I like to think that I'm not a big complainer. Especially about what I'm going through. I tried not to let my daily agony bleed into the rest of my world and I'm not perfect but I did my best. Now this... My surgeon told me that this would be bad. He said it's one of the most painful surgeries with a long hard recovery road ahead.
But there was nothing in this world that could have prepared me for how bad this is. I'm in so much pain I can't sleep or eat or get to the bathroom without tears in my eyes. I literally could not survive without someone helping me do everything (shout out moms!) Plus I can't eat solid food, my stomach is so angry, when I try to sleep the blinding pain in my shin lights up until I wake, sometimes shots of pain just explode up my leg for no apparent reason. Surgery wasn't the hard part, this right now is the hard part and will keep being hard for a long time. I don't want to do this, I didn't want any of this but I don't get a choice. I have to keep going, cuz curling up in a broken ball forever just isn't an option.