I’m trying to get better at being open about myself. I made a New Years resolution last year to step out of my comfort zone, so this is my last step. To be honest, I battle daily with severe depression, ADHD, severe generalized anxiety, PTSD, and social anxiety. All of this has been diagnosed professionally. Throughout the years I’ve had friends die at an abnormal rate. It’s been one or more people a year since about 2011. One of my dear friends passed away early this year in March. Some of my closest family members are dead. I’ve been self sufficient for a long time.
I’ve dated men that have told me that I was worthless, cheated on me, told me I was getting unattractive, and have tried to keep me down in order to uplift themselves. Men that caused my social anxiety to overtake a lot of aspects of my life. My longest relationship was a prime example of that.
But through it all I have learned to embrace myself. I love who I am and whom I am set to become. I have spent this year trying hard to surround myself with people that love me for whom I am now instead of who I could be. I’ve stepped on a stage multiple times to perform in front of several hundreds of people surrounded by some of the most intelligent and strongest women I know. I even was in a photoshoot recently when I wasn’t at my physical peak. That was hard for me too.
I have come to realize this year that I will never cease be proud of myself, as some of the things I’ve faced would quite frankly break most people. I got through it all, knowing that life has more to bring. One thing life has taught me again and again is that even though things get rough there is always the next chapter to look forward to. Continue to work hard, keep your head up, but don’t forget the past. Honor it and use it to fuel whom you are meant to be. The love of those that have passed on to the next life will be with you for an eternity.
🏈🤔🤔 Jalen Ramsey is not feeling the hype train for the Seattle Seahawks
P.S. somebody call Doug Baldwin
If anyone thinks a company wide email was going to stop me from wearing this entirely too small women’s turtleneck to the company Christmas party then you thought wrong. @nelliejhossi ... #fouryearsinarow