Today is my birthday n i want to celebrate with my family but.......
Maka hari masok lah 19 tahun umur aq.. Awal thun bru ni aq pikir nk smbut hri lahir aq dgn family tpi xthu plok bule 11 ni xdok cuti jdi xleh la aq nk klik smbut kg.. Thun depe jgok la jwabnyo klu pjng umur lah... Hujung bule 12 ko awal thun ko xthu kli ko dok tpi aq rindu sangat ku umi nih.. Walaupun hari2 nefon ku umi... Hahahahahahahahaha... #mybirthday#missmyfamily#missmycousin#missmyfriends#missmykkg#nakbalik#kelantan#22 /11
I lied because there's no reason to love someone like me. #missmycousin
Some Time we Have to STOP! Appreciate Not what we do or dont have but just to be alive. One thing my cousin murder showed me what we do here stays with those alive. What we buy Just stays there. I saw the projects he was building his Tools & its just there. His Death Really put me to think. Why do we stress at the end of that day nothing matters only to leave memories to those who stayed behind. #missmycousin#rip#god#photooftheday
November 12 2009... a day I will never forget..... I was up at a gun range training. When at the end of my evening I recall looking at my phone and seeing too many missed calls for things to be ok. I gathered up my stuff and called one of the family members that had called me in the parking lot. It was dark and all I remember was screaming “No” over and over....the words “Bill is dead he shot himself” rang in my head over and over again on my way home.
8 years later I couldn’t tell you how I made it home. I don’t remember.
I know that on that night I lost someone who I loved in one of the most tragic ways ever. He was my cousin but he was like a brother.
Work wouldn’t give me bereavement for this. In fact I took an entire week off using my own time accruals. It wasn’t enough. 8 years later and it’s still not enough. Suicide is not sometime people just heal from. It’s something we learn to live with, we (his family and friends) have learned to accept.
I miss my cousin Bill everyday. I miss him greatly. I always will....