Narcissists do horrendous, boundary busting things that you could never imagine yourself or anyone you know doing, just to get you to respond badly. In my case they took my daughter out of school and hid her from me for 2 weeks, she was 6 years old at the time. We don’t do this to our babies and young mothers, but narcissists will do it. Anything to get you to respond negatively so they can go “see” I told you she’s crazy and abusive. The abusing narcissist had the storyline before I knew what was happening. He had planted seeds with everyone around me, that it was me who was causing problems and “abusing him”. While I cried myself to sleeping at night, he was busy telling my friends and family lies about me. When it was most certainly his toxic behavior causing the pain. To get me to lose my shit, he took our daughter and hid her from me. I responded like any protective mother would, BUT it was a fucking trap. I lost it. Your best bet is to get as far away as possible, safely, and heal/ rebuild yourself. When you have shared children, you won’t get that opportunity. If you can get away, do it!! 💜🌹#reactive#abuse#npdabuse#npd#abuse#trauma#cptsd#ptsd#narcissisticabuse#narcissist#pyschopath#sociopath#abusers#nocontact#survivor#warrior#awareness
This is a really important lesson for all femmes and gentle caretakers of all genders. Jealousy is an emotion to dissect and to get to the heart of, examine why you're feeling the jealousy and do what you can to adjust your scope to alleviate the feelings. If it's within a relationship, make sure you're communicating why you have jealousy issues (neglect and abuse from childhood can cause these long term residual issues) and what can be done to alleviate your needs that is still giving the person you're carrying resentment towards them. If you need more communication, ask for caretaking that is a mutual compromise that's agreed upon. If you need connection and intimacy, discuss reasonable ways to meet those needs. If you keep finding yourself jealous and resentful, examine whether it's residual issues from your past, or if the relationship is balanced and fair. If the person is asking for a lot of your time, love, and emotional caretaking, with little in return but annoyance and exhaustion when fair reciprocity is requested, It may be time to re-examine whether or not the connection is a good fit. Jealousy is an emotion that is a response to a deeper feeling, a fear of losing something. That fear may or may not be unfounded, but don't suppress that instinct, and don't weaponize it as a method to create hoops to make someone jump through. No one likes being emotionally manipulated. Own your jealousy, talk it out, share your heart with your friends who have your back. Find the root and address it. You deserve to have your needs met too, and it can be done if you respect yourself and the other people involved equally.
What moves us from purpose and meaning through deliberation into choice and action? Right in the middle, between purpose and action is the Choice Point. There is always a fraction of a second, or a minute or days and years, when we are poised at the edge of a decision. Sometimes by the nature of the choice being made it must take only a fleeting second, like slamming the brakes to avoid hitting an animal. But, what if your future were that animal? Would you keep driving and run over it? Because, that's ultimately what happens when we remain in toxic relationships. Right now, in this moment as you read this post, you could make the choice to turn it all around, wake up tomorrow, and start a fresh new life. A better life. A healed life. 🌈🌺💐✨
There's a difference between a narcissistic person and a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). "NPD is characterized by persistence grandiosity, excessive need for admiration, and a personal disdain for, and lack of empathy for other people. A person with NPD usually displays the behaviors of arrogance, a sense of superiority, and seeks to establish abusive power and control over other people. Moreover, the person with NPD usually exhibits a fragile ego, an inability to tolerate criticism, and a tendency to belittle others in order to validate their own superiority. People with NPD tend to exaggerate their skills and accomplishments. They tend to be CONTROLLING, BLAMING, SELF-ABSORBED, INTOLERANT OF OTHERS' VIEWS, AND INSISTS THAT OTHERS SEE THEM AS THEY WISH TO BE SEEN. They devalue, insult, derogate, and blame others. Since the fragile ego of individuals with NPD is hypersensitive to criticism or defeat, they are prone to feelings of shame, humiliation, and worthlessness over minor and even imagined incidents. They usually mask these feelings with feigned humility or they may react with outbursts of rage, defiance, or by seeking revenge." The sad and most frustrating thing about people with NPD is that even though everyone else can see past their bullshit, they could never admit any fault.
The bullshit just keeps coming with mine! Since I made it public I continually get different women contacting me with the same story. It’s pathetic. What a sad excuse for a human for doing this to so many women!!