I've felt a slight bit of tension building on the inside the last couple of days, and maybe it's been there just a little bit longer than I was aware of. Maybe I subconsciously tried to block it out. 🤔 At this point in time, I am unsure, all I know is sometimes I get these feelings of resentment even slight anger when I start to grow apart from people I care about no matter the reason. I start to feel that all the value I brought to the relationship was for nothing, and I hear myself starting to think of them in a negative light. I don't like that I do that and I've sought to correct this negative action or reaction if you will. I think it's ultimately a fear driven response. It's painful to invite somebody into your life on a deeper intimate level and then to have them just fade away, not text you back, return your phone calls or make time for you when all you did was bring them value. Bittersweet is the word, so I think my resentment stems from fear. Fear that after all the time, energy, memories and overall investment could have been used on myself instead and having to cope with the fact that ultimately we will all be physically alone and we will die alone which is why we must seek salvation in God, the most high, Buddha, Allah, the universe etc.