No makeup. I've got pores, lines, bumps, scars, floppy eyelids and double chins. But that's me. It's taken every one of my almost 40 years to feel ok in my own skin. I started out as a makeup artist to learn how to hide and change my appearance. It's WAY more fun now to just enjoy doing makeup. Appreciating the foundation and enhancing what's there and having fun!
Loving yourself is a daily practice that isn't always easy, but so rewarding.
Looooong post. Body image.
So i want to say something about body image. This is not the lightest I've ever been and it's definitely not the heaviest either. But it's the happiest I've ever been in my own skin. A year ago, i would never have been willing to leave the house in a pencil dress, let alone take a selfie to share on social media with my hair and face not yet did. In the past i have been a lot lighter but never happy with my body. Lighter for me felt like 3 to 5 hours of exercise every day, like always being slightly dizzy, it felt like always being terrified of food.
I'm now trying to be moderate. I exercise when it fits my life and it's daily stresses, instead of my life having to fit around my exercise. I eat a bit of everything, follow 5:2, mostly, and I'm okay if day on day off the scales fluctuate. And when shit gets super real, there's icecream.
There are aspects of my body that I'm not in love with and probably never will be. As a whole, however, i do like my body. It takes a change in mindset to come around to that which starts by liking just one thing about yourself and building from there. For me that was my eyes, i have pretty eyes, which means by extension a pretty face. I also like my boobs to waist to hip ratio, which means by extension, i like my body.
I learnt this from watching RuPaul's Drag Race. If these hulking great men pad and paint themselves to look like me and women like me? And they create beauty and are celebrated? That their curves and swerves are sexy? That must mean that i am beautiful. That my curves and swerves are sexy.
I have a lot of supportive people in my life helping me reach this place. I have friends who build me up in regards to my body, a man who cherishes my body, who affirms my desirability (new word haha) every day and some very positive Facebook groups of women going through similar journeys. Ultimately though, self love has to come from inside, and that takes work. I urge anyone struggling with being okay with their body to stand in front of a mirror and find something, anything they like about themselves because that's a really positive first step.
I had an appointment with my therapist this morning it was a good session I hadn't been in over a month. We all know having psoriasis effects your mental health they pretty much go hand in hand. Going to see a therapist is one of the best decisions I've ever made 😊 Look after yourself all of yourself ❤