This picture popped up in my notifications yesterday. It's a picture that has terrible triggers and reminders. A year ago, things were very bad in my relationship. Very confusing and turning into something I couldn't understand. This trip to Iceland was supposed to be an amazing 40th birthday celebration for me, but it turned out to be the worst vacation. He never once told me Happy Birthday. I faked everyone out and posted pics as though it was a great time, but it wasn't. I tried to make the best of it, but my "partner" was picking at me and arguing with me the entire time. I had already dreaded going on this trip because I knew in my gut this was the beginning of the end. Little did I know the next 6 months after this would be the worst period of my life. Throughout our relationship, he always took pictures of my backside, never of us together or of my face, unless I asked him to. It was always very hurtful because he was very quick to take pics of him and his girl friends or females he met. It made me feel less then, not adequate, not pretty or beautiful. This picture, in all the time I knew him, was the only one that I asked him to take of me of my backside. I wanted this moment for myself. While I have a very difficult time thinking about or looking at pictures of this Iceland trip, this picture is the only one that I truly love. And it's because it reminds me that I am a singular entity in this world. I always have been and always will be. I live for being out in beautiful places in the world. Soaking in the calm and embracing the amazing moments in my life. I live for travel and he tried to take it on as his own all the time and I'm sure still does. I will never let anyone take away my lust for life again. I will never let anyone abuse me or manipulate me ever again. I tell these stories because many people have come to me to tell me THEIR stories. Abuse happens a lot more than you think or want to believe. There are people you know going through this right now or have gone through it. People need to be more aware of what the signs are and what it truly is and how damaging it is. I got out. It's still a lot of work daily, but I'm free and feel amazing.
."Đừng đuổi theo một con ngựa. Hãy dùng thời gian mà bạn đuổi theo con ngựa ấy để trồng cây, đợi tới năm mới sang, xuân về, hoa nở, cũng là lúc có cả đám tuấn mã cho bạn lựa chọn. " #longhaibeach#happyweekend#NPD
When you’re in love, it can be difficult to pay attention to anything but the person in front of you. So many of us have been blinded while we’re enamored with another person, and it can be hard to bring ourselves back to reality. But it’s important to pay attention, because sometimes, you can end up in a one-sided relationship, where you are doing all the work and your partner ends up making you feel worse instead of better about yourself.
New Pedal Day! Luis @manticconcepts whipped up this real down-to-earth custom paint job for the Vitriol distortion and it sounds as good as it looks. @fairfieldcircuitry wins for my favorite compressor ever, too 🤤🤤
About to be #NPD for me!! The most excellent dudes Chris over @chesapeakeeffects & Adam @acidsplashdesigns helped me with a custom rehouse project to breathe some new life into some of my old favorite pedals! From right to left: the lineup is Digitech Synth-wah, Metal Master, Boss DD3 Delay, and a Ditto looper. Chris also replaced some old pots for me, so my new spaceship won't need any repairs in the near future 🚀 Also, all I did was send Adam some art and he came up with this awesome finish! I can't thank either of you guys enough for this 😃#instagood#effects#console#custom#pedal#collaboration#pedalenvy
« Charlie représente notre meilleure option pour un leader qui améliorera non seulement le rang électoral de notre Parti mais un leader qui fournira aussi aux Canadiens un gouvernement véritablement progressiste. » James Ryan, Ancien Président de l’Association des enseignants des conseils scolaires catholiques anglophones de l’Ontario #comptezsurmoi#ndpldr#npd
800 Neo-Nazis took to the streets of Berlin today to mark the anniversary of the death of Rudolf Hess - Hitler's Deputy Führer. More than 1,500 Anti-Fascist protestors (and some 500 members of the police force), resulted in a curtailed march and a 6 hour stand-off. This is the first time in 10 years that a Neo-Nazi march of this scale has been attempted in Berlin. Whilst it remains a criminal offence in Germany to glorify the Nazi era or its emblems, reconfigured flags - a red, white and black loophole to the law - were touted in defiance.
In the course of trying to relay your horrific experience to others, you will no doubt be asked, almost accusingly "then if your relationship was so abusive, why did you stay?!?" It is a classic "blaming the victim" move that creates retraumatization (again that tendency for people to put others down so they can feel superior), however it is usually done mindlessly in response to something one cannot relate to unless one has experienced it personally. And even you will have a hard time understanding and explaining it, since the truth is that red flags were everywhere, neglect was rampant, and your #abuser was emotionally absent and also downright mean (this occurs after you have been "hooked" in the relationship and the "love bombing" phase is over). So here's a little help out, and this is only half the story: it's called TRAUMA BONDING and it's biological as well as emotional. There are several preconditions that make a person more susceptible to #TraumaBonding in abusive relationships, like "...growing up in an unsafe home makes later unsafe situations have more holding power." Narcissists are like cult leaders; they use #fear , isolation, an "us against the world" philosophy, false promises, #lies , future faking, punish-and-reward strategies, and the idea that no one will ever love you as much as they do to keep you bound to them. It is only when you break free, when you finally find the courage to escape them (they think they own you for life) that you come to understand and have to wrestle with the invisible strings (ropes, really) that have you strapped and bound to your abuser. Cutting off all contact is therefore crucial to recovery, as well as time, support and a serious focus on recovering your health, because you will be in shocking shape by the time you escape. And YOU have to do the escaping, because they will never leave you alone. "I'm in your life forever" my abuser told me after a particularly brutal "hoovering" session. No, you are not, you bastard; no, you are not. #Narcissist#Sociopath#Psychopath#NPD#NPDAbuse#EmotionalAbuse#PsychologicalAbuse#CoerciveControl#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou#MenAreVictimsToo#IfMyWoundsWereVisible#NoContact
Ain't this the truth though? If anyone were to spend a week or two with my abuser (or my father, a classic altruistic narcissist), you'd be forgiven for thinking that they were truly lovely people. Because they certainly play that role to a T, so long as you're also playing the part they've cunningly scripted for you or you have something they want (this is the key to a narcissist's 'heart'). But challenge their authority, point out their indiscretions, refuse to be party to their dishonesty (they lie pathologically and are dishonest beyond belief) or reject their abusive ways and you will see a side of them that the general public could not imagine exists. Your stories will understandably sound unbelievable, and people will be unable to reconcile the atrocities you describe with the wonderful charmer they know. But this is exactly how abusers get away with the horrific things they do; by playing innocent, by being incredibly helpful and warm, by spreading vicious lies about their victims while pretending to be the victim, and by recruiting others to their side of the story using perfectly practiced flattery and charm. They are absolute masters at distorting their own realities and managing others' impressions, and they do this in order to not have to face themselves ever. #TheEvilAmongUs#ToxicPeople#ToxicFamily#NPD#NPDAbuse#Narcissist#Sociopath#Psychopath#CovertNarcissist#CoerciveControl#PathologicalLiar#SmearCampaign#SiblingAbuse#FamilyScapegoat#AbuseByProxy#FlyingMonkeys#IBelieveYou#YouAreNotAlone#IfMyWoundsWereVisible#EscapeAbuse#GetHelp#NoContact#ProtectYourChildren#SurvivorCommunity
@gurrpreetkaur is so rad! <3 this is such great help!
Bloomery is here! Excited, hope it lives up to expectations. Sweep will take a little getting used to, but much better than the Boss, and hope it is as robust as it feels. (this thing is freakin heavy) Can't wait to out the walnut topper on this!
Also, would love help with fx chain!
Right now, it's tuner-comp-drive-Bloomery-drive-fuzz-amp.
Demain, 11h30, joignez-vous à nous pour marcher avec #Fierté dans les rues de Montréal!
Pour nous trouver, il faut descendre (vers le sud) la rue Saint-Mathieu à partir de Ste-Catherine, et ensuite tourner vers l’est sur René-Lévesque. Notre camion sera sur René-Lévesque dans la section orange du défilé, qui est cette année divisé en blocs par les couleurs de l’arc-en-ciel. #Pride#Mtl#Youth#Jeunesse#NPD#NDP#canpoli#polcan
#new#diy#dod#pedal#day#npd it's the most hair metal pedal I've ever built. Grey DOD250 circuit with a couple little extras ( clipping options and max gain range) #woof sounds great through the #marshall half stack
Perfect day to celebrate a mini victory in acceptance. ✨🦄✨
In 2009, a Friend in Singapore told me my nick name was 'chili padi'. His way of gently saying I need to better manage my emotional outbursts. As much as I appreciated the compliment (my interpretation of Chili padi is tiny and powerful ☺️🤗🙊), I took the criticism to heart and wanted to soften my approach. Rather than fight fire with fire, I wanted to overcome adversity with love.
Back then, it was EXTREMELY easy to push my buttons. I still slip from time to time and Chili padi Jess comes out but for the most part, I'm the one people turn to when they need help, motivation, a solution, or just a positive perspective on a less than desirable situation.
Currently, I'm about 90% love and 10% Chili padi.
That last 10% has been ridiculous to convert. I get mad at myself every time I allow a projection dominate me. On the other hand, silencing this part of me seems wrong. 🙈🙉🙊
Anyways, the victory is my acceptance of that last 10%. I'm authentic. I'm brave. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I try my best. My rough edges are an important part of me. I'm sensitive. I'm perfectly imperfect.
This acceptance happened when I was sitting with the puppy. He heard something outside and raced to the door barking. I know he was being protective and his outburst came from a place of love. It was then that I realised how much I enjoy the raw moments of others but have been cheating myself of enjoying my own personal raw moments. The pup was so overwhelmed with emotions. My first words to him were, "Thank you for being so protective, I love you too. I'm glad you are here. Such a strong puppy!"
And these will be the words I say to myself during my raw moments... "Thank you for being so authentic. I'm glad you are here. I love you. You are so brave." ✨❤️✨
Neues aus Bautzen:
Der Vize-Landrat von Bautzen, Udo Witschas (CDU), soll mit dem ehemaligen Chef der NPD-Bautzen Marco Wruck via Facebook gechattet haben.
Nach Informationen des MDR SACHSEN bagann der Chat zwischen den beiden am 6. August, nach Krawallen auf "der Platte" in Bautzen. In diesem Chat unterhielten sich die beiden über Flüchtlinge und vor allem den Lybier "King Abode" und das Spreehotel. Dabei hat Witschas ihn über ein Aufenthaltsverbot der Stadt Bautzen gegenüber dem Lybier informiert.
Politiker von SPD, B'90/DIE GRÜNEN und LINKE fordern den Rücktritt von Witschas. "Er ist als stellvertretender Landrat nicht mehr tragbar" sagte Christin Melcher (B'90/DIE GRÜNEN). Caren Lay von den LINKEN bezeichnet den Chat als "völlig inakzeptabel". Udo Witschas gibt den Chat zu, bestreitet aber die Weitergabe von Landratsamt-Internen Informationen und erklärt dass er nicht zurücktreten werde.
Wie können wir soetwas zulassen? 24.09.2017: AfD wählen ❕
Link zum MDR SACHSEN Artikel in der Bio⚠