You wished that I didn’t want more, but you did it anyway. And I allowed you to. You put in so much effort into something you weren’t ready for, and didn’t want to feel the feelings that you were feeling. I’m sensitive, it’s natural to me. But to bring me into your shit and take it out on me, is unnecessary. Quite hurtful, if I’m being honest. I just. I’m heart broken. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m in pieces. You were emotionally unavailable, you told me this after-the-fact, but you wanted me, just not completely. Your selfish needs, but what about me and my spiritual safety? I gotta be careful next time. That’s all I really gotta say about this. I’m grateful for my existence. I’m grateful for family and friends. But right now, my heart hurts. I’m in so much fucking pain. And I’m not going to pretend it’s not there. I’m expressing it and eventually I will be able to let it go. It’s like the initial shock. Being used by someone who doesn’t know they are abusing their power is something else... You were something special and I was going to love you. But I’m so glad I didn’t have to waste that energy. I really wanted to give up on love, but I know I really shouldn’t. You were another dud. But, there is always another one. Maybe, just maybe, he could be the one. I’m not looking for something to fill the void. I want someone that I can vibrate with and connect with like electricity. That’s the love I will be needing. Really... You wished me luck, but I won’t be needing it. I will be fine, even if I cry. Tonight. •
• ----------------------------------------------- #book#wordgasm#emotions#poetrycommunity#poetsofig#creativewriting#human#inspire#instapoem#live#mentalhealthawareness#love#poetsociety#writerscommunity#fantasy#growth#quotes#BiancaKing#blogger#socialmedia#journey#mentalhealth#vibes#blog#message#lifequotes#poem#author#life#journal
As we walk our way;
I have never seen the clouds so gray
With its heaviest load,
Like what I'm carrying down this road.
Finally, the rain fell—
Raindrops mad as hell
Thereafter, my tears shed,
Wishing I could sober back at bed.
And it is noon;
As the clock's two hands greeted,
I'll see you soon..
Calm drawn off from the centre of itself bring it back loop it back. Wanders so wander retrieve it loop it back. Worry isn't worth its tired weight but what to do with it. They aren't the wild animals you think they are, out there in your worry trees. /
Out from under branches: cedar fir juniper. Pine holly magnolia. And how full they sit. In the rain in the dark. Laden with good secrets and stealth./ There you are and all you are becoming. Eucalyptus sleeping in the studio. White and red flowers in night water- whispering? singing? dreaming.