Happiness is a White Whale,
How can I prevail with guarded entrails,
These Rocky Mountain rails feel like right timing,
Even in death there is beauty for the ants duty is to remove her mystifying wings,
I'm a fox trust me but don't watch me because I'm scurrying around on my own agenda festering with anxiety,
Without chase there is no accomplishment,
With accomplishment there is stagnant waters,
Basically wasting waiting for slaughter,
Life is quite a bother,
Breaking down behind steering wheels squealing brakes poised to break,
Silence is the leader of the Suicide Alliance,
I'm just a tad too compliant to their requests,
I'm running at ten thousand feet with no cell service in reach,
Waiting for a mountain lion to breach the trees & reap what's left of me,
Hopefully maybe not,
Probably shouldn't stop,
Back always turned away,
I'm begging you to stay Sunshine,
My White Whale, I think I deserve pure happiness at least once in my lifetime.
I feel like I'm lost in the vast wide land,
When I look ahead,
I see nothing,
It's all empty.
It's endless and dark.
There's no fraction of light to guide me,
And my lost soul is trying find its way through.
I dread to think,
For my thoughts are as deadly as the path ahead,
I turn back with hope in my heart,
Crossing my fingers and expecting someone to appear in this empty space,
All in vain.
Maybe I'm stuck,
In this unknown space,
Where I don't belong,
And what scares me even more?
I don't even know for how long will I be stuck here. - Nijal Modi
I am sick of seeking permission to be
If you're in my way
Get the fuck out of my face
But just to be polite
I'll show you compassion in a vase
You're a rose, but you still haven't bloomed
I am searching for the sun
While your shadow is on the run. ~a.f. ✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨❤️✨ two things. #1 . I want to let go of caring what others think of me. Making these videos feels more personal and vulnerable than just posting the pictures of the poems.... #2 . Yeah, I mess up. I no longer want to be afraid of making mistakes anymore or exposing my imperfections... You know those things that make a human a human? That's all part of the sun chasing I talk about anyway. You can't run away from your true feelings even if you're the fastest runner in the world. Your true feelings will eventually catch up. Yet I'm running this race anyway sometimes.... Anyone else run away from conflict or confrontation? ~a.f. ❤️ happy Wednesday❤️ p.s. I remember feeling pissed at a customer at work when I made this.. I had to put that mask on of "everything is alright, you're totally right to act self entitled in this way, no biggie" 💁🏻 fuck that mask. Fuck it.