Working Out...It's my replacement for self destructive behavior. Protein Shakes are my new alcohol. It lifts me up and helps me feel better. Nothing like leaving the gym dripping in sweat. That high is one of my favorite feelings.
Sometimes I don't want to go. Some days I wanna hide under the covers. But I always know I'll feel amazing leaving the gym after a great work out. Since my manic episode...well rather since I've calmed down from my manic episode I've realized a lot of my confidence had been taken from me. I lost a lot of my self esteem during my mania because of losing control of my brain. I guess I lost a lot of my confidence and self esteem too from not being able to control my depression. I so badly tried to will my way out of depression. I fought hard. THERE IS NO WAY TO WILL YOUR WAY OUT OF CLINICAL DEPRESSION. Mental Illness is so far out of our control....We didn't ask for this? Who the fuck would want to be mentally ill...haha. Nobody. But I do love a lot of things about myself that stem from my mental illness. My artistic, creative, sensitive, caring, empath traits.
I was manic from January 2017-June 2017...From July 2017 til today I've been slowly finding myself. Trying different meds. Recovering , healing, relaxing. Going to therapy. And I'm back to doing CrossFit! I feel so great ! My best advice is if you're having a bad day get some exercise. Even if it's a walk around the block! Breathe in some fresh air....We are all on a journey to wellness. We may have setbacks...BUT WE CAN DO THIS❤️❤️🏋🏻♀️ #crossfit#fitness#workout#exercise#goals#bipolar#mentalhealth#unashamed#mentalhealthrecovery#mentalhealthawareness#bipolar1#bipolar2#bipolardisorder#depression#mania#suicideprevention
Getting excited about announcing some big things in coming weeks.. with currently 8 projects on the go that intertwine the beginning of a significant change in the perception and awareness of mental illness. Im using my journey with mental illness and training and experience in sports development and sports psychology mixing it with my obsession with history, psychology and psychiatry. From blogs, books and stage play in progress to video presentations and workshops giving insight to mental illness and techniques in coping with them and embracing them, we will ignite the fire inside the hearts and minds of the dreamers and misunderstood.. stay posted everyone and thank you all so much for your support, I hope to use my gifts to change the world and inspire others to fly like a Phoenix.