Любите ли вы те места, которые помнят вас детьми? Те места, которые помнят вас шумными? Полными надежд? Те места, где растет много подорожника? Которые знают все ваши сказки и истории? Вы не знали их, когда были детьми, потому что в это время вы сладко спали. Но постепенно мы превращается во взрослых, и приходим сюда в середине ночи, когда поют только самые ранние птахи. И вспоминаем все, что было нам так дорого и сладко. Ноет где-то в груди... Облака начинают рассеиваться и за горизонтом появляются первые намеки рассвета. Ведь новый день еще не начался и все еще впереди, ведь так?
Kindness is strength. It is an asset, always. If someone tries to take advantage of your kindness, it really says so much more about them than it does about you. And you know the best way to get back at them? Continue to be kind. (and also remember that karma is real #karmapolice#yougetwhatyougive ) 🍀
It's a numbness,
It's the numbness that originates from the pain in your chest,which stabs you like a sharp knife everytime your heart throbs.
It's the numbness, as if running through your veins, that makes your fingers numb, and your whole body numbs.
What follows the numbness is the suffocation in your throat, insufficient air going into your lungs, and your inability to see even though you have your eyes open.
You might take a deep breath and notice it makes the pain in your chest worse. You might realize now that you are hurting; internal indescribable pain. Then you know: "Something bad has happened to you." It's not really a problem when you feel the numbness when something bad is happening. You experienced bad things, you were supposed to be hurt, period.
But you might be experiencing that numbness even when good things are happening. Like you want to be happy, you want to let yourself be happy, you want to let yourself be smiling; but you can't.
You ARE smiling. Just not internally; not truely though, no. You feel that god-for-saken numbness, that disloyalty, unfaithfulness, ignorance and loss had you started inside your chest. So you don't let you be happy. You stopped happiness, joy penetrating into your skin; your heart.
What's the point, anyway? You are numb. You were never going to feel it.
And because you knew it won't matter. Every sparks of joy you feel are like fireworks that light up the sky but gone in a split of a second and leave pitch black darkness behind; as always.
In those joyful moments, you are not really happy anyway. You know there's a shadow, the numbness, which has become a part of you, lurking in your heart, that is always ready to come out at any split of a second.
You won't believe what I'm seeing right now.. This chilly, rainy, yet foggy enough night has devoured all the mountains.. It has engulfed every single star in the sky too.. Through this blanket of white.. All I can see is the flashing neon lights of certain towers that's it.. Believe me when I tell you it is par the word which means beautiful.. Its extraordinary.. maybe extravagant.. This sight is breath taking.. The fog at the top of the mountains.. The tiny flickering lights from the town at the bottom.. It reminds me of a discothèque.. Strange comparison I know.. But this is exactly what it feels like in there.. Heavy smoke.. Flashing lights.. & dimly lit atmosphere.. Cathartic.. Bliss.. & a huge crowd swooning over the sounds of some music they can hardly understand.. I can feel the same ecstasy right here.. Right now.. I dont have no music.. But the gushing sounds of the stream flowing near by provides enough of the trance that I need.. Sitting on these stairs at post11 in the night.. Covered in pitch black darkness.. Listening to nothing but the calls of the nature.. How more serene could it get..?? It's beautiful out here.. I don't see my best friend today.. usually I talk to him trough my window.. Today.. Neither my parents know what I'm upto.. Nor the Moon.. Its just me.. my necrophilia.. & my beautiful kiddo Tyson (My Dog :p) savouring the cold of the night.. Munching on the insides of the cheeks to keep the teeth from getting us busted.. & every time I breathe in the cold.. I exhale nothing but chunks of Beauty Of Loneliness.. (Maybe..?? Maybe not..!!) 😊 #ToBeContinued#Musings#MidnightThoughts#MidnightMusings#FitfulWritings#FitfulWriter#PessimisticWriter#PessimismIsFun#NeedToFinishIt#Necrophilia#Necrophile#DogLove#Peaceout#PeaceoutForReal
There was a girl stumbles across hot yoga, and she is loving it.
Then she stumbles across Instagram, and she is loving it.
Then she stumbles across random dude IG profile doing all handstand, she was in awe wishing she was born with that talent.
She learn blindly how to stand on her hands from zero.
Copping what ever she saw on @patrickbeach IG 5years back. Including blindfolded handstand while she cant even do free stand handstand.
No gymnastic yet, no calisthenics yet, no contortions yet.
All she ever wants just to be able to stand on her two hands anywhere anytime. Thats all. She thinks it will make her feels powerful.
Thousands kicks after, many injuries, many trips to clinic and massage table, tears and blood, she stand on her hands in 6 months.
On one good late night yoga class, while she was the only one in class who can do all the asana 'perfectly', her teacher/best friend said to her: "You are not doing Yoga, you are doing yoga poses."
**confuse & angry**
Fast forward few years being known as one of the strongest yogi. She start to realize people know her as a strong yogi not as herself.
She pause. . .
She ask herself:
Who am I without handstand?
Who is Maya without fancy yoga poses?
Do people still wanna hangout with me?
Do they will still think I'm cool?
. . .
In a little more than a month. She stops her handstand practice completely, she learn it's ok to not be the strongest.
She learn those who leave her with no handstand wasn't meant to be there with her.
She learn it's not the handstand. It's all the asana addict that elevate the coolness fake emotions. And never satisfy with herself. Never pat her own back for trying so hard. .
She step back, organically change her practice, still doing handstand with different perspective. Cause she decide to be friend with herself first.
She is happier now even not be able to hold handstand as long as before.