianervosa  #prorecovery  #recoveryispossible  #fuckana  #fuckanorexia  #cats_of_instagram  #mentalhealthmatters  #mentalhealth  #catlady  #strongnotskinny  #anawho  #anawarrior  #anafighter  #anarecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery 
B R E A K F A S T. 
Chai spiced Smoothie Bowl, granola and desiccated coconut. - 2 ripe frozen bananas -Soya milk -1 tsp of chai-spiced syrup

Topped with almond and raisin granola and desiccated coconut.
B R E A K F A S T. Chai spiced Smoothie Bowl, granola and desiccated coconut. - 2 ripe frozen bananas -Soya milk -1 tsp of chai-spiced syrup Topped with almond and raisin granola and desiccated coconut.
There is nothing constant in the universe. The only constant is that everything changes. In polish we have a saying 'you cannot step into the same river twice'. That was also the concept introduced to me in Vipassana - everything is 'aniche', meaning everything passes. So in turn - dont focus on the pain, it will pass. Don't focus on the fleeting pleasures of this world they shall pass too. Lean into complete acceptance of what is ✨ Coming to Europe I was anticipating to eat my fav temperate fruit on mass - cherries, backed up by blueberries and strawberries. But to my surprise, Ive changed too! I buy my fruits intuitively - I look at them or imagine eating them and if my mouth starts to water, if I get this 'Ive gotta have it' feeling, then I buy them. And here's the thing - no part of me wants any berries when I see them. Its crazy to think that I could loose all interest in a fav fruit just like that. On the flipside - I was never a fan of orange juice. Ever. And now its all I want to have. Maybe Im better at detecting the high vibe fruits than I was before and these Spanish oranges are so on point whereas the best cherries Ive had were not yet 10/10. Or could be that the OJ is just the sweetest? Anyway, cheers to y'all, I'm gonna have 2-3 glasses before I brave my first Warsaw run (yes, yes, Im gonna be the best version on myself even without Simon watching over me 😉)
There is nothing constant in the universe. The only constant is that everything changes. In polish we have a saying 'you cannot step into the same river twice'. That was also the concept introduced to me in Vipassana - everything is 'aniche', meaning everything passes. So in turn - dont focus on the pain, it will pass. Don't focus on the fleeting pleasures of this world they shall pass too. Lean into complete acceptance of what is ✨ Coming to Europe I was anticipating to eat my fav temperate fruit on mass - cherries, backed up by blueberries and strawberries. But to my surprise, Ive changed too! I buy my fruits intuitively - I look at them or imagine eating them and if my mouth starts to water, if I get this 'Ive gotta have it' feeling, then I buy them. And here's the thing - no part of me wants any berries when I see them. Its crazy to think that I could loose all interest in a fav fruit just like that. On the flipside - I was never a fan of orange juice. Ever. And now its all I want to have. Maybe Im better at detecting the high vibe fruits than I was before and these Spanish oranges are so on point whereas the best cherries Ive had were not yet 10/10. Or could be that the OJ is just the sweetest? Anyway, cheers to y'all, I'm gonna have 2-3 glasses before I brave my first Warsaw run (yes, yes, Im gonna be the best version on myself even without Simon watching over me 😉)
Today started off terribly but ended beautifully with one of my fabulous friends offering her place to stay at until I'm feeling safer and then we're road tripping her back to Brisbane @qqlisackova you are the best ❤️ it's kind of fucking me over because I was planning on overdosing but NOT overdosing is a much better idea you know? So this is good you know? And my safety is important regardless of how much it feels like the opposite. Eating burritos for dinner and then going to sleep and then tomorrow we're doing craft and then I have my last DBT group for the semester. Freaking out for DBT break is an understatement. I am strong for not overdosing please someone tell me I'm doing the right thing because it feels so wrong.
Today started off terribly but ended beautifully with one of my fabulous friends offering her place to stay at until I'm feeling safer and then we're road tripping her back to Brisbane @qqlisackova you are the best ❤️ it's kind of fucking me over because I was planning on overdosing but NOT overdosing is a much better idea you know? So this is good you know? And my safety is important regardless of how much it feels like the opposite. Eating burritos for dinner and then going to sleep and then tomorrow we're doing craft and then I have my last DBT group for the semester. Freaking out for DBT break is an understatement. I am strong for not overdosing please someone tell me I'm doing the right thing because it feels so wrong.
(les peluches tigres gâchent tout,  je le conçoit 😂 mais elle date de y'a deux ans) :

La réaction de mes amis à été sans appel: "-Pourquoi ne l'as tu pas posté ?". Mais "La vérité pure et simple est rarement pure et jamais simple"  Oscar Wilde. 
Quatre ans après avoir commencer à prendre des photos et deux ans après avoir commencé à accepter de me voir dessus,  je les postes maintenant en 2017. 
Les premiers pas d'acceptation d'un corps et d'un monde qui me dégoutaient sont passés par la photographie pour réapprendre à être apprécié, et je n'étais avant cette année pas prête à entendre les "wa elle poste des photos d'elle est narcissique" et les "ça y est elle prend 3 photo elle s'improvise photographe". En tout cas ici présent une des photos de la première fois où j'ai arrêté le maquillage,  et c'était à l'époque un grand pas. 
N'hésitez pas à me dire ce que vous pensez de ce qui se trouve sur cet insta,  car j'ai aujourd'hui une folle envie de progresser. 
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#photographie #bodyacceptance #acceptation #positivemind #wanttoimprove #pictureoftheday #fairskin #crazyhair #sweetness #edrecovery #frenchgirl #memories #tiptoe #oscarwilde #dance
(les peluches tigres gâchent tout, je le conçoit 😂 mais elle date de y'a deux ans) : La réaction de mes amis à été sans appel: "-Pourquoi ne l'as tu pas posté ?". Mais "La vérité pure et simple est rarement pure et jamais simple" Oscar Wilde. Quatre ans après avoir commencer à prendre des photos et deux ans après avoir commencé à accepter de me voir dessus, je les postes maintenant en 2017. Les premiers pas d'acceptation d'un corps et d'un monde qui me dégoutaient sont passés par la photographie pour réapprendre à être apprécié, et je n'étais avant cette année pas prête à entendre les "wa elle poste des photos d'elle est narcissique" et les "ça y est elle prend 3 photo elle s'improvise photographe". En tout cas ici présent une des photos de la première fois où j'ai arrêté le maquillage, et c'était à l'époque un grand pas. N'hésitez pas à me dire ce que vous pensez de ce qui se trouve sur cet insta, car j'ai aujourd'hui une folle envie de progresser. ________________________________________________________,, #photographie  #bodyacceptance  #acceptation  #positivemind  #wanttoimprove  #pictureoftheday  #fairskin  #crazyhair  #sweetness  #edrecovery  #frenchgirl  #memories  #tiptoe  #oscarwilde  #dance 
Mentally I'm not doing too well but I do try to remain positive! ^-^ I find that smiling really helps. ^.^ I remind myself that I have gained a total of 16.2kg in the past year. I remind myself that I can walk again, eat again, study again. I can enjoy days out with my mum or my friends which I couldn't before. I remind myself that I have managed not to drink vodka for almost 7 months now. I have managed to face and overcome my obstacles sober as opposed to drinking away my issues like I used to. I remind myself that I have wonderful friends like @sorryimsam, @lucyepst and @solostinmymind. I remind myself that I am now living and not just existing. :) #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #fuckana #2fab4ana #edwarrior #edrecovery #countblessingsnotcalories #emo #scene #marmozets #theprettyreckless #slipknot #tonightalive #alltimelow #askingalexandria #ofmiceandmen #adaytoremember #sleepingwithsirens #piercetheveil #fallinginreverse #greenday #mychemicalromance #blackveilbrides #inthismoment #suicidesilence #motionlessinwhite #bringmethehorizon #wearetheincrowd #neckdeep #beartooth
Mentally I'm not doing too well but I do try to remain positive! ^-^ I find that smiling really helps. ^.^ I remind myself that I have gained a total of 16.2kg in the past year. I remind myself that I can walk again, eat again, study again. I can enjoy days out with my mum or my friends which I couldn't before. I remind myself that I have managed not to drink vodka for almost 7 months now. I have managed to face and overcome my obstacles sober as opposed to drinking away my issues like I used to. I remind myself that I have wonderful friends like @sorryimsam, @lucyepst and @solostinmymind. I remind myself that I am now living and not just existing. :) #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #fuckana  #2fab4ana  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #countblessingsnotcalories  #emo  #scene  #marmozets  #theprettyreckless  #slipknot  #tonightalive  #alltimelow  #askingalexandria  #ofmiceandmen  #adaytoremember  #sleepingwithsirens  #piercetheveil  #fallinginreverse  #greenday  #mychemicalromance  #blackveilbrides  #inthismoment  #suicidesilence  #motionlessinwhite  #bringmethehorizon  #wearetheincrowd  #neckdeep  #beartooth 
Who loves 💗macarons especially when they are partially made out of sweet potato? 😉Since we were small we have always absolutely loved to bake creating 👩🏼‍🍳our first batch of cookies with our Mom when we were three. We loved baking huge cakes 🎂 with our friends and even made our own variety of pralines. Since knowing that we can't tolerate gluten and that we are allergic 🤷🏼‍♀️to eggs, milk (therefor also butter) and a lot off other common used baking ingredients we tried finding other ways to bake our favourite desserts. 🙌🏻We now use Apple sauce as a replacement for butter, eggs and milk and finely have found a gluten free flour combination that brings us over the top yummy results. 🙏🏻Many people that meet us and see our creations always ask us how we cope with having so many restrictions. We then always tell them that in our world 🌱we never feel restricted because we have found other ways to get the same results. Just because one way seem to not work out doesn't mean that there aren't different and even more efficient ways to get to your goal. 🌈✨
Thanks for your sweet comments they mean so much to us 😘
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#vegan #love #hclf #twins #edrecovery #delicious #healthy #healthyfood #veganvultures #veganplace #veganzone #worldwideveganfood #veganfoodspot #feedfeed #thrivemags #veganbowls #ahealthynut #bestofvegan #letscookvegan #vegancommunity #buddhabowl #whatveganseat #veganfoodporn #veganfoodshare #foodie #dessert #eat #gloobyfood #foodphotography @thefeedfeed.vegan @a.healthy.nut @letscookvegan @bestofvegan @beautifulcuisines
Who loves 💗macarons especially when they are partially made out of sweet potato? 😉Since we were small we have always absolutely loved to bake creating 👩🏼‍🍳our first batch of cookies with our Mom when we were three. We loved baking huge cakes 🎂 with our friends and even made our own variety of pralines. Since knowing that we can't tolerate gluten and that we are allergic 🤷🏼‍♀️to eggs, milk (therefor also butter) and a lot off other common used baking ingredients we tried finding other ways to bake our favourite desserts. 🙌🏻We now use Apple sauce as a replacement for butter, eggs and milk and finely have found a gluten free flour combination that brings us over the top yummy results. 🙏🏻Many people that meet us and see our creations always ask us how we cope with having so many restrictions. We then always tell them that in our world 🌱we never feel restricted because we have found other ways to get the same results. Just because one way seem to not work out doesn't mean that there aren't different and even more efficient ways to get to your goal. 🌈✨ Thanks for your sweet comments they mean so much to us 😘 . . . . #vegan  #love  #hclf  #twins  #edrecovery  #delicious  #healthy  #healthyfood  #veganvultures  #veganplace  #veganzone  #worldwideveganfood  #veganfoodspot  #feedfeed  #thrivemags  #veganbowls  #ahealthynut  #bestofvegan  #letscookvegan  #vegancommunity  #buddhabowl  #whatveganseat  #veganfoodporn  #veganfoodshare  #foodie  #dessert  #eat  #gloobyfood  #foodphotography  @thefeedfeed.vegan @a.healthy.nut @letscookvegan @bestofvegan @beautifulcuisines
i feel good about all of this except the noodles that i had before i went to sleep... i ate them because i was in so much pain (in my right eye, ear, teeth, neck and head) and i couldn't take any more painkillers. i could have gone to sleep, i was exhausted, but it would have been a tearful night. instead, i gave into my cravings and allowed myself to be comforted by food.
i have chronic pain and i'm allowed no more than 6 doses of my pain relief a day so, especially when i wake up early, this is a problem i run into very frequently.
i wish i knew a way to make myself feel better that didn't involve food. it's not like eating stops the pain but it floods my brain with endorphins, the sensations in my mouth are enough to take me further away from the cage i feel trapped in. it's a huge distraction. anyone who is or has struggled with any kind of mental or physical health condition will know that distractions are like gold dust... anyway, i'm going to try really hard not to beat myself up (figuratively or with my food choices today) about my decision to try and make myself feel better. i'll have breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and desert and try to remind myself that eating is a form of self respect, regardless of what i ate yesterday or how i'm feeling today. 
#edfam #edfamily #anarecovery #edrecovery #chronicpain #trigeminalneuralgia #nervepain #tgn #spoonie #emotionaleating #veganrecovery #nourishnotpunish #whatiate #whatieatinaday #whatveganseat #fulldayofeating
i feel good about all of this except the noodles that i had before i went to sleep... i ate them because i was in so much pain (in my right eye, ear, teeth, neck and head) and i couldn't take any more painkillers. i could have gone to sleep, i was exhausted, but it would have been a tearful night. instead, i gave into my cravings and allowed myself to be comforted by food. i have chronic pain and i'm allowed no more than 6 doses of my pain relief a day so, especially when i wake up early, this is a problem i run into very frequently. i wish i knew a way to make myself feel better that didn't involve food. it's not like eating stops the pain but it floods my brain with endorphins, the sensations in my mouth are enough to take me further away from the cage i feel trapped in. it's a huge distraction. anyone who is or has struggled with any kind of mental or physical health condition will know that distractions are like gold dust... anyway, i'm going to try really hard not to beat myself up (figuratively or with my food choices today) about my decision to try and make myself feel better. i'll have breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and desert and try to remind myself that eating is a form of self respect, regardless of what i ate yesterday or how i'm feeling today. #edfam  #edfamily  #anarecovery  #edrecovery  #chronicpain  #trigeminalneuralgia  #nervepain  #tgn  #spoonie  #emotionaleating  #veganrecovery  #nourishnotpunish  #whatiate  #whatieatinaday  #whatveganseat  #fulldayofeating 
Oh who was a wee daftie and scheduled outpatients and then an important uni meeting for straight after...😶🙈. Hello anxiety this morning! 😅 And so cappuccino for my nerves. Because the caffeine definitely won't make it worse 😂. Waiting for my appointment now then over to the medical school! Have a lovely day everyone 😘
Oh who was a wee daftie and scheduled outpatients and then an important uni meeting for straight after...😶🙈. Hello anxiety this morning! 😅 And so cappuccino for my nerves. Because the caffeine definitely won't make it worse 😂. Waiting for my appointment now then over to the medical school! Have a lovely day everyone 😘
Ice cream for breakfast 🍦
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Yesterday we visited St Tropez market and traditionally we always get an ice cream before returning home. Now I'm not going to pretend it's a super nutritious start to the day, but it's all part of the experience and I absolutely love it. Food is not about being good or bad, healthy or unhealthy it's about putting fuel in the tank and feeding the soul. ✌🏽
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Happy Hump Day 😘
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#icecream #gelato #feedthesoul #intuitiveeating #foodanxiety #edwarrior #edsoldier #edrecovery #recoveryispossible #foodguilt #fitfam #ukfitfam #bbggirls #health #mentalhealth #summerstyle #girl #blonde #cute #me #style #styleblogger #wellness #goodnessguru#
Ice cream for breakfast 🍦 . Yesterday we visited St Tropez market and traditionally we always get an ice cream before returning home. Now I'm not going to pretend it's a super nutritious start to the day, but it's all part of the experience and I absolutely love it. Food is not about being good or bad, healthy or unhealthy it's about putting fuel in the tank and feeding the soul. ✌🏽 . Happy Hump Day 😘 . #icecream  #gelato  #feedthesoul  #intuitiveeating  #foodanxiety  #edwarrior  #edsoldier  #edrecovery  #recoveryispossible  #foodguilt  #fitfam  #ukfitfam  #bbggirls  #health  #mentalhealth  #summerstyle  #girl  #blonde  #cute  #me  #style  #styleblogger  #wellness  #goodnessguru #
Good morning everyone! 
My breakfast was two crisp breads w/ butter, cheese and mettvurst 🍞👍 I have studio turn today, so I finally get to dance!! I've been experiencing some withdrawals from ballet... 😂 
Also waiting the phone call from the realestate firm, so let's keep fingers crossed so that I'd get the keys soon! 🙏

Hoe about you, any plans for today? 😏 
Remember to keep fighting, ILY! 💖

#foodporn #foodspiration #foodblogger #balancednotclean #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattobeatit #eatingdisorder #anorexiaathletica #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edfamily #edsoldier #anawarrior #anafamily #anafighter #realcovery #prorecovery #adultswithed #edcommunity #adultswithed #fuckdietculture #antidiettalk #ananomore #2fab4ana #thrivenotsurvive #beyourownrecoveryhero
Good morning everyone! My breakfast was two crisp breads w/ butter, cheese and mettvurst 🍞👍 I have studio turn today, so I finally get to dance!! I've been experiencing some withdrawals from ballet... 😂 Also waiting the phone call from the realestate firm, so let's keep fingers crossed so that I'd get the keys soon! 🙏 Hoe about you, any plans for today? 😏 Remember to keep fighting, ILY! 💖 #foodporn  #foodspiration  #foodblogger  #balancednotclean  #nourishtoflourish  #nourishnotpunish  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eattobeatit  #eatingdisorder  #anorexiaathletica  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiarecovery  #edfighter  #edfamily  #edsoldier  #anawarrior  #anafamily  #anafighter  #realcovery  #prorecovery  #adultswithed  #edcommunity  #adultswithed  #fuckdietculture  #antidiettalk  #ananomore  #2fab4ana  #thrivenotsurvive  #beyourownrecoveryhero 
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Buongiorno #fitfamily ☀️ da una Cri ufficialmente ammalata il 28 di giugno! 🤒 ma uffaaaa 😤 il bello è che una settimana fa prendevo in giro mio fratello che era super preoccupato di ammalarsi prima del suo ultimo esame (a fine luglio si laurea in ingegneria🎉) a causa dell'aria condizionata troppo forte nella biblioteca dove studia! Attenzione ⚠ ragazzi il karma torna sempre indietro!! Adesso lo dirò a mio fratello e sono sicura che riderà (giustamente) per una settimana!!😂🙃 vabbè, tralasciando le mie sfighe, #colazione con #pancake semplice.. Farina gusto nutchoc e albume. Nel pomeriggio si va in Svizzera 🇨🇭 #fitness #fitnesslover #healtychoices #gymaddict #fitgirl #edrecovery #healtylife #fitfam #buildingmybody #workhard #nopainnogain #teamfascians #loveyourself #fuelyourambition #healtyfood #foodisfuel #edsoldier #healtybreakfast #balanceiskey #fighter #fooddiary #mangiaresano #onlygoodvibes #eatclean #eatmoretobingeless #treeoflife #girlwholift
Buongiorno #fitfamily  ☀️ da una Cri ufficialmente ammalata il 28 di giugno! 🤒 ma uffaaaa 😤 il bello è che una settimana fa prendevo in giro mio fratello che era super preoccupato di ammalarsi prima del suo ultimo esame (a fine luglio si laurea in ingegneria🎉) a causa dell'aria condizionata troppo forte nella biblioteca dove studia! Attenzione ⚠ ragazzi il karma torna sempre indietro!! Adesso lo dirò a mio fratello e sono sicura che riderà (giustamente) per una settimana!!😂🙃 vabbè, tralasciando le mie sfighe, #colazione  con #pancake  semplice.. Farina gusto nutchoc e albume. Nel pomeriggio si va in Svizzera 🇨🇭 #fitness  #fitnesslover  #healtychoices  #gymaddict  #fitgirl  #edrecovery  #healtylife  #fitfam  #buildingmybody  #workhard  #nopainnogain  #teamfascians  #loveyourself  #fuelyourambition  #healtyfood  #foodisfuel  #edsoldier  #healtybreakfast  #balanceiskey  #fighter  #fooddiary  #mangiaresano  #onlygoodvibes  #eatclean  #eatmoretobingeless  #treeoflife  #girlwholift 
Goodmorning loves!❤️ Hope you had a good night sleep☺️ Have a nice day and stay strong💪😘
Goodmorning loves!❤️ Hope you had a good night sleep☺️ Have a nice day and stay strong💪😘
Dinner tonight was a chicken patty with sweet potato and veggies ❤️ I absolutely love sweet potato but i don't know if its better for you than regular potato so I always have that thought in the back of my mind but seeing as I enjoy it so much I shouldn't worry right?  #anorexiarecovery #recoveryispossible #anorexiafighter #roadtorecovery #realrecovery #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #edwarrior
Holà amigos.  Didn't get much sleep, but the mood is stable so far. But maybe this is due to me smoking the rest of the spliff 🙃 so anyway.... obviously I have not managed to stay completely sober, especially after the clinic cancelled. But I'm doing ok. I'm in that state where I pretend that I'm ok on days, when I'm not. Haha but only so I manage to force myself to do all the things. I feel better when I'm busy. Today I'm meeting a friend, whom I haven't seen since December!😱🙈 I completely stopped the contact to her bc of me being weird and scared and guilty🙃 but I'm actually quite proud of myself I pushed all those feelings alway, and called her again.. haha 7 months later 😂🙃🙈 hope you all have a good start in the day 🖖🏻. #bpd #ed #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anawarrior  #prorecovery #adultswitheds #fightagainstana #magersucht #essstörung #anorexia #anorexianervosa #atypicalanorexia #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #depression #moodswing  #scars #svv #ssv #borderline #weed #speed #junkfree #sober #recoveryisworthit #bps #recovery #bpdrecovery #fooddiary
Holà amigos. Didn't get much sleep, but the mood is stable so far. But maybe this is due to me smoking the rest of the spliff 🙃 so anyway.... obviously I have not managed to stay completely sober, especially after the clinic cancelled. But I'm doing ok. I'm in that state where I pretend that I'm ok on days, when I'm not. Haha but only so I manage to force myself to do all the things. I feel better when I'm busy. Today I'm meeting a friend, whom I haven't seen since December!😱🙈 I completely stopped the contact to her bc of me being weird and scared and guilty🙃 but I'm actually quite proud of myself I pushed all those feelings alway, and called her again.. haha 7 months later 😂🙃🙈 hope you all have a good start in the day 🖖🏻. #bpd  #ed  #edrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #anawarrior  #prorecovery  #adultswitheds  #fightagainstana  #magersucht  #essstörung  #anorexia  #anorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexia  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #borderline  #depression  #moodswing  #scars  #svv  #ssv  #borderline  #weed  #speed  #junkfree  #sober  #recoveryisworthit  #bps  #recovery  #bpdrecovery  #fooddiary 
Breakfast: peach & maracuja soy yogurt with granola, raisins and cashew nuts and mango juice
Snack: instant berry oatmeal with macha powder and 4 chocolate cookies 
Actually I ate the porridge even before the breakfast, because I woke up really early and I was super hungry. I have a timetable for my meals and breakfast is at 10 as I wake up at 9, so I've decided to have a pre-breakfast snack)
#edrecovery #tryingtorecover
Breakfast: peach & maracuja soy yogurt with granola, raisins and cashew nuts and mango juice Snack: instant berry oatmeal with macha powder and 4 chocolate cookies Actually I ate the porridge even before the breakfast, because I woke up really early and I was super hungry. I have a timetable for my meals and breakfast is at 10 as I wake up at 9, so I've decided to have a pre-breakfast snack) #edrecovery  #tryingtorecover 
Yes I'm eating a brownie and a hot chocolate at 09:15 bite me 😂 I've been here since 05:30! 😅 Overnight oats were fabbo and now snacking on my break! 💃🏼 The first three hours have flown by so it's all good! Coping well with the challenges of a new section and settling into it 💪🏻Quite like these early shifts actually as they fly by! Bring on 3pm! 💃🏼 Have a fab day peeps! -
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-#anorexia #recovery #food #fearfood #foodisfuel #balancednotclean #vsco #protein #anorexiarecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #ed #edwarrior #edsoldier #strongnotskinny #boobsoverbones #coffee #snack #recovery #realrecovery #realcovery #healthy #gains #girlgains #protein #chocolate #brownie #hotchocolate
Yes I'm eating a brownie and a hot chocolate at 09:15 bite me 😂 I've been here since 05:30! 😅 Overnight oats were fabbo and now snacking on my break! 💃🏼 The first three hours have flown by so it's all good! Coping well with the challenges of a new section and settling into it 💪🏻Quite like these early shifts actually as they fly by! Bring on 3pm! 💃🏼 Have a fab day peeps! - - - - - - - - - -#anorexia  #recovery  #food  #fearfood  #foodisfuel  #balancednotclean  #vsco  #protein  #anorexiarecovery  #bulimia  #bulimiarecovery  #edrecovery  #ed  #edwarrior  #edsoldier  #strongnotskinny  #boobsoverbones  #coffee  #snack  #recovery  #realrecovery  #realcovery  #healthy  #gains  #girlgains  #protein  #chocolate  #brownie  #hotchocolate 
Day 59 - Yesterday is one of those days that makes me question if I have an eating disorder at all. I didn't feel lonely. I worked. I exercised. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied. I ate whatever I wanted, vegetables, a couple of gummies bears and two beers in the evening with my sister. I've been having more of these days lately. Plus I did my monthly eating disorder symptoms questionnaire this morning and I continue to show slight improvements in the way I think which impacts the way I act. Really happy. Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!
Day 59 - Yesterday is one of those days that makes me question if I have an eating disorder at all. I didn't feel lonely. I worked. I exercised. I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied. I ate whatever I wanted, vegetables, a couple of gummies bears and two beers in the evening with my sister. I've been having more of these days lately. Plus I did my monthly eating disorder symptoms questionnaire this morning and I continue to show slight improvements in the way I think which impacts the way I act. Really happy. Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!
Dinner was too scary. Too many things on one plate that I couldn't handle. I opted for the meal exchange instead. I'm supposed to have 2 ensures for a main but they only gave me 1. .....im just not going to say anything. Hopefully the staff complete lack of training and stupidity will continue throughout the evening. They don't sit with us for meals, they don't watch us and don't write down what we do or do not eat. I'm sick of their inconsistency. Do your Fucking job for fucks sake. All they care about is when their break is and each other. Bullshit. Day staff are brilliant, strict and are consistent.  It's like their IQ level decreases the later the shift. S2g it makes me angry.
Dinner was too scary. Too many things on one plate that I couldn't handle. I opted for the meal exchange instead. I'm supposed to have 2 ensures for a main but they only gave me 1. .....im just not going to say anything. Hopefully the staff complete lack of training and stupidity will continue throughout the evening. They don't sit with us for meals, they don't watch us and don't write down what we do or do not eat. I'm sick of their inconsistency. Do your Fucking job for fucks sake. All they care about is when their break is and each other. Bullshit. Day staff are brilliant, strict and are consistent. It's like their IQ level decreases the later the shift. S2g it makes me angry.
❣#20170628 ❣
Hatte eine relativ angenehme Nacht, habe aber nur Mist geträumt 😡
Schiebe grade ein bisschen Panik wegen meiner Nase, könnte ja sein, dass sich was verschoben hat 😂
Morgen sind auch schon die Referate dran, was mich sehr nervös macht! Ich werde sie heutr noch ein paar Mal üben.. danach heißt es nur noch Augen zu und durch! 💯
Eventuell bekomme ich es hin ein Bild für euch davon zu bekommen, wie ich mit hochrotem Kopf vor einer Klasse von 26 Berufsschülern stehe 😂😂👌
Heute steht für mich also nur sprechen üben, ein leichtes Bauchtraining #abs und dehnen auf dem Plan.
➡Was habt ihr für heute geplant?
➡habt ihr Tippds gegen Angst vor Referaten oder seid ihr da total unerschrocken? Was macht ihr um nicht die Nerven zu verlieren, #fitfam ?
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#gesundessen #gesundleben #0711 #edrecovery #strongnotskinny #selca #pumpen #gainingweightiscool #kraftsport #team3sixty #krafttraining #fitnessmodel #fitnessjourney #athlete #weighttraining #shelifts #bikinibody #bodybuilding #selfacceptance #leanbulk #다이어트 #운동하는여자 #나바 #헬스 #셀스타그램
#20170628  ❣ Hatte eine relativ angenehme Nacht, habe aber nur Mist geträumt 😡 Schiebe grade ein bisschen Panik wegen meiner Nase, könnte ja sein, dass sich was verschoben hat 😂 Morgen sind auch schon die Referate dran, was mich sehr nervös macht! Ich werde sie heutr noch ein paar Mal üben.. danach heißt es nur noch Augen zu und durch! 💯 Eventuell bekomme ich es hin ein Bild für euch davon zu bekommen, wie ich mit hochrotem Kopf vor einer Klasse von 26 Berufsschülern stehe 😂😂👌 Heute steht für mich also nur sprechen üben, ein leichtes Bauchtraining #abs  und dehnen auf dem Plan. ➡Was habt ihr für heute geplant? ➡habt ihr Tippds gegen Angst vor Referaten oder seid ihr da total unerschrocken? Was macht ihr um nicht die Nerven zu verlieren, #fitfam  ? . . . #gesundessen  #gesundleben  #0711  #edrecovery  #strongnotskinny  #selca  #pumpen  #gainingweightiscool  #kraftsport  #team3sixty  #krafttraining  #fitnessmodel  #fitnessjourney  #athlete  #weighttraining  #shelifts  #bikinibody  #bodybuilding  #selfacceptance  #leanbulk  #다이어트  #운동하는여자  #나바  #헬스  #셀스타그램 
Now watch me whip mother fuckers!
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STORY TIME!!!
Yesterday I went to the GP and he weighed me , obs and bloods. My weight had gone down a bit when I was supposed to gain despite eating more however he was happy to let me go as the physical observations and bloods were all good... However bloody CAMHS found out I lost and said to my parents they could either present me to ED at FSH and volunteer me IP or I would be sectioned and taken against my will. I was listening on the line while my parents were talking (well close to shouting) at the care coordinator person saying about how the system had almost killed me twice and and traumatised me bla bla bla. So after a lot of arguing (from them not me for once!) CAMHS finally agreed to let me go to ED at St. John of god. •
Now if you read this you will see that the GP had cleared me and so a team of phycologists with very little medical knowledge and no eating disorder knowledge contradicted a medical professional -- just saying
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So me and mum went to ED wetting ourselves (srsly I peed like 10 times in the three hours we were there) and everything worked out amazing! My obs , BSL and ECG were all on point and the nurses were just amazing and so lovely I honestly just wanted to hug them all 🤗
They didn't know either why CAMHS sent me there and disregarded the GP's advice but there you go.
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So that's why I put that story up saying sorry because I thought I was a failure and was going IP and that everything was going to go wrong but I'm SO HAPPY NOW! Ready to fucking squash Ed and rip his insides out! Seriously though I am so determined to beat this and get one with life because this is not a life!
Now watch me whip mother fuckers! • STORY TIME!!! Yesterday I went to the GP and he weighed me , obs and bloods. My weight had gone down a bit when I was supposed to gain despite eating more however he was happy to let me go as the physical observations and bloods were all good... However bloody CAMHS found out I lost and said to my parents they could either present me to ED at FSH and volunteer me IP or I would be sectioned and taken against my will. I was listening on the line while my parents were talking (well close to shouting) at the care coordinator person saying about how the system had almost killed me twice and and traumatised me bla bla bla. So after a lot of arguing (from them not me for once!) CAMHS finally agreed to let me go to ED at St. John of god. • Now if you read this you will see that the GP had cleared me and so a team of phycologists with very little medical knowledge and no eating disorder knowledge contradicted a medical professional -- just saying • So me and mum went to ED wetting ourselves (srsly I peed like 10 times in the three hours we were there) and everything worked out amazing! My obs , BSL and ECG were all on point and the nurses were just amazing and so lovely I honestly just wanted to hug them all 🤗 They didn't know either why CAMHS sent me there and disregarded the GP's advice but there you go. • So that's why I put that story up saying sorry because I thought I was a failure and was going IP and that everything was going to go wrong but I'm SO HAPPY NOW! Ready to fucking squash Ed and rip his insides out! Seriously though I am so determined to beat this and get one with life because this is not a life!
Dinner from the other day. 
I honestly don't know how to feel at the moment - I weighed myself this morning and let's just say that anorexia is very very happy, but Anna feels like she's losing herself more and more again. I'm seeing my GP again today and one option is to have a super honest conversation with her, let her weigh me and go for bloods. But a huge part of me doesn't want that. But I also want to keep my job and to be allowed to drive still and there are a lot of things happening that if I don't intervene now, will jeopardise that completely! Maybe the conversation with her today would be best. Scary, but for the best! 😔🌟 #anorexia #ednos #anorexianervosa #atypicalanorexia #depression #anxiety #bpd #recovery #recover #health #strongnotskinny #operationnotgiveafuck #recoveryqueen #anorexiarecovery #balancednotclean #recoveryisworthit #anawho #ed #edrecovery #realrecovery #prorecovery
Dinner from the other day. I honestly don't know how to feel at the moment - I weighed myself this morning and let's just say that anorexia is very very happy, but Anna feels like she's losing herself more and more again. I'm seeing my GP again today and one option is to have a super honest conversation with her, let her weigh me and go for bloods. But a huge part of me doesn't want that. But I also want to keep my job and to be allowed to drive still and there are a lot of things happening that if I don't intervene now, will jeopardise that completely! Maybe the conversation with her today would be best. Scary, but for the best! 😔🌟 #anorexia  #ednos  #anorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexia  #depression  #anxiety  #bpd  #recovery  #recover  #health  #strongnotskinny  #operationnotgiveafuck  #recoveryqueen  #anorexiarecovery  #balancednotclean  #recoveryisworthit  #anawho  #ed  #edrecovery  #realrecovery  #prorecovery 
Kocham ryneczki. Można na nich kupić wszystko, w dodatku prosto z ogródka.  Kupiłam bób, który jadłam ostatnio jak miałam 8 lat... ktoś wie jak go dobrze zrobić? 😂
#bingeating #eatingdisorder #bingeatingdisorder #ed #polishgirl #recovery #bedrecovery #poland #edfamily #edrecovery #kompulsy #kompulsywneobjadanie #kompulsywne #kompulsywnejedzenie #strawberry #bób #czeresnie #szczypior #cebula #ziemniaki #potato #onion #truskawka #pomidor #tomato #bio #eco #natural
Kocham ryneczki. Można na nich kupić wszystko, w dodatku prosto z ogródka. Kupiłam bób, który jadłam ostatnio jak miałam 8 lat... ktoś wie jak go dobrze zrobić? 😂 #bingeating  #eatingdisorder  #bingeatingdisorder  #ed  #polishgirl  #recovery  #bedrecovery  #poland  #edfamily  #edrecovery  #kompulsy  #kompulsywneobjadanie  #kompulsywne  #kompulsywnejedzenie  #strawberry  #bób  #czeresnie  #szczypior  #cebula  #ziemniaki  #potato  #onion  #truskawka  #pomidor  #tomato  #bio  #eco  #natural 
Puhlease  be goodnight...
Puhlease be goodnight...
I had hot chocolate again for the first time in ages last night and it was lushhhh!! 😍🍫💪🏻
Off to therapy and weigh in this morning which I'm soooo looking forward to 🙃😂 hope you all have a good day 😊💞
I had hot chocolate again for the first time in ages last night and it was lushhhh!! 😍🍫💪🏻 Off to therapy and weigh in this morning which I'm soooo looking forward to 🙃😂 hope you all have a good day 😊💞
Morning 👋🏻 I have been struggling to get motivated to run 🏃 I kept putting myself down but I decided to try and push those thoughts aside and go 🏃‍♀️I enjoyed it so much 😊 I ran MY FIRST 10 MILES but I was singing my songs out loud 🎼and did not even notice the how far I had gone 😳 I have never ever believed I could do it 🙅🏼But just like recovery, running is a mental game too ☺️ If you believe in yourself, remind yourself the core reasons your doing it  and try to enjoy it then the actual run is so much easier 💪🏼 ⠀⠀⠀
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🔸Beetroot and Raspberry Oats🔸
Morning 👋🏻 I have been struggling to get motivated to run 🏃 I kept putting myself down but I decided to try and push those thoughts aside and go 🏃‍♀️I enjoyed it so much 😊 I ran MY FIRST 10 MILES but I was singing my songs out loud 🎼and did not even notice the how far I had gone 😳 I have never ever believed I could do it 🙅🏼But just like recovery, running is a mental game too ☺️ If you believe in yourself, remind yourself the core reasons your doing it and try to enjoy it then the actual run is so much easier 💪🏼 ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🔸Beetroot and Raspberry Oats🔸
I HAVE SOME VERY BIG NEWS...I am with a child 😱 His name is Percival and he was conceived after dinner, and the father was...FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD ❤💕💞 I am a proud momma 😂
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For real though, having a food baby is N-O-R-M-A-L. It doesn't mean you ate too much and it doesn't mean you have to restrict tomorrow to make up for it. It happens to everyone and the only reason you never see it is because it's considered 'unflattering' but it's just your body's way of digesting nutrients! I mean, where'd you expect all that food to go? ------------------------
Remember that full does not equal fat. If it did, then how come we wake up the next morning looking normal again? Bloating is temporary and your body's just doing what it's gotta do to stay healthy 💪 In fact, this baby's gestation period is only a few hours and then it's gone (until next time)👶So embrace it while it lasts 😘 It's just a sign that you are a beautiful nourished bean and that is nothing to be ashamed of 🌿
I HAVE SOME VERY BIG NEWS...I am with a child 😱 His name is Percival and he was conceived after dinner, and the father was...FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD ❤💕💞 I am a proud momma 😂 ------------------------ For real though, having a food baby is N-O-R-M-A-L. It doesn't mean you ate too much and it doesn't mean you have to restrict tomorrow to make up for it. It happens to everyone and the only reason you never see it is because it's considered 'unflattering' but it's just your body's way of digesting nutrients! I mean, where'd you expect all that food to go? ------------------------ Remember that full does not equal fat. If it did, then how come we wake up the next morning looking normal again? Bloating is temporary and your body's just doing what it's gotta do to stay healthy 💪 In fact, this baby's gestation period is only a few hours and then it's gone (until next time)👶So embrace it while it lasts 😘 It's just a sign that you are a beautiful nourished bean and that is nothing to be ashamed of 🌿
🇬🇧 you can NEVER go wrong with a full english! 🇬🇧 sourdough, baked beans, tomato, bacon, sausage, hash brown & mushroooooms 🍄🐷🥓🍅 i literally can't explain how good this was, especially the thick sourdough bread 😍 always a winner! (even if it does cause major bloating it's definitely worth it lol) 🙌🏼 • i hope everyone is having a fab week so far, i certainly am! received such good news yesterday 🙈💜
🇬🇧 you can NEVER go wrong with a full english! 🇬🇧 sourdough, baked beans, tomato, bacon, sausage, hash brown & mushroooooms 🍄🐷🥓🍅 i literally can't explain how good this was, especially the thick sourdough bread 😍 always a winner! (even if it does cause major bloating it's definitely worth it lol) 🙌🏼 • i hope everyone is having a fab week so far, i certainly am! received such good news yesterday 🙈💜
Breakfast☺
Breakfast☺
overnight oats for bfast before therapy 💤
overnight oats for bfast before therapy 💤
Buongiorno mie care🎀
Dormito bene? Io molto😌. Vi scrivo un po' di fretta⚡️ perché stanno per arrivare i miei amici in piscina...
Stamattina ero molto indecisa su cosa prendere per colazione, perché avevo voglia di diverse cose. La decisione? La vedete in foto👆🏻: assecondare TUTTE le mie voglie, preparando questo banchetto🍴, composto da: •Vitasnella🇬🇷 alla vaniglia🌼
•Due foglioline misura☘️
•Tre millefiori🍯
•20 grammi di cereali pan di stelle🌟 (Quelle stellinee🤤🤤🤤)
•Quattro albicocche🍑
Mio Dio, ho ADORATO questa breakyy😍😋. Ammetto di essere riuscita a prendere così tante cose diverse solo perché quello  yogurt è poco calorico, ma EHI!🤚🏻 L'importante è essermi ascoltata al 100%, no⁉️. Le stelline dei cereali nello yogurt alla vaniglia sono STRA-buone comunque😍. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ora, come vi dicevo, vado a preparami👙👒 perché stanno per arrivare i miei amici👫👭👬, e passeremo la giornata nella mia piscina condominiale⛱. Pranzeremo tutti assieme, andando a prendere un panino🍔 dal panificio, quindi non credo che ci sentiremo per pranzo. 
Dovete scusarmi, ma capirete che fotografare un semplice panino non è molto normale😂. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Voi cosa farete oggi? Con cosa avete iniziato questa mattina?🔋🥐
Vi auguro una buona giornata⛱♥️.
Buongiorno mie care🎀 Dormito bene? Io molto😌. Vi scrivo un po' di fretta⚡️ perché stanno per arrivare i miei amici in piscina... Stamattina ero molto indecisa su cosa prendere per colazione, perché avevo voglia di diverse cose. La decisione? La vedete in foto👆🏻: assecondare TUTTE le mie voglie, preparando questo banchetto🍴, composto da: •Vitasnella🇬🇷 alla vaniglia🌼 •Due foglioline misura☘️ •Tre millefiori🍯 •20 grammi di cereali pan di stelle🌟 (Quelle stellinee🤤🤤🤤) •Quattro albicocche🍑 Mio Dio, ho ADORATO questa breakyy😍😋. Ammetto di essere riuscita a prendere così tante cose diverse solo perché quello yogurt è poco calorico, ma EHI!🤚🏻 L'importante è essermi ascoltata al 100%, no⁉️. Le stelline dei cereali nello yogurt alla vaniglia sono STRA-buone comunque😍. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ora, come vi dicevo, vado a preparami👙👒 perché stanno per arrivare i miei amici👫👭👬, e passeremo la giornata nella mia piscina condominiale⛱. Pranzeremo tutti assieme, andando a prendere un panino🍔 dal panificio, quindi non credo che ci sentiremo per pranzo. Dovete scusarmi, ma capirete che fotografare un semplice panino non è molto normale😂. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Voi cosa farete oggi? Con cosa avete iniziato questa mattina?🔋🥐 Vi auguro una buona giornata⛱♥️.
dont waste your time 😏
all you have is now
So eat those damn pancakes 🙌🏻 [only if theyre veg tho 😂🌱]
Downed in @pureharvest coco2 aka healthy Nutella 🙌🏻😏+ 🍓+ buckinis + love👅
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#realfood #loveyourbody #cleaneats #foodie #healthyhabits #wholefoods #healthy #cleaneating #waffles #fuelyourbody #foodisfuel #eattogrow #healthyeats #healthylifestyle #eathealthy  #EDwarriors  #balancednotclean #strongnotskinny #plantbased #nourishyourbody #eatforabs #eatrightnotless #eatrealfood #eatyourgreens
#veganisim #nutrition #crueltyfree #veganfoodie #detox #meatfree
dont waste your time 😏 all you have is now So eat those damn pancakes 🙌🏻 [only if theyre veg tho 😂🌱] Downed in @pureharvest coco2 aka healthy Nutella 🙌🏻😏+ 🍓+ buckinis + love👅 . . . . #realfood  #loveyourbody  #cleaneats  #foodie  #healthyhabits  #wholefoods  #healthy  #cleaneating  #waffles  #fuelyourbody  #foodisfuel  #eattogrow  #healthyeats  #healthylifestyle  #eathealthy  #EDwarriors  #balancednotclean  #strongnotskinny  #plantbased  #nourishyourbody  #eatforabs  #eatrightnotless  #eatrealfood  #eatyourgreens  #veganisim  #nutrition  #crueltyfree  #veganfoodie  #detox  #meatfree 
Breakfast: lol you cant really see but i had a box of rice krispies with almond milk and an apple😍🍏
#ed #edfighter #edrecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
My lunch. Tofu and mushroom clay pot 🌱✌️
My lunch. Tofu and mushroom clay pot 🌱✌️
Thema ACHTSAMKEIT!! Eigentlich sollten wir doch viel achtsamer mit uns sein, wir hören viel zu selten auf unseren Körper und quälen ihn mit Dingen, wovon wir im Endeffekt nur Schaden von nehmen.
Wenn man Hunger hat sollte man Essen und nicht auf den Teufel auf der Schulter hören und hungern, weil sich das schlechte Gewissen meldet. Wenn man geplante Tage hat an denen man Sport macht und sich nicht entsprechend fit fühlt , dann sollte man sich ausruhen und nicht gegen den Körper arbeiten. Man muss auch nicht den ganzen Tag etwas leisten, es ist okay wenn man mal einen Powernap macht und sich ausruht, dadurch wird man nicht zu einem schlechteren Menschen! Nur wer auf seinen Körper hört und achtet, findet Balance und wird auch letzten Endes glücklich !
Also hört auf eure Körpersignale, der Körper weiß was uns gut tut❤️ Wer nascht auch so gerne Kuchenteig?🙈 #genuss #kuchenbacken #kuchenteig #yummy #delicious #bakery #muffins #foodstagram #foodblogger #anorexia #anafighter #anorexianervosa #anorexiawarrior #anorexiarecovery #recovery #recoveryisworthit #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingforabs #eatingforhealth #eatingforpregnancy #edfam #anafam #anafooddiary #pursuehappiness #achtsamkeit #körpergefühl #wortzummittwoch
Thema ACHTSAMKEIT!! Eigentlich sollten wir doch viel achtsamer mit uns sein, wir hören viel zu selten auf unseren Körper und quälen ihn mit Dingen, wovon wir im Endeffekt nur Schaden von nehmen. Wenn man Hunger hat sollte man Essen und nicht auf den Teufel auf der Schulter hören und hungern, weil sich das schlechte Gewissen meldet. Wenn man geplante Tage hat an denen man Sport macht und sich nicht entsprechend fit fühlt , dann sollte man sich ausruhen und nicht gegen den Körper arbeiten. Man muss auch nicht den ganzen Tag etwas leisten, es ist okay wenn man mal einen Powernap macht und sich ausruht, dadurch wird man nicht zu einem schlechteren Menschen! Nur wer auf seinen Körper hört und achtet, findet Balance und wird auch letzten Endes glücklich ! Also hört auf eure Körpersignale, der Körper weiß was uns gut tut❤️ Wer nascht auch so gerne Kuchenteig?🙈 #genuss  #kuchenbacken  #kuchenteig  #yummy  #delicious  #bakery  #muffins  #foodstagram  #foodblogger  #anorexia  #anafighter  #anorexianervosa  #anorexiawarrior  #anorexiarecovery  #recovery  #recoveryisworthit  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingforabs  #eatingforhealth  #eatingforpregnancy  #edfam  #anafam  #anafooddiary  #pursuehappiness  #achtsamkeit  #körpergefühl  #wortzummittwoch 
got home from work and immediately face planted into a massive bowl of couscous and pumpkin salad. I feel so inadequate at work; I know I'm new and inexperienced but I feel like my boss doesn't really like me and gets annoyed when I mess things up, and I was hired around the same time as another new girl and I notice she's been given way more shifts each week than me so I feel like I'm probably useless compared to her and she's picked thing up way faster than me and aaa
got home from work and immediately face planted into a massive bowl of couscous and pumpkin salad. I feel so inadequate at work; I know I'm new and inexperienced but I feel like my boss doesn't really like me and gets annoyed when I mess things up, and I was hired around the same time as another new girl and I notice she's been given way more shifts each week than me so I feel like I'm probably useless compared to her and she's picked thing up way faster than me and aaa
Romans 12:2 "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind". It’s hard for me to post the photo from 07, a very dark time in mylife. 23, (the heaviest I weighed & the most spiritually broken I had ever been from a poor life decision). I was hiding the battle of 2 illnesses; severe depression & an eating disorder (Bulimia Nervosa). I remember some days were impossible to fake a smile (evident in this photo). Tears burning down my face, soul crying for help. Somehow (it still puzzles me as to how) I managed to get up every morning. During that time, I completed my master’s degree, worked full-time abroad in the USA & still was training at an Elite level for tennis & running. However, no one had any idea of what I was going through, only those close to me. I couldn’t continue any longer. I had to seek medical/clinical treatment. This was a saving grace. During that time I also became closer to Christ & his incredible word. However things didn't magically just change. It didn’t happen quickly, there were many yrs of struggles, ups/downs/mistakes/relapses. I unfortunately relapsed back in 2015, but was conscientious to get back to treatment immediately. Today, I could never project a picture perfect person. Rather, I am the one who continues to commit to each day, to be a better, healthier & happier person from the one I was 10 yrs ago. I understand & accept that there will be many ups & downs in life. Its constant work, don’t let anyone fool you. I am continually working on feeding my mind, body, soul & spirit. The photo from last month represents a genuine smile. A smile of hope, the path of healing & being thankful to God. Even though I was an elite athlete 10 yrs ago, I would have never had the confidence to do what I do today. The confidence of being transparent with my struggles & even entering myself into a covermodel competition @oxygenmagau 
@lindyolsen @jamieeasonmiddleton 
Healing takes time. It’s a journey that has no timeframe. #romans12 #run #training #healing #exercise #fitness #fitnessmotivation #fitnessjourney #fitnesslifestyle #instafitness #igfitness #instagramfitness #fitnessgoals #fit #fitfam #fitlife #getfit #igfit #gettingfit #fitspo
Romans 12:2 "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind". It’s hard for me to post the photo from 07, a very dark time in mylife. 23, (the heaviest I weighed & the most spiritually broken I had ever been from a poor life decision). I was hiding the battle of 2 illnesses; severe depression & an eating disorder (Bulimia Nervosa). I remember some days were impossible to fake a smile (evident in this photo). Tears burning down my face, soul crying for help. Somehow (it still puzzles me as to how) I managed to get up every morning. During that time, I completed my master’s degree, worked full-time abroad in the USA & still was training at an Elite level for tennis & running. However, no one had any idea of what I was going through, only those close to me. I couldn’t continue any longer. I had to seek medical/clinical treatment. This was a saving grace. During that time I also became closer to Christ & his incredible word. However things didn't magically just change. It didn’t happen quickly, there were many yrs of struggles, ups/downs/mistakes/relapses. I unfortunately relapsed back in 2015, but was conscientious to get back to treatment immediately. Today, I could never project a picture perfect person. Rather, I am the one who continues to commit to each day, to be a better, healthier & happier person from the one I was 10 yrs ago. I understand & accept that there will be many ups & downs in life. Its constant work, don’t let anyone fool you. I am continually working on feeding my mind, body, soul & spirit. The photo from last month represents a genuine smile. A smile of hope, the path of healing & being thankful to God. Even though I was an elite athlete 10 yrs ago, I would have never had the confidence to do what I do today. The confidence of being transparent with my struggles & even entering myself into a covermodel competition @oxygenmagau @lindyolsen @jamieeasonmiddleton Healing takes time. It’s a journey that has no timeframe. #romans12  #run  #training  #healing  #exercise  #fitness  #fitnessmotivation  #fitnessjourney  #fitnesslifestyle  #instafitness  #igfitness  #instagramfitness  #fitnessgoals  #fit  #fitfam  #fitlife  #getfit  #igfit  #gettingfit  #fitspo 
@mornflake Oats, Soya Milk, @scimx Strawberry Powder & berries topped with r/s Jam! #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderecovery #edrecovery #recovery #strongnotskinny #healthoverbones #foodisfuel #foodblogger #breakfast #proats #protein #oats #balancednotclean
생수기 물통 번쩍 들어 갈 때마다 남자 직원들 놀란다ㅎㅎ 가벼운데...
생수기 물통 번쩍 들어 갈 때마다 남자 직원들 놀란다ㅎㅎ 가벼운데...
#RefeedingSyndrome is a dangerous side effect of recovering from an eating disorder ⚠️🚨 which NOT many people know about! I'd never thought that when I was suddenly started eating, after years of starvation, that my body would try to kill me 😱❌ I mean I thought it would be thankful it was suddenly receiving nutrients! But the body is more complex than that and rapidly introducing a larger intake can be fatal.
The body acts to remain in homeostasis, trying to maintain its internal environment within very narrow limits 🙌🏻 Starvation causes it to adjustment functions in order to account for the decreased energy intake. This includes changing the main energy source, reducing red blood cell production and suppressing insulin release. Electrolytes levels also deplete 📉 The body can still function in this state, however its in "survival mode" and under constant strain 💪🏻
Refeeding is the process of restoring nutrients to the body after a period of malnutrition, but if done without proper medical supervision the body basically fights against the sudden change to its environment 👊🏻💥 During refeeding, insulin secretion resumes and requires electrolytes such as magnesium, phosphate and potassium which are already in low levels. The use up of these minerals leads to cellular dysfunction and can cause inadequate oxygen supply to tissue and organs 💔 Resulting symptoms are fluid retention 💦 electrolyte disturbances, hypoglycaemia and hypermetabolism 🔥 If unmonitored, it can further lead to cardiac arrhythmia, convulsions, coma and cardiac failure. I myself had several hypoglycaemic episodes where I passed out due to extremely low blood pressure, ending up in ICU. 
The beginning of refeeding syndrome can be seen through pitting edema in the ankles, lower limbs or back (bottom left), low blood pressure and blood sugar, thiamine (B1) and electrolyte deficiencies, general weakness and fatigue. It's important to be aware of the severe consequences that come with refeeding after starvation, especially if you decide to begin recovery independently! If you have any of these symptoms whilst in early stages of refeeding please go to your doctor! 👩🏼‍⚕️✔️ Stay safe xxx
#RefeedingSyndrome  is a dangerous side effect of recovering from an eating disorder ⚠️🚨 which NOT many people know about! I'd never thought that when I was suddenly started eating, after years of starvation, that my body would try to kill me 😱❌ I mean I thought it would be thankful it was suddenly receiving nutrients! But the body is more complex than that and rapidly introducing a larger intake can be fatal. The body acts to remain in homeostasis, trying to maintain its internal environment within very narrow limits 🙌🏻 Starvation causes it to adjustment functions in order to account for the decreased energy intake. This includes changing the main energy source, reducing red blood cell production and suppressing insulin release. Electrolytes levels also deplete 📉 The body can still function in this state, however its in "survival mode" and under constant strain 💪🏻 Refeeding is the process of restoring nutrients to the body after a period of malnutrition, but if done without proper medical supervision the body basically fights against the sudden change to its environment 👊🏻💥 During refeeding, insulin secretion resumes and requires electrolytes such as magnesium, phosphate and potassium which are already in low levels. The use up of these minerals leads to cellular dysfunction and can cause inadequate oxygen supply to tissue and organs 💔 Resulting symptoms are fluid retention 💦 electrolyte disturbances, hypoglycaemia and hypermetabolism 🔥 If unmonitored, it can further lead to cardiac arrhythmia, convulsions, coma and cardiac failure. I myself had several hypoglycaemic episodes where I passed out due to extremely low blood pressure, ending up in ICU. The beginning of refeeding syndrome can be seen through pitting edema in the ankles, lower limbs or back (bottom left), low blood pressure and blood sugar, thiamine (B1) and electrolyte deficiencies, general weakness and fatigue. It's important to be aware of the severe consequences that come with refeeding after starvation, especially if you decide to begin recovery independently! If you have any of these symptoms whilst in early stages of refeeding please go to your doctor! 👩🏼‍⚕️✔️ Stay safe xxx
Dinner tonight was a big portion of beef casserole, brown rice with cayenne pepper and broccoli😋🍚🍗🌶😋 I served it myself 😉this was so good especially because it was made by my mum! I hope your all well and having a lovely day ❤️️❤️
Dinner tonight was a big portion of beef casserole, brown rice with cayenne pepper and broccoli😋🍚🍗🌶😋 I served it myself 😉this was so good especially because it was made by my mum! I hope your all well and having a lovely day ❤️️❤️
Coucou ☺ !!! Alors la nuit a été bonne ? 
Moi ça a été, 7h30 réveil pour la prise de sang 💉. 8h30 : Petit Déjeuner. 
Je vous poste mon petit dej' pour la première fois, bon je vous avoue qu'avant l'hospitalisation j'avais complètement réduit mon petit dej, je ne prennais plus qu'un thé et une pomme ... Pendant mes premiers jours d'hospitalisation, je ne vous les postai pas car ils etaient identiques c'était : 1 Thé, 1 Biscotte et 1 fruit (en général une pomme mais des fois il n'y en avait plus, donc c'était 1 poire ou une Orange pour remplacer) . Mais depuis hier matin, pour AUGMENTER LES APPORTS 💪 avec la diététicienne je voulais rajouter un yaourt le matin et elle m'a proposé de mettre une petite crème de complément : Force + (hyperprotéinée, hypercalorique) donc j'ai accepté ☺ . En plus elles sont super bonnes, le goût est différent des delicals elles sont plus onctueuses 😜 . Donc pour le 🔶 Petit déjeuner ce matin 🔹1 Thé Agrumes Cannelle 🌿 🔹1 Biscotte 🍞 🔹1 Grosse Pomme 🍏 🔹1 Complément Crème Force + Caramel . 
Que faîtes vous ce matin ? ☺ 
Bonne matinée 💋 
Je vous remercie vraiment d'être là 💜 ! 
#anorexia#anorexie #anorexique #prisedepoids #anawarrior #anameals #recovery #recoveryispossible #alimentation #tca #edrecovery #edwarrior #fightforlife #fight #ana #matin #petitdej #hopital #plateau #hospitalisation #manger #recoverywin #defi #augmentation#challenge #gain #poids #weight #evolution
Coucou ☺ !!! Alors la nuit a été bonne ? Moi ça a été, 7h30 réveil pour la prise de sang 💉. 8h30 : Petit Déjeuner. Je vous poste mon petit dej' pour la première fois, bon je vous avoue qu'avant l'hospitalisation j'avais complètement réduit mon petit dej, je ne prennais plus qu'un thé et une pomme ... Pendant mes premiers jours d'hospitalisation, je ne vous les postai pas car ils etaient identiques c'était : 1 Thé, 1 Biscotte et 1 fruit (en général une pomme mais des fois il n'y en avait plus, donc c'était 1 poire ou une Orange pour remplacer) . Mais depuis hier matin, pour AUGMENTER LES APPORTS 💪 avec la diététicienne je voulais rajouter un yaourt le matin et elle m'a proposé de mettre une petite crème de complément : Force + (hyperprotéinée, hypercalorique) donc j'ai accepté ☺ . En plus elles sont super bonnes, le goût est différent des delicals elles sont plus onctueuses 😜 . Donc pour le 🔶 Petit déjeuner ce matin 🔹1 Thé Agrumes Cannelle 🌿 🔹1 Biscotte 🍞 🔹1 Grosse Pomme 🍏 🔹1 Complément Crème Force + Caramel . Que faîtes vous ce matin ? ☺ Bonne matinée 💋 Je vous remercie vraiment d'être là 💜 ! #anorexia #anorexie  #anorexique  #prisedepoids  #anawarrior  #anameals  #recovery  #recoveryispossible  #alimentation  #tca  #edrecovery  #edwarrior  #fightforlife  #fight  #ana  #matin  #petitdej  #hopital  #plateau  #hospitalisation  #manger  #recoverywin  #defi  #augmentation #challenge  #gain  #poids  #weight  #evolution 
I'm not going to lie. I struggled to post this photo. Why? Because I look ugly. And I'm worried I will get hate all over again because I look ugly. I'm very concerned I'm going to be receiving comments saying how ugly I am over this photo. But I have things to say. 
I am struggling. I have this voice in my head screaming at me to relapse. I have this voice screaming that I'm too fat and I need to get down to 36kg and lower. I am almost in tears because I'm so disgusted with myself right now. I feel like I ate like a pig today. I feel like I'm going to gain shit loads and I feel massive and repulsive and I just want to relapse and lose weight and I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I know I can't listen to that voice but it is so strong. So fucking strong. It is bigger than me. It is stronger than me. And I don't know how to fight it. I just want to give in. I want to stop eating. I feel massive and disgusting and fat. I feel huge. I feel like the most obese person on the planet. I know that's not correct. I know I'm not obese. But oh god do I feel obese. I look at myself and I see obese fat. Someone please help me. I'm on the verge of giving into this voice to relapse. I just want to be skinny. I just want to look nice. I just want to be sick and unhealthy and I want to spend my life in hospital again. I know that's stupid. I know people don't want eating disorders. I don't want mine. But I love what comes with it. I love being in hospital. Which is stupid because I know when I'm there I hate it and want out. But I just feel this need to need to be sick and dying all over again. I'm so sad and over this life. I want a new one. I want death. And if anorexia can bring this I want it. I'm sorry. Nothing positive to report. •
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•
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #recovery #recoveryisworthit #edwarrior #edfighter #edfamily #edfam #bulimia #ednos #selfharmmm #anxiety #depression #ana
I'm not going to lie. I struggled to post this photo. Why? Because I look ugly. And I'm worried I will get hate all over again because I look ugly. I'm very concerned I'm going to be receiving comments saying how ugly I am over this photo. But I have things to say. I am struggling. I have this voice in my head screaming at me to relapse. I have this voice screaming that I'm too fat and I need to get down to 36kg and lower. I am almost in tears because I'm so disgusted with myself right now. I feel like I ate like a pig today. I feel like I'm going to gain shit loads and I feel massive and repulsive and I just want to relapse and lose weight and I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I know I can't listen to that voice but it is so strong. So fucking strong. It is bigger than me. It is stronger than me. And I don't know how to fight it. I just want to give in. I want to stop eating. I feel massive and disgusting and fat. I feel huge. I feel like the most obese person on the planet. I know that's not correct. I know I'm not obese. But oh god do I feel obese. I look at myself and I see obese fat. Someone please help me. I'm on the verge of giving into this voice to relapse. I just want to be skinny. I just want to look nice. I just want to be sick and unhealthy and I want to spend my life in hospital again. I know that's stupid. I know people don't want eating disorders. I don't want mine. But I love what comes with it. I love being in hospital. Which is stupid because I know when I'm there I hate it and want out. But I just feel this need to need to be sick and dying all over again. I'm so sad and over this life. I want a new one. I want death. And if anorexia can bring this I want it. I'm sorry. Nothing positive to report. • • • • #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #ed  #edrecovery  #recovery  #recoveryisworthit  #edwarrior  #edfighter  #edfamily  #edfam  #bulimia  #ednos  #selfharmmm  #anxiety  #depression  #ana 
lol this vid doesn't make any sense but i like my hair this way~
ANYHOW I DECIDED SOMETHING BIG!! AH HELP. 😧
After months of starving, bingeing, starving, bingeing.. I sort of decided that I want to start doing the opposite of walking the safe path. I keeeeep telling myself "oh once i weigh x kg less I'll be happy and I'll slowly increase my intake." however, it's not gonna happen. I'll either a) be truly unhappy but stay at an unhealthy weight eventually  or b) stay stuck in this cycle. 
So, I know the facts but it's REALLY REALLY REALLY TERRIFYING TO ACT AGAINST MY EATING DISORDER. Like, I'm already depressed and now i have to fight this too (that's constantly my excuse). But my ED makes my depression worse and that's visa versa.
Now my plan is to pick up my meal plan today and to just do it so that's what i'm gonna do. djdjddjfjtut😱😰😮🙃
~
I know what I really want, I just want to be happy with myself and I want to be happy with my life. My ED makes me feel like i can achieve that but I know that's not the right way. All it has done is made me feel even more miserable. It's almost funny how your mind can trick you because it's so obvious it makes you miserable yet you think it makes you better.
I'm terrified to do this, I really am, but I am gonna try anyway and we'll see where this ends. I just think that eventually I'll be grateful for making this choice but it's really tough to fight this on my own. However, like i also said a milllion times in my other posts: i desperately want to get better and choosing to get better and to go for that also means taking responsibility and making the right choices. 
SO IM GONNA DO THIS❤️👏🏼
xxxxx
lol this vid doesn't make any sense but i like my hair this way~ ANYHOW I DECIDED SOMETHING BIG!! AH HELP. 😧 After months of starving, bingeing, starving, bingeing.. I sort of decided that I want to start doing the opposite of walking the safe path. I keeeeep telling myself "oh once i weigh x kg less I'll be happy and I'll slowly increase my intake." however, it's not gonna happen. I'll either a) be truly unhappy but stay at an unhealthy weight eventually or b) stay stuck in this cycle. So, I know the facts but it's REALLY REALLY REALLY TERRIFYING TO ACT AGAINST MY EATING DISORDER. Like, I'm already depressed and now i have to fight this too (that's constantly my excuse). But my ED makes my depression worse and that's visa versa. Now my plan is to pick up my meal plan today and to just do it so that's what i'm gonna do. djdjddjfjtut😱😰😮🙃 ~ I know what I really want, I just want to be happy with myself and I want to be happy with my life. My ED makes me feel like i can achieve that but I know that's not the right way. All it has done is made me feel even more miserable. It's almost funny how your mind can trick you because it's so obvious it makes you miserable yet you think it makes you better. I'm terrified to do this, I really am, but I am gonna try anyway and we'll see where this ends. I just think that eventually I'll be grateful for making this choice but it's really tough to fight this on my own. However, like i also said a milllion times in my other posts: i desperately want to get better and choosing to get better and to go for that also means taking responsibility and making the right choices. SO IM GONNA DO THIS❤️👏🏼 xxxxx
There's no going back.
There's no going back.
Breakfast was blueberry Lemon overnight oats topped with almond butter, fresh bluebs, hemp seeds and lemon zest 😊🍋💜 Also had a green earl grey tea 🍵

I wish you all an amazing day my loves ❤️ #eatittobeatit #edwarrior #mentalhealthawareness #2fab4ana #edfight #edrecovery #edrecover #edfighter #recoveryisworthit #recovery #recoveryispossible #edwarrior #instafood #healthy #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverywin #eatingdisorder #anawho #anorexia #vegan #hope #happiness #anorexiarecovery #fuckana #strongereveryday #prorecovery
#mentalhealth #staypositive #food
Breakfast was blueberry Lemon overnight oats topped with almond butter, fresh bluebs, hemp seeds and lemon zest 😊🍋💜 Also had a green earl grey tea 🍵 I wish you all an amazing day my loves ❤️ #eatittobeatit  #edwarrior  #mentalhealthawareness  #2fab4ana  #edfight  #edrecovery  #edrecover  #edfighter  #recoveryisworthit  #recovery  #recoveryispossible  #edwarrior  #instafood  #healthy  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recoverywin  #eatingdisorder  #anawho  #anorexia  #vegan  #hope  #happiness  #anorexiarecovery  #fuckana  #strongereveryday  #prorecovery  #mentalhealth  #staypositive  #food 
Lunch was a small bowl of corn, tomato, cucumber, egg and mozarella. Tomorrow I have school again, and therapie, I'm curious, now it's not running the way I want it, new concept starts today

#anorexie#anorexia#recover#recovery#happy#healthy#food#yummi#edrecover#edrecovery#veggi#rainyday#free#healthybody#sport
Let them come
Let them come
Chocolate and caramel fro-yo 🍦🍫 My first time in 3 years to eat fro-yo and was the most magical moment 😍 I'm so proud of myself, for breaking the restrictions I put on myself, so I can actually enjoy food 💪
Chocolate and caramel fro-yo 🍦🍫 My first time in 3 years to eat fro-yo and was the most magical moment 😍 I'm so proud of myself, for breaking the restrictions I put on myself, so I can actually enjoy food 💪
After some days of struggle I found some inner peace and strengh again. It's sometimes just about how to wake up. I feel it when it's like oh, what a nice day. Let's get up, do your routine and just lookin forward to a lunch with some favorite veggies and so on. It can be the opposite too. What a shitty day. I don't want to eat and If I do, the urges to purge are extremely high. I often hear, you really see your progress on bad days. How strong you are, If you can hold on through the urges and so on. For me it's a bit different. I don't see a sense in fighting this extreme. For sure it's something you must fight but it's wrong to choose  the battle against yourself. I just try to accept and while the ED gets louder I don't ignore but I try to build up the Anni inside. She's a woman and she already knows that the ED gives her nothing. She knows that she will be free one day. And she is strong enough to get the control back. That's what I use to remind me. Always and what I really have to say is that the distance between the relapses and getting Anni back are getting samller. Maybe I have bad days. Not just one day who sucks but in the end of the day I've got myself back. I use to free myself from this self-hate. That makes everything more worse I guess. I am who I am and that's okay. Just like you are and everytime we use to hate ourselfes it's like a punch in our face and a kiss of ed's cheek. Eatingdisorders are not funny or a choice. So I try to free me from the negative thoughts about myself. I am not weak bc the ED sometimes still win. I am not weak bc I give in. I am not weak bc I fall back into old bad behaviours. I am in progress and that needs time. I am strong bc I choosed to be healthy one day even If it means that I have to face my most brutal demons. I am strong bc I look in the mirror and say my name. Loud and clearly without fear. I am strong bc I accept myself the way it is atm and I am strong bc I don't try to hate myself. I prefere to try to understand. You are strong guys. So damn strong. Even If it doesn't work like it should atm. You choosed to be healthy one day. That's a form of selfrespect and shows so much strengh. 💚
After some days of struggle I found some inner peace and strengh again. It's sometimes just about how to wake up. I feel it when it's like oh, what a nice day. Let's get up, do your routine and just lookin forward to a lunch with some favorite veggies and so on. It can be the opposite too. What a shitty day. I don't want to eat and If I do, the urges to purge are extremely high. I often hear, you really see your progress on bad days. How strong you are, If you can hold on through the urges and so on. For me it's a bit different. I don't see a sense in fighting this extreme. For sure it's something you must fight but it's wrong to choose the battle against yourself. I just try to accept and while the ED gets louder I don't ignore but I try to build up the Anni inside. She's a woman and she already knows that the ED gives her nothing. She knows that she will be free one day. And she is strong enough to get the control back. That's what I use to remind me. Always and what I really have to say is that the distance between the relapses and getting Anni back are getting samller. Maybe I have bad days. Not just one day who sucks but in the end of the day I've got myself back. I use to free myself from this self-hate. That makes everything more worse I guess. I am who I am and that's okay. Just like you are and everytime we use to hate ourselfes it's like a punch in our face and a kiss of ed's cheek. Eatingdisorders are not funny or a choice. So I try to free me from the negative thoughts about myself. I am not weak bc the ED sometimes still win. I am not weak bc I give in. I am not weak bc I fall back into old bad behaviours. I am in progress and that needs time. I am strong bc I choosed to be healthy one day even If it means that I have to face my most brutal demons. I am strong bc I look in the mirror and say my name. Loud and clearly without fear. I am strong bc I accept myself the way it is atm and I am strong bc I don't try to hate myself. I prefere to try to understand. You are strong guys. So damn strong. Even If it doesn't work like it should atm. You choosed to be healthy one day. That's a form of selfrespect and shows so much strengh. 💚
Fruit and Fibre and a fruit smoothie for breakfast this morning 👍 ana screamed at me and told me I didn't need this but I didn't listen 💪

I have CAMHS this morning 😓 I'm feeling very very low aswl well which never helps 😔 I wish I could just stay in bed 😭 PTW: part of the reason I don't want to go to camhs is in truth I don't actually want to recover 😧 I feel comfortable feeling like this and I don't know who I'll be when/if I recover 😓 but I'm doing to for my girlfriend and my family so I am going! 💪

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #depression #depressionrecovery #recovery
Fruit and Fibre and a fruit smoothie for breakfast this morning 👍 ana screamed at me and told me I didn't need this but I didn't listen 💪 I have CAMHS this morning 😓 I'm feeling very very low aswl well which never helps 😔 I wish I could just stay in bed 😭 PTW: part of the reason I don't want to go to camhs is in truth I don't actually want to recover 😧 I feel comfortable feeling like this and I don't know who I'll be when/if I recover 😓 but I'm doing to for my girlfriend and my family so I am going! 💪 #edrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #anarecovery  #depression  #depressionrecovery  #recovery 
Real talk.
I made this account so long ago. In my starting stages of recovery, and eventually to inspire others. I used to open my heart out in order to just reach one struggle person, to tell them to push forward. And still now, try to help others through messages I get sent and to focus on the steps to have a better life, to love yourself more, and to appreciate who you are. But am I telling these things to others and forgetting to tell myself those things? I want to be honest on here, and remind you I am not always that happy, bubbly person I may appear to be, posting pictures of beautiful places and enjoying life. In fact I haven't felt that in a long time. Reality is a mess for me right now behind closed doors. A heavy weight pushing me down, anxiety bubbling, and stress overflowing. I cry, I break. And a lot of the time I want to hide away. I want to remind you instagram and social media doesn't show everything. And people need to stop wishing they had that "perfect life" that someone else seems to have. And focus your energy on YOU. For there is SO much more to someone then a smiling picture on a screen. 
Be kind, help another. But always remember to care for yourself first❤️🌸🌹
Real talk. I made this account so long ago. In my starting stages of recovery, and eventually to inspire others. I used to open my heart out in order to just reach one struggle person, to tell them to push forward. And still now, try to help others through messages I get sent and to focus on the steps to have a better life, to love yourself more, and to appreciate who you are. But am I telling these things to others and forgetting to tell myself those things? I want to be honest on here, and remind you I am not always that happy, bubbly person I may appear to be, posting pictures of beautiful places and enjoying life. In fact I haven't felt that in a long time. Reality is a mess for me right now behind closed doors. A heavy weight pushing me down, anxiety bubbling, and stress overflowing. I cry, I break. And a lot of the time I want to hide away. I want to remind you instagram and social media doesn't show everything. And people need to stop wishing they had that "perfect life" that someone else seems to have. And focus your energy on YOU. For there is SO much more to someone then a smiling picture on a screen. Be kind, help another. But always remember to care for yourself first❤️🌸🌹
"I've spent half of my life not knowing the difference between killing myself and fighting back." Anonymous.

When your eating disorder is an anchor, a saviour from deeper, darker pains. Is hanging onto it killing me or saving me? That's where I'm stuck. Because what bad thing am I pointing at? Monsters have many faces.

Image via @beatingeatingdisorders.
"I've spent half of my life not knowing the difference between killing myself and fighting back." Anonymous. When your eating disorder is an anchor, a saviour from deeper, darker pains. Is hanging onto it killing me or saving me? That's where I'm stuck. Because what bad thing am I pointing at? Monsters have many faces. Image via @beatingeatingdisorders.
Have a great day fighters ❣️
Have a great day fighters ❣️
Porridge time 👌 avoine, poire, flaxseeds, chia, fruits rouges congelés, peanut butter, La parfaite combinaison 🙏👌 Hier, j ai pu profiter d une journée surprise! Mais maintenant, j au mal aux jambes Haha On a énormément marché, mange a des heures complètement folles! Mais Cela a fait un bien fou 😍 Ce soir, j ai de nouveau une autre soirée! On les enchaîne! Je vais finir la semaine sur les rotules 😂🙊
Passez une bonne journée 🌺🌟 #food #foodie #foodpic #foodporn #foodgasm #foodblogger  #breakfast #petitdejeuner #porridge #oatmeal #chia #pb #peanutbutter #healthy #healthylife #healthyfood  #cleaneating  #vegan #vegetarian #ed #edfamily #edrecovery #recovery #ana #anarecovery #foodrecovery #anabitch #motivation #reequilibragealimentaire #edfighter
Porridge time 👌 avoine, poire, flaxseeds, chia, fruits rouges congelés, peanut butter, La parfaite combinaison 🙏👌 Hier, j ai pu profiter d une journée surprise! Mais maintenant, j au mal aux jambes Haha On a énormément marché, mange a des heures complètement folles! Mais Cela a fait un bien fou 😍 Ce soir, j ai de nouveau une autre soirée! On les enchaîne! Je vais finir la semaine sur les rotules 😂🙊 Passez une bonne journée 🌺🌟 #food  #foodie  #foodpic  #foodporn  #foodgasm  #foodblogger  #breakfast  #petitdejeuner  #porridge  #oatmeal  #chia  #pb  #peanutbutter  #healthy  #healthylife  #healthyfood  #cleaneating  #vegan  #vegetarian  #ed  #edfamily  #edrecovery  #recovery  #ana  #anarecovery  #foodrecovery  #anabitch  #motivation  #reequilibragealimentaire  #edfighter 
"It seems sooo boring being vegan, gosh! Like what do you even eat?" 😪 "Yah. So boring. Eating like, salads without content for every meal."😒 -said no real vegan ever. 😎

Breakfast was chocolate nice cream topped with chia seeds, coconut shred, almond butter, blueberries, dark choco pieces and strawberries. I'm happy. And so full i can't stand. But happy. 😛

#vegan #kitchen #breakfast #morning #food #banana #nicecream #icecream #chocolate #choco #blueberries #strawberries #almondbutter #plantbased #plantpower #veganism #veganlife #veg #edrecovery #recover #recovery #chiaseeds #healthy #healthyfood #coconutshred
"It seems sooo boring being vegan, gosh! Like what do you even eat?" 😪 "Yah. So boring. Eating like, salads without content for every meal."😒 -said no real vegan ever. 😎 Breakfast was chocolate nice cream topped with chia seeds, coconut shred, almond butter, blueberries, dark choco pieces and strawberries. I'm happy. And so full i can't stand. But happy. 😛 #vegan  #kitchen  #breakfast  #morning  #food  #banana  #nicecream  #icecream  #chocolate  #choco  #blueberries  #strawberries  #almondbutter  #plantbased  #plantpower  #veganism  #veganlife  #veg  #edrecovery  #recover  #recovery  #chiaseeds  #healthy  #healthyfood  #coconutshred 
🎉 YUM🎉
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Il est l'heure de déjeuner 🙌🤗 avec mes petites crêpes qui me suivent partout surtout en déplacement c'est hyper pratique 💥 je les prépares la veille et hop le matin il me suffit de prendre la boîte et le tour est joué 😅 .
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Il fait mourrant de chaud dans ce bus je vais terminé soit séché comme une écrevisse soit euh je vous laisse deviner 😁😁 non je rigole mais fait vraiment chaud 😳🌋🌶 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
-20% @legginginabox code : ZOLIELIFE20
-10% @rocprotein code : zolielife

#meal  #food #fitfood  #prisedemasse #fitness #fitgirl #musculation #fightforit #healthy #fitnessmotivation #fitfam #edrecovery  #gym #fitnessgirl #fitfam #muscu  #body  #healthy  #chocolat #almonds #nopainnogain #fitnessaddict #diet #porridge #oats #pancakes #fruits #cookies #breakfast #crepes #strawberries #healthybreakfast
🎉 YUM🎉 . Il est l'heure de déjeuner 🙌🤗 avec mes petites crêpes qui me suivent partout surtout en déplacement c'est hyper pratique 💥 je les prépares la veille et hop le matin il me suffit de prendre la boîte et le tour est joué 😅 . . Il fait mourrant de chaud dans ce bus je vais terminé soit séché comme une écrevisse soit euh je vous laisse deviner 😁😁 non je rigole mais fait vraiment chaud 😳🌋🌶 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ -20% @legginginabox code : ZOLIELIFE20 -10% @rocprotein code : zolielife #meal  #food  #fitfood  #prisedemasse  #fitness  #fitgirl  #musculation  #fightforit  #healthy  #fitnessmotivation  #fitfam  #edrecovery  #gym  #fitnessgirl  #fitfam  #muscu  #body  #healthy  #chocolat  #almonds  #nopainnogain  #fitnessaddict  #diet  #porridge  #oats  #pancakes  #fruits  #cookies  #breakfast  #crepes  #strawberries  #healthybreakfast