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Hereโ€™s to today that I wonโ€™t remember anything ๐Ÿ˜… #medchanges #flyinghigh #fuckendo
Another tiny pill to swallow - pure hope in capsules form. It is impossible to swallow this first dose but my mood gets darker and darker. 
For over 20 years I have been promised so much with each med change.
I want to have hope but I canโ€™t. I am exhausted.
I just donโ€™t have the stomach for it anymore... Iโ€™ve grown an emotionally gag reflex.
I can be med compliant, I just canโ€™t be optimistic.
#bipolar #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #bpd #medchange #medchanges #medchangessuck #๐Ÿคฎ #๐Ÿ’Š #medcompliant #ihatethisfeeling #๐Ÿ’”
Another tiny pill to swallow - pure hope in capsules form. It is impossible to swallow this first dose but my mood gets darker and darker. For over 20 years I have been promised so much with each med change. I want to have hope but I canโ€™t. I am exhausted. I just donโ€™t have the stomach for it anymore... Iโ€™ve grown an emotionally gag reflex. I can be med compliant, I just canโ€™t be optimistic. #bipolar  #bipolardisorder  #bipolardepression  #bpd  #medchange  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #๐Ÿคฎ #๐Ÿ’Š #medcompliant  #ihatethisfeeling  #๐Ÿ’”
I've had to take extra meds the past couple nights to sleep after coming up manic a few days ago... This super whammy nighttime combo does keep me for further cycling, but it does leave me with one heck of a med hangover.  Hoping tonight will be *normal* sleep and a return to routine because as it is, my brain is fog soup & I'm half a zombie today even with my coffee.  Thankfully though, my mental state is a-ok stable... Which makes the drawbacks worth it.  Anyhow, pressing on with the med adjustments... I'll get there.  Just takes time, trial and error, and a lot of patience, grit and fortitude, along with a healthy dose of self-love to stay the course. 
#mood #brainfog #sleepydog #medadjustments #bipolar #insomnia #manic #mania #cycling #rapidcycling #mentalillness #bipolarwarrior #depression #bipolardepression #anxiety #ocd #meds #medchanges #selflove #gritandfortitude #staythecourse #trialanderror #currentmood #zombiestateofmind #isitbedtimeyet ๐Ÿ˜ด
I've had to take extra meds the past couple nights to sleep after coming up manic a few days ago... This super whammy nighttime combo does keep me for further cycling, but it does leave me with one heck of a med hangover. Hoping tonight will be *normal* sleep and a return to routine because as it is, my brain is fog soup & I'm half a zombie today even with my coffee. Thankfully though, my mental state is a-ok stable... Which makes the drawbacks worth it. Anyhow, pressing on with the med adjustments... I'll get there. Just takes time, trial and error, and a lot of patience, grit and fortitude, along with a healthy dose of self-love to stay the course. #mood  #brainfog  #sleepydog  #medadjustments  #bipolar  #insomnia  #manic  #mania  #cycling  #rapidcycling  #mentalillness  #bipolarwarrior  #depression  #bipolardepression  #anxiety  #ocd  #meds  #medchanges  #selflove  #gritandfortitude  #staythecourse  #trialanderror  #currentmood  #zombiestateofmind  #isitbedtimeyet  ๐Ÿ˜ด
My dissociation and surrealism is back but my self awareness, sleep, and ability to identify triggers are as well. Day in the life ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ #medchanges
My dissociation and surrealism is back but my self awareness, sleep, and ability to identify triggers are as well. Day in the life ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ #medchanges 
Sorry about the lack of posts recently.  Iโ€™ve had a bad time mentally but feeling a bit more me now #medchanges #medchangessuck #chronicallyfabulous #chronicillness #chronicpain #fibro
Having a rough time due to bed changes.  Felt like messing around with make up though #makeup #medchanges #depression #anxiety #chronicillness #fibrosucks #fuckfibro
Another day, another med change. At least Iโ€™ve been on Latuda before so I know what to expect. I stopped Latuda in the spring because I wasnโ€™t where my np and I wanted me to be. Since then Iโ€™ve been on 3 different meds trying for better. At this point I just wanted something familiar that I knew would help me sleep. Iโ€™m looking forward to the side effect as I raise my dose. Itโ€™s hard to know what level of side effects vs. what level of mood to accept and hope to achieve. Such a delicate balance. #depression #anxiety #ocd #insomnia #medchanges #emotionalrollercoaster
Another day, another med change. At least Iโ€™ve been on Latuda before so I know what to expect. I stopped Latuda in the spring because I wasnโ€™t where my np and I wanted me to be. Since then Iโ€™ve been on 3 different meds trying for better. At this point I just wanted something familiar that I knew would help me sleep. Iโ€™m looking forward to the side effect as I raise my dose. Itโ€™s hard to know what level of side effects vs. what level of mood to accept and hope to achieve. Such a delicate balance. #depression  #anxiety  #ocd  #insomnia  #medchanges  #emotionalrollercoaster 
Waiting game until Monday when Drs can have a better look at me... Not fainting after I eat will be a nice start and getting a good night's sleep. At least I have a nice view of this beautiful tree! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’” #ptsd #ptsdsucks #trauma #ptsdwarrior #fightptsd #anxiety #depression #medchanges #medchangessuck #mentalhealth #spoonielife #cantsleep #chronicpain #insomnia #irefusetogiveup #itsbeentough #itsneverending #letmesleep #parkinsonsdisease #parkinsons #chronicillness #chronicpainwarrior #spooniestrong #chronicmigraine #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome #potssyndrome
Waiting game until Monday when Drs can have a better look at me... Not fainting after I eat will be a nice start and getting a good night's sleep. At least I have a nice view of this beautiful tree! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’” #ptsd  #ptsdsucks  #trauma  #ptsdwarrior  #fightptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #mentalhealth  #spoonielife  #cantsleep  #chronicpain  #insomnia  #irefusetogiveup  #itsbeentough  #itsneverending  #letmesleep  #parkinsonsdisease  #parkinsons  #chronicillness  #chronicpainwarrior  #spooniestrong  #chronicmigraine  #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome  #potssyndrome 
Back at Mayo and things arent looking too good  I will be in the hospital a while and they take your phone here. Be gone a while but I hope I get some changes soon. Thanks for supporting me. Follow me on Facebook if you'd like kmdebruynefoto@gmail.com ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ข #ptsd #ptsdsucks #trauma #ptsdwarrior #fightptsd #anxiety #depression #medchanges #medchangessuck #mentalhealth #spoonielife #cantsleep #chronicpain #insomnia #irefusetogiveup #itsbeentough #itsneverending #letmesleep #parkinsonsdisease #parkinsons #chronicillness #chronicpainwarrior #spooniestrong #chronicmigraine #potssyndrome #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome
Back at Mayo and things arent looking too good I will be in the hospital a while and they take your phone here. Be gone a while but I hope I get some changes soon. Thanks for supporting me. Follow me on Facebook if you'd like kmdebruynefoto@gmail.com ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ข #ptsd  #ptsdsucks  #trauma  #ptsdwarrior  #fightptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #mentalhealth  #spoonielife  #cantsleep  #chronicpain  #insomnia  #irefusetogiveup  #itsbeentough  #itsneverending  #letmesleep  #parkinsonsdisease  #parkinsons  #chronicillness  #chronicpainwarrior  #spooniestrong  #chronicmigraine  #potssyndrome  #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome 
Too many health issues for someone my age. ๐Ÿ˜ข

If I were a place I would be an airport or a hotel lobby. So many different people places to go; people to see. Destinations.  Goals. Aspirations. Happy hellos and tearful farewells.

#ptsd #ptsdsucks #trauma #ptsdwarrior #fightptsd #anxiety #depression #medchanges #medchangessuck #mentalhealth #spoonielife #cantsleep #chronicpain #insomnia #irefusetogiveup #itsbeentough #itsneverending #letmesleep #parkinsonsdisease #parkinsons #chronicillness #chronicpainwarrior #spooniestrong #chronicmigraine #potssyndrome #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome
Too many health issues for someone my age. ๐Ÿ˜ข If I were a place I would be an airport or a hotel lobby. So many different people places to go; people to see. Destinations. Goals. Aspirations. Happy hellos and tearful farewells. #ptsd  #ptsdsucks  #trauma  #ptsdwarrior  #fightptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #mentalhealth  #spoonielife  #cantsleep  #chronicpain  #insomnia  #irefusetogiveup  #itsbeentough  #itsneverending  #letmesleep  #parkinsonsdisease  #parkinsons  #chronicillness  #chronicpainwarrior  #spooniestrong  #chronicmigraine  #potssyndrome  #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome 
Ohmigosh you guys.... Yesterday I had a complete brain fart! ๐Ÿ˜…I opened my pill box at work for my afternoon pills and was worried I forgot a pill. I knew I had a 5 hour window to take them. So I ended up cancelling the plans I had after work to go home and take my pill. ๐Ÿ˜ฉOnly to remember that just this past week the doctor stopped that particular medication. ๐Ÿ˜ณI mean.... Thank goodness it's the weekend! And for me, it's my Friday.... Oy vey! ๐Ÿ™ƒI mean thank goodness I sort my pills before hand with my med list in front of me because I'm still getting used to all of these med changes. ๐Ÿ”น
#posttransplantlife #kidneytransplant #kidneyrecipient #kidneydonor #kidneystrong #knowyourmeds #medchanges #oldladygang
Ohmigosh you guys.... Yesterday I had a complete brain fart! ๐Ÿ˜…I opened my pill box at work for my afternoon pills and was worried I forgot a pill. I knew I had a 5 hour window to take them. So I ended up cancelling the plans I had after work to go home and take my pill. ๐Ÿ˜ฉOnly to remember that just this past week the doctor stopped that particular medication. ๐Ÿ˜ณI mean.... Thank goodness it's the weekend! And for me, it's my Friday.... Oy vey! ๐Ÿ™ƒI mean thank goodness I sort my pills before hand with my med list in front of me because I'm still getting used to all of these med changes. ๐Ÿ”น #posttransplantlife  #kidneytransplant  #kidneyrecipient  #kidneydonor  #kidneystrong  #knowyourmeds  #medchanges  #oldladygang 
Fighting the continued losing battle with my health. That's okay though I still have places to go and explore and that's all that matters ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ #ptsd #ptsdsucks #trauma #ptsdwarrior #fightptsd #anxiety #depression #medchanges #medchangessuck #mentalhealth #spoonielife #cantsleep #chronicpain #insomnia #irefusetogiveup #itsbeentough #itsneverending #letmesleep #parkinsonsdisease #parkinsons #chronicillness #chronicpainwarrior #spooniestrong #chronicmigraine
Fighting the continued losing battle with my health. That's okay though I still have places to go and explore and that's all that matters ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ #ptsd  #ptsdsucks  #trauma  #ptsdwarrior  #fightptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #mentalhealth  #spoonielife  #cantsleep  #chronicpain  #insomnia  #irefusetogiveup  #itsbeentough  #itsneverending  #letmesleep  #parkinsonsdisease  #parkinsons  #chronicillness  #chronicpainwarrior  #spooniestrong  #chronicmigraine 
I have literally slept on and off all damn day... again after not sleeping all night. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
Med changes are so rough on me especially when they make me so damn groggy in the morning and then I sleep all day until like 9pm and then I'm wide awake. I don't care what my doctor says- this pill is being moved to the night. I can't be doing this. 
#medchanges #spoonielife #sickchicklife
I have literally slept on and off all damn day... again after not sleeping all night. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ Med changes are so rough on me especially when they make me so damn groggy in the morning and then I sleep all day until like 9pm and then I'm wide awake. I don't care what my doctor says- this pill is being moved to the night. I can't be doing this. #medchanges  #spoonielife  #sickchicklife 
I may be 30 years old but when I'm as sick as I am, i still let my mom take care of me. Today has been awful between feeling like hell and getting devastating news. #sick #medchanges #lovemymom #kratom #momtime #lifesaver
Hiking.  All I do now!! Have I mentioned I never sleep anymore? They changed my meds and now all I do is worry and remember things that happened and have dissociation and nightmares and it's awful ๐Ÿ˜ฃ. Day 10 no sleep unless I take ambian I've lost track now... #ptsd #ptsdsucks #trauma #ptsdwarrior #fightptsd #anxiety #depression #medchanges #medchangessuck #mentalhealth #spoonielife #cantsleep #chronicpain #insomnia #irefusetogiveup #itsbeentough #itsneverending #letmesleep #parkinsonsdisease #potssyndrome #chronicillness #chronicpainwarrior #spooniestrong #chronicmigraine
Hiking. All I do now!! Have I mentioned I never sleep anymore? They changed my meds and now all I do is worry and remember things that happened and have dissociation and nightmares and it's awful ๐Ÿ˜ฃ. Day 10 no sleep unless I take ambian I've lost track now... #ptsd  #ptsdsucks  #trauma  #ptsdwarrior  #fightptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #medchanges  #medchangessuck  #mentalhealth  #spoonielife  #cantsleep  #chronicpain  #insomnia  #irefusetogiveup  #itsbeentough  #itsneverending  #letmesleep  #parkinsonsdisease  #potssyndrome  #chronicillness  #chronicpainwarrior  #spooniestrong  #chronicmigraine 
All the time! I'm very good at hiding what I'm really feeling and this summer has been such a slump. So many med changes but I'm finally starting to feel better and be less of a hermit. I've neglected this account, mostly because I've been so flat and blah I haven't had motivation for anything. But I'm trying to enjoy my life more now rather than just hiding out at home with my dogs. #depression #ptsd #anxiety #medchanges #mentalhealth #mentalillness #changes #tryingtobepositive
All the time! I'm very good at hiding what I'm really feeling and this summer has been such a slump. So many med changes but I'm finally starting to feel better and be less of a hermit. I've neglected this account, mostly because I've been so flat and blah I haven't had motivation for anything. But I'm trying to enjoy my life more now rather than just hiding out at home with my dogs. #depression  #ptsd  #anxiety  #medchanges  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #changes  #tryingtobepositive 
Med changes do suck. Lack of sleep = zombie ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ต
#letmesleep #cantsleep #artwork #artfortheprocess #arthelps #makeart #medchanges #bipolarartist #mentalillness #timetotalk
My definition of a "fun fact" is surprisingly NOT THE SAME as the pharmaceutical industry's. #medchanges #latuda #bipolardisorder #antipsychotics
I finally had an appetite today!!! The first in almost a week! I'm so happy! #medchanges #noappetite #mentalillness
This tapering off of seroquel has me feeling all over the place. I am so looking forward to being off of it completely! #medchanges #taperingoffmeds #seroquel #anxietyhell #panicattack #moodstabilizer #bipolardisorder #cyclothymia #mooddisorders #onedayatatime
Waking up with the windows open to a #sunrise and #sky like this. It's great to be alive.. All things going well.. finally back to my #quirky self. Fingers crossed this will be the last time in hospital for #medchanges time to get on with life.. get my licence and job with #homelessyouth. Bring it on I'm ready โ˜บโ˜บโ˜บ
Waking up with the windows open to a #sunrise  and #sky  like this. It's great to be alive.. All things going well.. finally back to my #quirky  self. Fingers crossed this will be the last time in hospital for #medchanges  time to get on with life.. get my licence and job with #homelessyouth . Bring it on I'm ready โ˜บโ˜บโ˜บ
Packing & unpacking skills down to a fine art.. bring on total #medchanges enough with not being myself.. Please #universe be on my side this time and make it a quick vist & this time they work. enough with #hospital visits I miss Max cat too much.. but gotta get this head screwed back on.. there's a fine line between ur brain felling like it's going to snap and sanity.. lucky not in psychward grateful to be apart of the #alcholrehab part of hospital. Brain still functioning #sober is a #miracle
Packing & unpacking skills down to a fine art.. bring on total #medchanges  enough with not being myself.. Please #universe  be on my side this time and make it a quick vist & this time they work. enough with #hospital  visits I miss Max cat too much.. but gotta get this head screwed back on.. there's a fine line between ur brain felling like it's going to snap and sanity.. lucky not in psychward grateful to be apart of the #alcholrehab  part of hospital. Brain still functioning #sober  is a #miracle 
Hooray for Med changes!! No more SSRI's for me. Am I the only one who they make feel dead inside after a few months? They turn me into an emotionless, unmotivated zombie. Never again. Going back on Wellbutrin which will hopefully help me stop smoking as well. Since I've tapered down off my SSRI I have cut my smoking in half which just proves it increased my anxiety instead of relieving it. Never be afraid to change your meds if they aren't working for you. Antidepressants are like dating, you have to try a bunch of them before you find the right one. I am looking forward to feeling better soon #ptsd #anxiety #depression #antidepressants #ssri #medchanges #mentalhealth #ptsdrecovery #anxietydisorder
Hooray for Med changes!! No more SSRI's for me. Am I the only one who they make feel dead inside after a few months? They turn me into an emotionless, unmotivated zombie. Never again. Going back on Wellbutrin which will hopefully help me stop smoking as well. Since I've tapered down off my SSRI I have cut my smoking in half which just proves it increased my anxiety instead of relieving it. Never be afraid to change your meds if they aren't working for you. Antidepressants are like dating, you have to try a bunch of them before you find the right one. I am looking forward to feeling better soon #ptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #antidepressants  #ssri  #medchanges  #mentalhealth  #ptsdrecovery  #anxietydisorder 
Quote snatched from Pinterest!! I'm in an unbelievably foul mood today, I'm so beyond tired which doesn't help. All the med changes etc have really knocked me about tbh, I'm more annoyed coz I had such a good day yesterday ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” #depression #spoonie #medchanges #ibrokemymoodswing #runforcover #approachwithextremecaution #aspie #behindthemakeup
Rough day coming off the klonopin. Heading to bed early hoping to finally sleep. Doused in essential oils please let me sleep I can't take another night without sleep. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!
#klonopin #withdrawals #epilepsyfighter #epilepsywarrior #weaningoffmymeds #exhausted #medchanges #insomnia #sleepyhead #pitbullsofinstagram #thisiswhatepilepsylookslike #tomorrowwillbebetter #invisibleillness #sideeffects #itainteasy
When ur still struggling with #medchanges and one of ur #beautiful inmates buys you a bunch of beautiful #flowers helps with the flow of writing #positiveaffirmations which we did a session on writing #affimations... "I enjoy being #soberandclean to be the best person I can be for myself, and for others" ... "I will overcome this wave of #depression #justfortoday #ittowillpass and #happiness will flow through me again"
When ur psych has taken a chainsaw to ur #medications and all you want to do is crawl up into a ball and #cry.. but you can't.. All you want to do is to be home with ur #cat but ur hiding. #thistoshallpass it's only going to get better from now on.. it's just going to take sometime for the new stuff to settle in with the old.. far better than before but #withdrawals suck.. how the duck I'm still #soberandclean I don't know.. Thank you #higherpower but please enough with the #medchanges and #hospital #peaceofmind is coming back. #taketheredpill #takethebluepill #thematrix meets #aliceinwonderland
When ur psych has taken a chainsaw to ur #medications  and all you want to do is crawl up into a ball and #cry .. but you can't.. All you want to do is to be home with ur #cat  but ur hiding. #thistoshallpass  it's only going to get better from now on.. it's just going to take sometime for the new stuff to settle in with the old.. far better than before but #withdrawals  suck.. how the duck I'm still #soberandclean  I don't know.. Thank you #higherpower  but please enough with the #medchanges  and #hospital  #peaceofmind  is coming back. #taketheredpill  #takethebluepill  #thematrix  meets #aliceinwonderland 
Throw back to when was in hospital over a month ago for #relapseprevention / #medchanges.. In a shared room & you would make #swantowels for ur roomie as a joke.. This was her one for me.. #wishIhadof #mademybed #betterthatday
Shot day ๐Ÿ˜ญ It's really not that bad, but I really wish it was doing more for me. We doubled the dose last month, and no change yet. Still on daily steroids. Still on methotrexate. I won't be surprised if at my Rheumatologist appointment next week we change meds again. *Sigh* #spoone #spoonielife #injections #medchanges #autoimmune #biologic #arthritis #psoriaticarthritis
Dinner anyone? THIS IS HOSPITAL FOOD IN HIGH OBS! This is what someone struggling with an eating disorder was suppose to eat for dinner tonight. There was so much grease on it, i tpipped it and it slowly slid across the plate. NO I WILL NOT EAT THIS! The cheese was congealed. I tried. Even added pepper. There was just no way it was happening... GAG.

Good news... I MAY be decertified tomorrow. Just not discharged. Today was a very rough day in the life of this chick. I hope tomorrow is better. I hope tonight is better than last night, because i didnt get much sleep last night. One moment at a time... ๐Ÿ˜ต #eatingdisorder #anxiety #depression #admitted #committed #certified #hospital #medchanges #badday #highobs #macandcheese #dinner #meals #newfoundland
Dinner anyone? THIS IS HOSPITAL FOOD IN HIGH OBS! This is what someone struggling with an eating disorder was suppose to eat for dinner tonight. There was so much grease on it, i tpipped it and it slowly slid across the plate. NO I WILL NOT EAT THIS! The cheese was congealed. I tried. Even added pepper. There was just no way it was happening... GAG. Good news... I MAY be decertified tomorrow. Just not discharged. Today was a very rough day in the life of this chick. I hope tomorrow is better. I hope tonight is better than last night, because i didnt get much sleep last night. One moment at a time... ๐Ÿ˜ต #eatingdisorder  #anxiety  #depression  #admitted  #committed  #certified  #hospital  #medchanges  #badday  #highobs  #macandcheese  #dinner  #meals  #newfoundland 
7:11am #upandatem working on #artpice #pendandink. "The Thing I hate the Most About #Sobriety is The #Overthinking" #recovery #medchanges
Part 2. He doesn't know how bad I used to be before I was on the right medications & doses. I just hope he's ready incase things go wrong. It's fine to change people's medications, but that's people's life, that's what has kept them sane & you shouldn't just make changes for the hell of it. Not to say that he is, he is a fantastic doctor, but I guess I'm in a weird headspace at the moment & things are getting to me. Hopefully things will settle down soon. Hope you all have a fab weekend. #inpatient #psych #psychiatrist #MDD #CPTSD #GAD #majordepressivedisorder #complexptsd #generalizedanxietydisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #meds #medication #medchanges #SOS #makeitstop #itcanonlygetbetter #thinkpositive
Part 2. He doesn't know how bad I used to be before I was on the right medications & doses. I just hope he's ready incase things go wrong. It's fine to change people's medications, but that's people's life, that's what has kept them sane & you shouldn't just make changes for the hell of it. Not to say that he is, he is a fantastic doctor, but I guess I'm in a weird headspace at the moment & things are getting to me. Hopefully things will settle down soon. Hope you all have a fab weekend. #inpatient  #psych  #psychiatrist  #MDD  #CPTSD  #GAD  #majordepressivedisorder  #complexptsd  #generalizedanxietydisorder  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #meds  #medication  #medchanges  #SOS  #makeitstop  #itcanonlygetbetter  #thinkpositive 
It's hard to create when you don't feel well. I've been staying on top of orders pretty well, but there are soooo many things I want to create. Including new yoga and Pilates illustrations! Stay tuned because one of these days I'll be ready. ๐Ÿ’• #medchanges #sideeffects #seizuressuck #epilepsyawareness
It's hard to create when you don't feel well. I've been staying on top of orders pretty well, but there are soooo many things I want to create. Including new yoga and Pilates illustrations! Stay tuned because one of these days I'll be ready. ๐Ÿ’• #medchanges  #sideeffects  #seizuressuck  #epilepsyawareness 
My father, re: my posting honestly to Facebook. Aka why I'm not there anymore. Freudian slip on his part; he said "provoke" and as far as I can tell meant "people." Thanks, social media! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ #speakup #fightstigma #speakout #fuckstigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #socialmedia #facebook #seekingunderstanding #family #agoraphobia #anxiety #panic #trauma #depression #meds #medication #withdrawal #medchanges #chronicillness #chronicpain #spoonie #spoonless #invisibleillness #butyoudontlooksick #zebralife #pmdd #hypermobility #shame
My father, re: my posting honestly to Facebook. Aka why I'm not there anymore. Freudian slip on his part; he said "provoke" and as far as I can tell meant "people." Thanks, social media! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ #speakup  #fightstigma  #speakout  #fuckstigma  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #socialmedia  #facebook  #seekingunderstanding  #family  #agoraphobia  #anxiety  #panic  #trauma  #depression  #meds  #medication  #withdrawal  #medchanges  #chronicillness  #chronicpain  #spoonie  #spoonless  #invisibleillness  #butyoudontlooksick  #zebralife  #pmdd  #hypermobility  #shame 
Somehow ended up here for breakfast in the courtyard. Weird. Day 4 (so 3 doses) of new medication. My dr said I should notice stuff within 3-4 days. 
Am legit concerned about the "hyperglycemia" side effect, considering I'm already scheduled for a fasting glucose test and that's probably what caused the seizure however many years ago, but my one dr said it should be fine and my other's on vacation. Sugar's been okay to me lately, but I should be cutting back again anyway if anything shows up on the test, or just because my energy was so freaking stable for two years. Maybe if I'd gotten to choose the location of my apartment. And, you know, in case I ever make it far enough from my apartment to get a zillion tests done. (I did actually go in to see my dr for once, but that was bc I had a friend and a ride). Then I completely forgot to make any follow up appts, so oops. I really hate calling. Blah. Too whiny considering how pretty it is, I guess, and I won't get into what's actually got me super stressed (I'm not sure I ever really do), but the birds are super loud and there's a good chance I only slept 2 hours because my brain won't let me sleep past 5-7 am. Then my body realizes I'm not hyperthyroid and I pass out for a while, which is what I did yesterday, ergo last night. Hope the morning's a good one for you! ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ”† #spoonie #meds #medchanges #latuda #pcos #pmdd #thyroid #hypothyroidism #hashimotos #depression #mentalhealth #fuckstigma 
@nakedjuice @chobani #juliemurphy #sideeffectsmayvary #mango #nakedjuice #chobani #coffee #breakfast
Somehow ended up here for breakfast in the courtyard. Weird. Day 4 (so 3 doses) of new medication. My dr said I should notice stuff within 3-4 days. Am legit concerned about the "hyperglycemia" side effect, considering I'm already scheduled for a fasting glucose test and that's probably what caused the seizure however many years ago, but my one dr said it should be fine and my other's on vacation. Sugar's been okay to me lately, but I should be cutting back again anyway if anything shows up on the test, or just because my energy was so freaking stable for two years. Maybe if I'd gotten to choose the location of my apartment. And, you know, in case I ever make it far enough from my apartment to get a zillion tests done. (I did actually go in to see my dr for once, but that was bc I had a friend and a ride). Then I completely forgot to make any follow up appts, so oops. I really hate calling. Blah. Too whiny considering how pretty it is, I guess, and I won't get into what's actually got me super stressed (I'm not sure I ever really do), but the birds are super loud and there's a good chance I only slept 2 hours because my brain won't let me sleep past 5-7 am. Then my body realizes I'm not hyperthyroid and I pass out for a while, which is what I did yesterday, ergo last night. Hope the morning's a good one for you! ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ”† #spoonie  #meds  #medchanges  #latuda  #pcos  #pmdd  #thyroid  #hypothyroidism  #hashimotos  #depression  #mentalhealth  #fuckstigma  @nakedjuice @chobani #juliemurphy  #sideeffectsmayvary  #mango  #nakedjuice  #chobani  #coffee  #breakfast 
Pristiq. Lexapro. Lovan. Clomipramine. Clomipramine with lithium. Clomipramine with tertroxin.
And now 7th times the charm - mirtazepine with venelfaxine. #medchanges
Pristiq. Lexapro. Lovan. Clomipramine. Clomipramine with lithium. Clomipramine with tertroxin. And now 7th times the charm - mirtazepine with venelfaxine. #medchanges 
Today's cool sox. (+ Bucky wanting a lap!) When I saw the psych Dr last time we changed my meds a bit, but we may need to go back to the way things were. Which will suck becuz it's really helped lower my anxiety levels. I use a tracking app called Trackender to keep track of practically *everything* so I'm going to wait another week or two and keep a close eye on anything besides my meds that may be causing the problem. Like last night I was up later than usual :( even though I took my meds early, but that might be why I'm having so much trouble really waking up this morning. And I'm going to start to try to keep track of my spoon levels, to see if those are maybe being affected. I don't think they are, but it would be good to know. This complicated dance of sorts that I do with my meds is very tricky & sometimes gets me down, but it's necessary, becuz I want to have as ordinary a life as I can get. (Or maybe extraordinary, but only in a good way! ๐Ÿ˜„)(also, don't want to be suicidal!) I may never really be ordinary again, but I can try w/ meds & therapy. โ˜บ #agoraphobia #anxiety #depression #meds #medchanges #keepingtrackofthingsisnecessary #trackender #app #hugehelp #spoonie #keepingtrackofspoonlevels #maybeaffectedbymeds #itsallsobleepingcomplicated
Today's cool sox. (+ Bucky wanting a lap!) When I saw the psych Dr last time we changed my meds a bit, but we may need to go back to the way things were. Which will suck becuz it's really helped lower my anxiety levels. I use a tracking app called Trackender to keep track of practically *everything* so I'm going to wait another week or two and keep a close eye on anything besides my meds that may be causing the problem. Like last night I was up later than usual :( even though I took my meds early, but that might be why I'm having so much trouble really waking up this morning. And I'm going to start to try to keep track of my spoon levels, to see if those are maybe being affected. I don't think they are, but it would be good to know. This complicated dance of sorts that I do with my meds is very tricky & sometimes gets me down, but it's necessary, becuz I want to have as ordinary a life as I can get. (Or maybe extraordinary, but only in a good way! ๐Ÿ˜„)(also, don't want to be suicidal!) I may never really be ordinary again, but I can try w/ meds & therapy. โ˜บ #agoraphobia  #anxiety  #depression  #meds  #medchanges  #keepingtrackofthingsisnecessary  #trackender  #app  #hugehelp  #spoonie  #keepingtrackofspoonlevels  #maybeaffectedbymeds  #itsallsobleepingcomplicated 
Last night of no anti d It's probably going to be another sleepless night start new ones tomorrow a few more sleepless nights when I start them I downloaded Wentworth s3 to watch tonight on my iq #medchanges #anxious #lightattheendofthetunnel #depressed
A birds eye view of the couch Saturday night "again" it's split night toilet to couch & back. #medchanges #depression #stillnox
This is what my head feels like right now & know one is going to be invited ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ก ask the distance hero at the shop before not so tuff face to face Hate feeling like that I should be better #medwithdrawls #medchanges #anxiety #argryasfuck
This is what my head feels like right now & know one is going to be invited ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ก ask the distance hero at the shop before not so tuff face to face Hate feeling like that I should be better #medwithdrawls  #medchanges  #anxiety  #argryasfuck 
Day 2 of withdrawing got a phic appointment Thursday #medchanges #selfpity  #depressed
Times like today I really miss having a special someone  on the couch with me ๐Ÿ˜•#medchanges #depression
Times like today I really miss having a special someone on the couch with me ๐Ÿ˜•#medchanges  #depression 
Even Brooklyn 99 isn't cheering me up #brooklyn99 #medchanges #depression ๐Ÿ˜•