From a young age girls are taught not to do so many things.
Don't run, you'll fall and scrape your knees
what man will want you with ugly legs?
Don't talk back like that,
who's going to want a girl with that attitude and a dirty mouth? (Now at 25 I can name you a couple, ma)
Don't sit with your legs open, that would be an open invitation and you are not that type of lady. (Yeah, sure who cares about my comfort or my consent or right to take up space)
Don't leave your dishes there, wash them and pick up the rest. A man needs a woman who can cook and clean. (But what about a woman's needs?)
And while all of these things (and so many more) are problematic, the "don't" that hurts the longest is the limit placed on knowing and loving our own bodies.
Your body is not yours, they'd say
Your body is God's temple
If you bring sin to it, you bring sin to God.(As if using the tools that God designed me with were a bad thing, as if pleasure wasn't the reason she/he put so many beautiful nerves on my clit, so much potential for pleasure on our bodies)
Only men can masturbate,
Their needs are different from ours, they'd lie. (Justifying their obscene sense of entitlement)
Women can't please themselves, they fooled.
Sex is not about pleasure, they'd try to convince
But pleasure is part of who we are and if we don't know what pleases us and how we can please ourselves then there's a whole part of our being that's missing.
One necessary for our growth.
It is vital to be in control of our pleasure and not have to depend on a man or another person to give us that. So free the clit, y'all and get to know your bodies. The only bodies we have in this lifetime, our most intimate companion, or first belonging even if they tried to convince us it wasn't ours. -
One of my favorite moments with my grandmother, sitting in her bed, running my fingers through her hair just listening to her transport us both back in time. Her story continues but the phone stopped recording. She starts laughing when she finishes this sentence and it was the sweetest sound. #honorwomxneveryday#missinghomeseries
I see myself twice for all the people who failed to see me. And when I say see I don't mean look. Getting looked at? I know that far too well, all women do. That's how we learn to read people because from an early age we learn to discern which gazes mean walk faster, bite your tongue, or run. We spend so much of our youth looking for eyes that see us, our souls and not just the bodies that developed too quickly. That's where we fail though, in the search of someone who sees the magic we are. Look at yourself in the mirror and look at those eyes that love you, that although sometimes skewed will always see you. Realize now that other people will never fill your voids and that those who didn't see you must be B L I N D. If they didn't see your magic from the get, they never will so #letthatshitgo#ayyymujer#latinafeminism#feminista#latinafeminista#feminism#selflove
Why are people so mad at girls who love themselves? Like Damnnnn, do you know how many problematic thjngs I've had to unlearn (and am still struggling to UNlearn?!) how much self destructive shit I've had to erase from my own memory? Sit down with your talk of arrogance and conceit. Don't patronize anyone for feeling confident, for learning to feel comfortable in her skin.. Mostly via @latinarebels other parts added by me. This post of theirs resonated with my struggles with self love and being a witness to so many people putting women down for feeling and looking confident and sexy. Own your sexuality, your body - or others will try to do it for you. Don't let 'em!
I always bet @mario_ruben_ on things.. This time my bet was that this photo was better than the other he posted because I look happier- I truly loved feeling the raindrops on my face. Que creen?! What do you think mine or his? (MINE!) :) 📷 @mario_ruben_ #Newvisualcollective
Growth. It comes in so many different ways and shapes and sizes. You see it in the way your hair grows back, or the way you handle a situation which you handled terribly (& in my case probably embarrassingly) wrong the first time around, the way you're more patient, the way you control your thoughts more, how you choose to drink water if you're the DD, (& try to get those 8 glasses in everyday), how your eye brows grow back when the eyebrow lady f**ked them UP. Growth happens internally and externally in the slightest and most obvious ways but the scariest of them all is seeing how these tiny humans around you grow and learn and leave you speechless. Im not saying I want kids anytime soon, what I am saying is that I like having them around. That seeing them grow makes me more aware of my own growth (and the very present inner child in me) and for that I am thankful. Today Gabby turned 2! In a few weeks Lissy will be turning FOUR & so will Nacha!
Time Flies. Let's focus on how we've grown and all we have left to learn( & teach!) #newvisualcollective#ayyymujer
I think the best gift I ever received from my dad was the ability to reflect. To understand things for their deeper meaning and to appreciate the complex humanity in everyone. I often talk about my mom as part of my "social justice origin story": how she is driven, passionate, how proud I am to have her Brazilian blood running through me. But in truth, I think my father is the reason I care so much in the first place. He keeps me convinced that my liberation is bound up with the liberation of others, and helps me see beauty and vulnerability in people where others might see weakness and flaws.
This is a photo of my parents on their wedding day, at our family's house in Brazil. I'm so grateful to carry pieces and learnings from both of them in the work I do.
In solidarity with women in Puerto Rico. As a woman who usually walks alone especially in urban settings such a Jersey City or NYC, in the case of an assault (or any incident for that matter)- the police should not have to ask where a woman was coming from late at night nor question why she was alone. We are commuters, students, workers, educators- being a woman should not have to affect how and where we can walk, it should not have to dictate the methods of transportations we are allowed to use. Rather than questioning the victims, why not spread more awareness about ending violence and changing the pressure men feel to always show their masculinity- so much pressure that even if they are unaware of it, it causes them to partake in actions of street harassment and other forms of violence and abuse. Let's educate men, enforce accountability and stop blaming victims and trying to limit women. #stopvictimblaming#andandolacallesola#jerseycitylove#jerseycity#tbt#spreadlove#spreadawareness#latinafeminism#latinafeminista#ayyymujer
Calling women of all ages!! Next IMperfect shoot will be Sunday, March 15th at 1pm in Jersey City. Celebrating Women's History Month with important conversations and mimosas! This behind the scenes picture is just a peak of how much fun and liberating the shoot was for us.
Reminding you that she who dares, wins! Calling out all the women who participated in the last shoot, all the women who have expressed interest in the project, and to any other woman who is on the fence about whether to participate or not. Dare to try something new, dare to take part in a dialogue that is going to help reshape beauty standards.
IMperfect is an opportunity to come together and free ourselves from the labels we have been taught to use against our bodies, its a chance to learn from one another and empower each other. Within the word imperfect lies the reminder that we are in fact perfect just the way we are. We use this play on words to redefine and reclaim beauty. We all have imperfections and ironically, those are what makes us perfect.
Come out and celebrate our womanhood, our sisterhood and be a part of positive change. For more information, follow, DM, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org #imprfctprjct @imprfctprjct #imperfectprjct#ayyymujer
Tiny Feminist Anecdote:
When I was 5 I allegedly pulled my mother into my room for a "meeting" where I had laid out all of the dresses i owned on the bed and explained to her that I would no longer wear these uncomfortable dresses or itchy socks. She says I sat her down and told her I wanted to wear clothes like Lenny's (my brother) and that she could not force me to do otherwise. So #fbf to my years in Barranquilla, which although brief, helped shape so much of who I am becoming everyday. And of course credit to my brother, the first feminist man I ever knew. Who needs a good father figure when your brother is your best friend and when you're born with ovaries bigger than most men's cojones. #wepa#latinafeminista#latinafeminism#feminism#tinyfeminist#colombia#ayyymujer#tinyfeministanecdotes#feministeando