I haven't blogged for the last couple of days as it's been ridiculously busy . We spent the whole day yesterday at uppingham theatre doing tech and band call for Rock of Ages, which opens this week . Was physically exhausted when we rolled into bed at midnight but least i know that i will be very active this week going on yesterday's activities. I will make amends today with my blog although I did the meal plan and frantic online shop late last night for todays arrival and the meals are all very light and boring .
But for now , below is a post that my husband put up on his social media on Saturday night after I hit 5 stone loss accompanied by the comparison picture above. It made me cry of course but hearing these kind amazing, supportive words from your best friend was just over whelming . Never be shy to tell someone how amazing they have done. The effects that has on someone is something you cannot explain. "Words just cannot express how proud I am of this hot little rock chick. I know I keep banging on about it but she has come so far over the last 15 months.
Tomorrow she goes into her very first show week, having plucked up enough courage to join the cast of Rock of Ages, something which a year ago she never would have dreamed of doing.
A year ago she would also never have dreamed of being the size she is today. And yet this morning she officially reached a whopping 5st total weight loss.
I've always loved Sam Brown and I have always found her beautiful, regardless. But when I look at the comparison picture below, I am reminded of just how far she has come, how much hard work she has put in and what a difference the last year has made to her life.
I mean look at the picture..... Jesus." I love this man ❤
I have had to take a quick break from studying because I cannot concentrate today. I am struggling today. I'm anxious, negative, doubting and worrying about everything and I'm pretty certain it's all down to lack of sleep. Someone I talk to a lot told me the other day they think I'm taking on too much. I think they may be right . If I found more time to get a full nights sleep I think I would be ok. There is no reason why I cannot balance everything without failing something else but today I am working myself up , nothing is sinking in ... well the odd bit ... and I only know this because of the results from the little online tests I do .... and all I want to do is eat chocolate and then sleep . I'm not going to give in to chocolate. I Don't have any in the house for starters , I can't give in for the day and rest because then I'll get behind... so today I think I'm slowly crumbling. Lol and feeling very out of my depth in many aspects . An hour until I pick my little ray of sunshine up and then maybe a couple of hours break will 're focus me a looooonnnnggg night of study..... with no chocolate. I'm your typical comfort eater .
My lunch today was one egg split between two sandwich thins, weight watchers yoghurt and grapes.
It's been a work day for me today followed by an afternoon doing Maisie's homework. The homework we have known about since she went back after summer and the homework due in in three days! 🙈 for someone who prides themself on organisation , I have failed rather miserably at this particular task and now its a case of last minute. Com!! Just figuring out our family tree and jotting it down on paper for Maisie was a mission in itself and a degree is needed for it! Don't get me wrong, I know how to do a family tree ... But trying to fit our very large and very un average family onto a piece of paper was quite a mission . A sheet of wallpaper would be more sufficient !! Anyway after smugly mastering that I then had the pleasurable task of getting Maisie to write out three generations of family and step family 🤣 keeping her concentration was also a mission but we got there . Being me , I like to be different . I drew out before work this morning a tree trunk , ready to collect leaves with Maisie to make an actual tree effect .... whilst cooking tea Maisie decided to graffiti on my tree and draw some lovely little people running away from the tree 🤣 little sod! I can see how this is going to go tomorrow . Mummy here will spend the evening after rehearsals cutting and sticking to get it finished for her.
I have done my first online tutorial tonight for my degree which I loved and I got a picture of me after a week of doing the 30 days abs challenge . I am not sure there is a difference yet if I am honest?? Maybe a very slight difference but I think the camera angle is slightly different too which makes it hard to compare but I shall keep going and plugging away at it . It's 15 minutes out of my evening of which I won't miss but it's better than sitting down for that extra 15 minutes. 💪
Busy old day today, although I think that is now my life now I have so much going on. A year ago I spent every evening sat in front of the tv with no hopes, dreams or motivation.. now my time is divided between Andy, Maisie, shows, healthy eating and exercise , work, law degree, allotment , ballroom dancing and the confidence to socialise more AND there is still one more thing I want to add to that list . My poor TIVO box has never been so full of my trash TV waiting for me to watch . Andy and Maisie will always be my main priority ( being a good wife and the best mum is up most importance to me) and I don't give myself the 'me' time until I know they are happy, loved and have had my attention but regardless of what time it is in the evening I make time for myself now which is something I never did fully before and I never appreciated how important it was. .... getting into the habit of studying on my days off and fitting everything else in around it that I would normally do on my days off is a trial .... so far so good though and I seem to be holding everything together. The family are fed and have clean clothes and the house is tidy ( apart from the table) so I am doing something right . Lunch today was an egg sandwich, weight watchers yoghurt and crisps with a bowl of melon and grapes for snacking on during the studying . Maisie's swimming lesson, a mad dash to pull over the over heating car and day 5 of the abs challenge complete. Tea tonight was cod fillet with vegetables , new potatoes and parsley sauce . A light tea for the night before weigh in . Not feeling confident . Despite being really good and strict this week I think last weekend has caught me up but time will tell tomorrow. Once we have had a quote for the car I imagine I will be sinking into a Cadbury induced coma anyway! 🤣
Exciting picture alert!! At 11 o clock on a Tuesday evening , I'm sat having my tea ! A punnet of grapes. Why??? Because all day I have been a jibbering mess, unable to eat any tea. This evening i sang in front of people on my own, to audition to become a member of Andy's theatre company. 8 weeks ago I sung badly around the house to the radio.... with Andy's invaluable support and guidance I have been working up to tonight . for most of those six weeks I have not had a full nights sleep due to anxiety and worrying about it. Did I nail It? Nope! Nerves made me a crumbling mess . I sang it ok.... hundred times better than I did eight weeks ago.... am I disappointed ?? Yes ... I have nailed it at home so many times and I really wanted to go in there and hit the high notes well.
The achievement though is that I stood tonight , despite feeling sick, exhausted and genuinely terrified and did something so far out of my comfort zone that a year ago I would never have even thought possible . I have gone from not using or knowing how to use my voice to standing in front of people i dont know well and sharing that voice. Confidence is the biggest thing for me and although I could and have ( on numerous occasions sang it better) , I achieved something tonight i never thought possible.
Plus I am now thoroughly looking forward to a full nights sleep and a little break from ' all that jazz!'. I am going to enjoy my grapes, which aren't doing a lot for me considering my food today has literally been salad, and fruit for lunch . And then do day 2 of the 30 day challenge. 💪
It must be about a week since I have posted anything. Why??? Because I have been shite with food! It has been a week of chaos, being here, there and everywhere and late nights, early mornings and I am exhausted and ready for a decent nights sleep. The week began well with the meal plan in place and the food shop done. That was as good as it got. Last Wednesday was our anniversary, and a lunch date with the husband ended up with a burger and chips so large that I had to eat the bloody burger in layers! Then we polished off a fat slice of warm chocolate fudge cake and then Prosecco in evening ( my favourite drink!!) after going to the theatre. Andy has been in The Vicar of Dibley all last week at Melton Theatre, so it has been a week of late nights either watching him in the show or waiting for him to get home so I can see him and shower him with compliments for an outstanding performance!
On Friday, my in laws came for the weekend and we over indulged with a bloody amazing 3 course meal at a relatively local pub. It stuffed me though but was worth it. I have also had pizza and chips and several garlic mushrooms over the course of the week, to the point where I smelt of garlic so much Andy quite matter of factly stated he would rather sleep next to my arse than my face! That is saying something!!So, I have not really had anything inspiring, or healthy to share this week. I did my food plan and food shop last night.... very healthy and light meals this week and collected the shop after work today. This morning I went back into healthy mode and the realisation of what I had eaten this week hit me. It also hit me that in 16 days I will be on stage with my stomach out and right now, it is paying the price and I am not happy. I saw some pictures of me from yesterdays rehearsal and I was not impressed with my figure and my confidence and self esteem has taken a little bit of a knock... so back on it with no excuses.
Due to my massive stomach hang ups, I found this link a couple of days ago. The 30 days Abs challenge. So Andy and I have decided to do it. We have 16 days until show week so figured if we double up all of these exercises each day, we will have results in 15 days instead of 30?!? Does it work like that?? Probably not, but the challenge is set!
Today is Day One..... Andy took our 'before' photos so we can compare. Big step putting them out there. We both looked and cringed at the sight of us..... well me of me and Andy of himself.... I would never cringe at him of course!
So here goes, I will update daily with probably very unflattering photos of us doing said exercises and weekly comparison pictures to see if there is indeed a difference. What is it they say?? Couples who work out together......... ....... I have no idea If i am honest. I am pretty sure I just made that up!! #mywwdiary#mywwfood#myww#mywwjourney2017#mywwjourneycontinues#weightwatchers
Weigh day today. I put a pound on. Which after a cheeky weigh on my scales this morning I was expecting when I got to class but also really cross and irritated with because I had no real explanation for it . I didn't have my normal binge last Saturday like I normally do, I have stayed within my points ( or at least thought) and even been a little more mobile than normal since hurting my back . It's annoying . But on my way to work whilst sorting my handbag ( I was not driving) , I casually tossed aside my mints . My bloody extra strong frigging blooming mints. The bloody frigging mints I have been causally chomping for the last week day in and day out . A quick check on the weight watchers app and they are 5 points a mint. What an absolute twat I am. I have probably In fact doubled my points allowance daily this week.... So in actual fact the pound is nothing .... I got off lightly in fact .
Lesson learned and it was enough to not make me have my usual Saturday binge . I have stayed within points, using some weeklies but for the first time I know how many weeklies I have had and kept on track so feeling positive . 4 weeks until show week and I need need need my belly flat!
I have bought some mini chocolate bars today because I have changed my focus . I am now planning on having one anytime during the week that I fancy one ( providing I have points left) rather than binging on a Saturday. At least until show week, Saturday will just be any other day. 💪
Flashback Friday! When you need a reminder with a comparison shot to realise just how far you have come... you look at it but you still don't actually believe it because the 'before " picture is just like looking at a completely different person. I don't recognise the person in the first picture anymore . It's such a bizarre feeling.
Apart from losing chins and now having a more defined face shape my identity has changed too.... the style of clothes I wear, the make up I wear , how I wear my hair , my ability to have a photo without being embarrassed . I have found the real me that was hiding away for so long.
I have had a few compliments passed back to me of recent, some from the opposite sex ... some calling me hot or sexy . I can't accept that. I can't get my head around that and I don't see it. Do I look at a picture now without cringing ? Absolutely! Can I tell that I look better than I once did? Sure I can. But to be referred to as sexy or hot??! I just cannot get my head around that. Sexiness comes from confidence no matter what size and although mine has trebled it's still not peaked enough that I could say I have sex appeal. It just makes me laugh or feel uncomfortable.
But what I do feel when I look at pictures like this is pride. I have done something I, nor my husband, never believed I would. To stick and persevere at something which offers so many " get out of jail free cards" along the way . I have refused most of them , with a few wobbles and I have done something for Me, for my family, and for my health.
If I can do It, so can you !! #mywwdiary#mywwfood#myww#mywwjourney#mywwjourneyuk#mywwjourneycontinues#mywwjournal#mywwjourney2017#weightwatchersblog#weightwatcherssupport#weightlosstransformation#flashbackfriday#weightwatchers#weightwatchersuk#weightwatchers360#weightwatchersfamily#weightwatchersfooddiary#weightwatcherscommunity#50shadesoflife#foodblogger#foodblogging#instadailly#instadiet#instafood
It's been a little bit of a lazy day today. I took my tablets far too late last night and subsequently went into some sort of coma like sleep. On the positive side it's the first night in a long time I slept right through the night without waking with my anxiety nightmares. On the negative side, Andy was awake nice and early listening to my many alarms going off for two hours 🙈 sorry AB! He then struggled to wake me even with coffee aromas and I have spent the whole day feeling hungover and exhausted with no motivation for anything. Luckily I decided last night to clean rather than sit on my ass so the housework was done meaning I didn't have to feel too guilty today. It just feels like a wasted day when I have so many projects on the go , but hey ho!
What did pick me up this evening though was band call for rock of ages . Another 'first' for me and the singing is not within my comfort zone . Over the weeks I have had to really work hard with lots of help from Andy to use the voice I have properly and learn and although I still have work to do, I am getting there and I know when it gets to show week I'll have done everything i can to nail it and enjoy it . Luckily it's a show with amazing talent and everyone is so lovely ... It was a great way to boost my motivation this evening. Big shout out to Doozles for having our girly for us . You legend.
Tea tonight was one pan chorizo hash. New recipe and really tasty . Not sure about the random eggs but it was a good filling tea. 👍
It's been such a long and busy weekend . I'm quite physically exhausted . It's all my own doing and it's been mostly quite lovely but it's been hard .
Yesterday we had a lovely day but manic day of food shopping, weightwatchers , the local theatre to see Singing in the Rain and running Maisie around to her performing company. The night finished with far too much wine and very little sleep.
Today I worked, dashed home for a quick sandwich and then spent the afternoon rehearsing, came home late , got Maisie to bed and now it's time to start all the jobs I haven't done this weekend like ironing uniforms , lunches for work, clean and i am desperate to wash my hair . 🤣
I have had a weird weekend , battling feelings of self worth. I have this every now and again. Today's doubts of my capabilities ignited by lack of sleep this week and the fact I have not stopped and hardly eaten so I'm starving which makes me worse.
For the last week I have been having a really scary and weird nightmare. But it continues every night . Never had anything like it before but it genuinely wakes me and terrifies me. I googled it and apparently it's really rare to continue a dream on night after night??!! And apparently it's something to do with pressure or anxiety. Whatever it relates to is killing me though because I don't cope well with lack of sleep. That's when all the demon feelings come back... Which does concern me . And clearly as much as I think the weight loss is doing great things , there's some things I wonder if they will resolve the more I lose or do I need to take an alternative route to conquer these demons.
Anyway tonight's tea was a chicken and stuffing sandwich and crisps. Not healthy at all , but seen as I have had a shitty hangover today I have restrained from grease all day so this quick and easy tea was not as bad as it could have been .
It's been a busy Friday today , spurred on by that Friday feeling because I'm looking forward to this weekend. It's going to be a busy one but it's all exciting stuff. I started the day decorating the dining room ... or at least starting it . Starting something like decorating is always the hardest part. Once I get going I enjoy it and get desperate to finish it . After swimming lessons and a tea of cod, veg , mash and parsley sauce we went for a look at our new allotment . Oh yeah!!! The Brown's are now owners of an allotment which I'm so excited about but also find hilarious. As a child up until about the age of 15 I hated being outdoors. We grew up, fortunate enough to have our own ponies and rode all the time. Spending time at the stables and riding I loved . Walking and anything else physical I hated . I would follow the family several meters behind with a face like a smacked arse. I never appreciated the beautiful country side, and being in the fresh air. Fast forward several years and I cannot get enough of it . I want to move to Wales, live in a village in a quaint cottage and walk my dog, cook everything homemade and grow all our own food . Basically I want to be completely self sufficient . AND IT'S going to happen very soon. The difference in myself is incredible and I genuinely never imagined myself with an allotment when I was a hormonal and grumpy teenager . Now I cannot wait to get up there and prep it for next year. Age is changing me, plus the fact I have finally found the real me . I do what I want now and live the life I want rather than following suit and adhering to what I think others want me to do . And the real me is suited somewhere on the Tv programme Heartbeat, with an all together 60's , vintage set up.! Today I have also accepted it's cold... the heating is on and the hats are out 😰
Tea tonight was pork and mushroom Tagliatelle. It was really tasty and another new recipe for us.
It's been a long and busy day today. Back up early for school and work... work and then busy doing jobs at home.. the usual pack ups for tomorrow, getting uniforms ready , bathed the dog ( she now hates me) , cleaned the bathroom , bathed the child ( she also now hates me... she had one last night and doesn't smell yet apparently! 😐) and then cleaned the living room and kitchen. I love cleaning my kitchen. It's not a big kitchen , it's not yet vintage enough for me but it's where I spend a lot of my time . I never used to enjoy cooking, I cooked because It was needed, the child and husband needed food and I was scared of getting done for neglect 😂. But now I love trying out new recipes now and experimenting. It doesn't always go to plan, I mess up... I'm a better cook than baker though so I'm not completely useless just yet!. The final bit of my costume has arrived for the show so next is to try all that on. If you had told me a year ago I would be about to get on stage in fish net stockings, and a bra with my stomach out I would have laughed in your face . Anything is possible!
Last night's tea was Chilli con carne . I forgot to take a picture though 🙈 so instead you get to see my child sleeping and my lyrac'd legs.
I can run Maisie around the fields, take her to soft play and keep her moving at home and she will still without fail get up 5000 times when put to bed before deciding to fall asleep. It may be because her covers have come off, because she's had a bad dream (5 minutes after putting her to bed), another toilet trip, change of teddy because she's incapable of reaching into the box to swap toys herself, or, if she's being super hard work she spots one at the bottom of her hammock of toys for me to skilfully get. She's a monkey . I don't think all summer , despite the endless activities done with her , has she gone straight to bed and we have not heard another sound . Last night though she did. I don't know what school do differently. I imagine she's mentally exhausted as well as physically but she was straight out and when I went to check on her my heart melted. I still find it hard to believe sometimes I made that ( ok, we made that . I should give her daddy some praise seen as she is a mini Andy.) I missed her lots today, despite Tuesday being my working day throughout the holidays I was well aware today she wasn't in the safe haven of my mum where I didn't need to worry about her , she was at school and if she was upset none of us were there for her . So I'm going to miss her lots this week whilst settling back to normal routine . But I love it as well as I do so much more too. Before school yesterday I had done some ironing and cleaned the bathroom. Winning!
Last night after finishing the ironing, the ironing I was supposed to do Monday night and instead hid it in the corner and refused to look at it , I did half an hour of yoga ( that's where the lycra comes in) and half an hour on the bed of nails . A perfect way to relax and unwind after a busy day.
It's been a long old day today and if I'm honest feels like days ago that I got up and went swimming. Swimming at 7.30am this morning may have felt like a chore getting there but it was the best thing I could do. It was good to have a catch up with my friend ( always good for the soul) , it was invigorating and refreshing and my exercise was done and out the way for the day. We went to the car boot early and spent lots of time walking . Getting your fruit from the market is a really great way to stock up on the good stuff at a low price . I had the weekly food shop delivered today and deliberately didn't order the fruit and vegetables. Everything on the first picture cost just £6. It will last the week and is fresher than supermarket fruits.
The rest of our bank holiday has been spent seeing friends, spending time with family members and catching up on jobs ready to resume normality tomorrow. I would by lying if i said I was looking forward to it . She may test my nerves and sometimes drive me to the brink of alcohol but she's my stubborn, grumpy child and I will miss her little curly haired face this week while settling back into juggling work and school life. I am forever grateful that my job allows me to spend the time with her during the holidays , and although I am looking forward to routine and having my house back to normal , I am going to miss the long lie ins , The non urgent approach to life and being able to cuddle my girly whenever I feel the need..... even if it is under duress.
Tea tonight was spaghetti Bolognese with reduced fat garlic bread. Lunch was scrambled egg on toast .
My story for the weekend is that I have suffered temporary amnesia , so I can forget the bad foods eaten.... it's my story and I'm sticking to it!! I have enjoyed this bank holiday weekend, have been back on plan today and will continue to remain on said plan from now on. Everyone deserves a day of grease when suffering a hangover right?! Now to clean the house ( burn some more calories) and do the basket loads of ironing I have spent the day walking past and ignoring . ( bingo wings demolished) . 😴
Today has been good . A successful physio ( or video as Maisie calls it) session. Should only need one more before being signed off which is good. I finally completed the weeding of the garden, cleaned the house, and done lots of 'housey' admin work. I have moved lots which means calories have been burnt .... I have felt each Belgian chocolate floating away from me today with every hour of running up and down the stairs 🤣 damage limitation at its finest . Maisie has had her friend around for the day which has kept her busy and allowed me to get on.
Tea tonight was Cajun chicken , a new recipe for us and delightfully tasty and quick to make which we always like.
I had my yoga class this evening which I luuurrrve. It's an hour and a half of me time, it's relaxing, good for the mind and body and it works wonders on my back . I was so relaxed during the end meditation that I just didn't want it to end. Plus I managed moves tonight I would never have managed this time last year.
Lunch today was a pastrami , salad and wholegrain mustard wrap , sweet chilli bites and a weight watchers yoghurt . Only had 19 points today but that's good because I'm desperately trying to claw back the Belgian chocolates. They will haunt me all week. Still not sorry though lol.
Big buy of the day was these lunch boxes. Different compartments in this one lunch box means making my life so much easier when packing us all up . I always want to take strawberries and grapes to work to snack on at my desk but I cannot do that without taking numerous Tupperwares or sandwich bags. Now I don't need to worry! It's the little things in life 💪😁 #mywwdiary#mywwfood#myww#mywwjourney#mywwjourneyuk#mywwjourneycontinues#mywwjournal#mywwjourney2017#weightwatchersblog#weightwatcherssupport#weightwatchers#weightwatcher#weightwatchersuk#weightwatchers360#weightwatchersfamily#weightwatcherscommunity#foodblogger#foodblogging#50shadesoflife#instadailly#instadiet#instafood
Today has been a productive day . While Maisie had her friend around for the day to play I managed to get a fair few jobs done and was quite active compared to recent weeks. I woke up happier and more positive after a day of over thinking and worrying yesterday . There's a lot to be said for a good night's sleep.
My Lolly moulds were a bargain . 2 for £1 from Poundland. I have wanted some of these for a while now because I can fill them with whatever I want ( within reason) for a no pointed or low pointed sweet treat. I have filled one with diluted no added sugar lemon squash and one with lime squash. They are no points and something cheap, quick to make and handy to have in the freezer to kick a sweet craving. Especially on a hot day ( 🌞🤣🤣 yeah I know. Hot day right!!??) I also made some lemon oat muffins today for 2 points . Can add the ingredients if anyone is interested. Very quick to make and easy and good for a low pointed snack or breakfast alternative.
I love courgette . I like it roasted , hot or cold and with any other food. I never thought you could overdose on the vegetable but tonight I did. For meat free Monday I did courgette wraps with a ricotta and spinach filling. There was ribbons of courgette, grated courgette and chopped courgette. It was very tomato -y , garlic-y and far too much courgette. I would maybe stuff the mixture into canneloni in the future and adapt the recipe but I wouldn't cook it to this recipe again . But it filled a hole , it wasn't horrible to eat . Just too much of the same thing. But mum.... your home grown courgettes were delightful . 😍
Andy's out this evening so I have an evening of rest and paperwork in front of the TV. Well earnt today if I do say so myself.
Today has flown by . It's been a busy one . Miss Maisie and I took our weekly trip to the museum this morning. We love it there during the holidays because there is always something different going on. They put so much effort into the activities and trails that they do that I love supporting our local museum . Today it was all about space. We played a game with the planet's in our solar system, and did a trail finding the constellations . Maisie then wanted to make an alien candle .... she got fed up and because it had cost me £2.50 we were going to come home with a bloody alien candle. I put my artistic skills to the test.... Maisie was less than impressed.
We then did the dreaded school uniform shop which actually was less stressful and quicker than anticipated. Plus something magical happened! I saw a dress I liked . Tried it on and it was a size 10! Size 10 people!! I don't think I have ever fitted a size 10.
I wouldn't yet say that I am completely this size. Anything between 10 and 14 depending on the shop. I think the style of the dress meant I was lucky. But still.... this time last year it wouldn't have even covered my boobs so I came out with a smile on my face.... and the dress!
We then went swimming before maisies lesson which was fun. I hadn't anticipated how much I was going to get splashed today! Had I have known, I would have not worn so much make up 🐼 eyes!! Tonight I have been super organised, doing two baskets of ironing and cooking tomorrow night's tea ready for our friends coming around when I finish work.
Tea tonight was cod, vegetables and Andy's mash. But I forgot to take a picture.
Today has been a good day. Weigh in tomorrow morning 🤞
Today has been a good day. I'm much happier today and not dwelling on things as much as last night , Andy and I both have lots of new things starting, setting up and improving that we are very excited about AND I managed to walk to the park, around town and back home again. To anyone who knows where we live and how near to the town centre it is this does not seem an achievement but that's the furthest I have managed to walk without any car, without sitting down or crumbling to a heap in pain on the floor since hurting my back. So I'm feeling pretty chuffed with my self.
We met Andy for lunch and fed the ducks- I hadn't realised before how nasty they can be to one another when a loaf of mouldy weight watchers bread is up for grabs. It was a case of every duck for itself when it came down to it . We did have to have a little chat with Maisie though for throwing practically half a slice at a time to the ducks. We did fear for their little lives ....... "mass murder of ducks, choked to death on weight watchers bread" was not a headline we needed plastered all over the local paper! 😂
Lunch today was wholewheat pasta with pepper, sugar snap peas and feta cheese with a yoghurt and half a grapefruit. Tea tonight was sausages and vegetables. Feeling pretty good about this week food wise and weight loss wise. 🤞
I am an emotional eater . I want to eat when I'm happy, eat when I'm sad, eat when I'm hormonal .... basically any emotion I feel with an ounce of intensity makes me want to reach for the chocolate. So tonight I am fighting the urge to go and get the dairy milk that I know is at the back of the cupboard ready for Saturday. I think the only thing stopping me tonight is the fact that Maisie has only just gone to bed and kept me distracted and the fact that I found the comparison picture of how far I had come this morning and reading all the lovely comments on Andy's post. Sometimes a reminder is needed . Someone on another social media site of mine had some wise words to me the other day when talking ....they said eat the chocolate. But just two squares . Enjoy that taste and know that the last square of chocolate is going to taste exactly the same as the first so enjoy and be grateful for the two . Very good way of looking at it and right on point but unfortunately my head would say keep going , enjoy the binge until that last square where I would instantly regret it all . I'm an all or nothing kinda girl. So I'm remaining strong , looking forward to Saturday, keeping focus and stepping away from the god damn chocolate. Let's face it , it will only give me a few minutes of pleasure and then will turn to regret... an emotion i don't want ... So I am focusing on the emotion of happiness of which I will get on Saturday when I stand on the scales lighter than if i ate a dairy milk slab !
And the biggest comfort and best way to make ones self feel happier is my delightful child . A day at nannies has resulted in two new pairs of shoes, a swimming trip and so much hype that she physically does not come up for breath while she's filling me in on her day. Plus she's bankrupting us by losing her second tooth in two days! Poor old tooth fairy is really having to use her memory this week!
Tea tonight was Bolognese with courgette strips instead of pasta. A combination that actually goes really well together and remains low pointed yet filling at the same time .
My get up and go well and truly walked out on me this morning. A busy weekend of late nights and early starts with no rest just burnt out my candle this morning. I woke up in pain too which didn't help. Since the physio told me to stop all exercise except the ones he gave Me, my back pain has come back with greater intensity . I'm no doctor but I know my body better than he does so I'm ignoring him and starting my yoga and swimming again . So this slowed me down this morning too and I think it was about eleven o clock before Maisie and I got showered and dressed . 😂
The food shop came and my fridge is now brimming . I always start by putting it away in a nice organised way so everything has a place and each food group is collected together . But it gets to the stage where I run out of room and my motto soon changes to if there's a gap, fill it !
Despite my lack of motivation today I have managed a productive day , getting pasta salads made for the next two days for lunches, lots of housework and entertaining the princess.
I have had a positive attitude today and I'm focused to get another good loss this week . I have a big incentive .... getting on stage for the first time in my life in just two months so I need to keep going . My stomach has been the last thing to start leaving me and just recently I have noticed a massive difference in all my waist bands . Most of my clothes now have a big gap and are loose around my waist and I can look in a mirror or at a photo and not completely cringe immediately . Today I wore a pencil skirt with a tie top which showed a little bit of stomach. There was no over hang of stomach over my skirt and it didn't look too hideous. I went out of the house with confidence and positivity- head held high.
Tonight's tea was butternut squash and salami pasta with 2 x slices of reduced fat garlic bread .
This weekend has flown by so incredibly fast. Tonight I feel exhausted. After hitting my milestone at weight watchers yesterday morning I went to work in my new suit. For the past few weeks I have been wearing a suit that's three sizes too big for me. I was well aware i looked like a sack of potatoes but when it got pointed out to me I felt quite self conscious of the fact and so my darling husband treated me to a new suit . Thanks hubs ❤🖒 It's amazing what a difference a well fitted suit makes when it's the correct size!
I did manage to finish work last night earlier than expected and Andy cooked us burgers. It was a weight watchers recipe which I had prepared at some unsociable hour of yesterday morning. They contain pork mince , grated courgette, onion and paprika with a low fat cheese slice, bacon medallion and burger relish . Very tasty and really filling. I couldn't manage the two .
Today , Sunday, has been a good day. We had Rehearsal this morning ( saying 'we ' had rehearsal is something I never thought I would say) , and then we did a couple of jobs while Andy went for a run . And then we went swimming . Miss Maisie lost her front tooth this morning so tonight I need to remember to play fairy. Easier said then done .
We rounded the day off with a big fat chicken roast dinner after multi tasking and bathing Maisie while sprawling out on the landing to do my meal prep for the week . I wasn't looking forward to this weekend for a number of reasons but it's actually turned out ok. I have done some good things and had more family time then I expected to this weekend so all is good on this Sunday evening .
I have had a tough couple of days this week. I shall not bore everyone with details but there's been some upset. Some upset that actually took me by surprise. Something that I thought I had desensitised myself too.... well maybe it turns out I'm much more sensitive to this problem then what I thought. Lol . I think I put on a strong, brave exterior because if I fool myself that it doesn't bother me then maybe I will believe it and save myself the upset. I don't know . Either way , for whatever reason , this week my guard has come down.
Previously I would have took comfort in food. I would have gotten upset, gone to the nearest shop for the biggest chocolate bar I could get and eat away my feelings until the only feeling I felt was nausea . This is obviously not a healthy way to approach these emotions and I know I have moved on and made progress with my attitude towards food because this week the thought never even crossed my mind .
Instead I leaned on the one person who knows me the best. My confidant, my support .... the old hubby . Having that one person who you can rant to and cry to , who listens and says the right things then finishes it with a big safe hug is so much healthier and rewarding than binge eating for comfort.
So thank you Andy for being my dairy milk alternative, you have made me feel better than the slab of chocolate would in the long run and you haven't made me gain half a stone at the same time! ❤
Tonight's tea was chicken and broccoli stir fry with my mummy's home grown courgette added in to bulk it out ( delicious mother! Thank you), with 2 slices of reduced fat garlic bread . All for 13 points. Tonight I'm going to chill out , release all negativity and look forward to tomorrow with my girly.
Happy Tuesday one and all! X
After a fun packed night last night and a little too much of the vino it was a struggle to get up this morning and be out of the house for 9am to get to rehearsals . Even Maisie showed her teenage , hormonal attributes when it came to evacuating her from her bed . But with her excited to be reunited with uncle Matt and auntie daisy , and me with a full face of make up to hide the bags under my eyes we made it .
I was naughty last night and didn't take my tablets because I wanted to drink and boy I have paid for it with my back today. What a difference one day of no tablets has made . I thought it was getting better but I think it's just a case of the tablets now work and hide the pain.
After picking M back up and having some time with her .... I call it time with her .... all she wanted to do was play with her toys and on her tablet but I got my Moozles fix by just being in the same room with her .I was happy, she couldn't care less 😂 I then did my meal planning for the week, my online food shop and cooked a roast chicken dinner.... something I haven't don't since we started rehearsing on a Sunday . It was a welcomed meal and the only meal I have had time for today. So very much under my points allowance... however that's not a bad thing after yesterday and I'm feeling prepared and ready for the week . Focusing on my water allowance this week and keeping track of how much I drink, making a conscious effort to drink more as it has so many benefits to your health apart from the obvious of keeping hydrated.
My new best friend will be my water bottle!
Didn't have time to update yesterday as it was a manic day . From weigh in i dash straight off to work and then I dashed home to make tea for the family who came around as a late birthday meal for my mummy. I was prepared and had made the smoked haddock fish cakes on Friday. Weight Watchers recipe, served with wedges and salad and garlic bread . Forgot to take a picture.... I get a little stressed when hosting and the wine I had helps with the stress but then makes me a little forgetful . But they went down a treat with everyone and a blooming good, and very late night was had by all .
At weigh in I maintained this week. In all honesty I was expecting a gain so I am happy with a maintain . Obviously somewhat disappointed as it's held me up a week getting to goal but after last weekend's over indulgence I knew pulling it back was a lot to ask . And sometimes I don't think it's a bad thing to have a bit of a bad week. It puts things in perspective. I was getting a little cocky having lost 12lb in four weeks and felt at the beginning that eating the amount I did on Saturday would be ok and I would be able to pull it back easily. I didn't and it's reminded me I still need to be careful on a Saturday. Two steps back and one step forward isn't going to get me to goal . So it's given me the little shake I needed and made me focused to have a better feeling on those scales next Saturday.