I have been in a lot of physical pain lately, from numerous maladies; ear infection, TMJ D and even infected feet (wtf). It has been going on 5 weeks now, so I was just sitting here feeling my spirit start to crack a bit, from another night of pain. Then I remembered that a beautiful, young Australian woman; #NicoleEvans , was doused with an accelerant and set alight by her fiancé less than a week ago. It sure put things in perspective. I bet she would swap me all my issues to not have to endure that kind of unfathomable nightmare. I could list a thousand expletives, but I think it's enough to say that the guy is a psychopathic piece of excrement that should be wiped from the face of the planet as if off the bottom of an old shoe. I grew up in a DV household and then suffered it as an adult and I'll tell you what, I'm fucking over these arseholes. I don't care what the do-gooders say, they can't be rehabilitated. They are anomalies born without the capacity for empathy. They've gotta go. The so called experts are talking round and round in circles, looking for answers but asking all the wrong questions. There is an Apex predator on this orb and it ain't us. It's those pieces of shit. It's about time society opened their eyes. The Inuits call them, 'Kunlangeta', and when asked by an Anthropologist how they dealt with them, they replied that, 'Somebody would push them off the ice when no-one was looking.' Nuff said.
Takže tu máme 10 faktů o mě🙆
1. Jmenuji se Lucka😋
2. Je mi 10😋
3. Jsem retard😋
5. Jsem kwásná 😋
6. Rada si čtu 😋
7. Mám ty nejlepší přátelé co jsem si mohla přát 😋
8. Mám z každý blbostí radost😋
9. Někdy mám uchylny chvilky 😂
10. Nej barva je fialová 😋
Pokud máš s něčím problém, tak si ho vyřiď s tou lavičku co je vedle tebe😂😂😂😂 nemůžu za mou osobnost, jsem prostě po bratrovi😓😂
Aaaaah my God! Yes two months of no Contact and guess What.... last year I took the bait because I thought I could get the closure That I needed soooooooooo much ! WRONG!
I wonder , could some of You also feel it, like a sixth sense That somethings going on again. That the narc is back trying to trick You into contacting him. Its the weirdest thing.
Yesterday after a couple of days feeling very itchy, knowing something was up, I nearly choked... Its sick, next to the brutally disgusting message of How evil and bad I Am, doing this to him,( didn't deleted this one)oooh the poor victim he is! the sweetest message of How many good memories we share! Blahblahblah bullshit!
Its mindfucking to the highest level but I will Resist ! 😈 He is a Textbooknarc! But I Am the Evil!
The only thing I can really do anymore, is lay here. Lay here repeating these sick and lonely thoughts in my head. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't cry, I can't make social contact. I'm closer to the thought of dragging a blade across my wrist. Just to see how it really feels. Then be sent to a fucking hospital to do whatever the fuck else damaging. I've starved for a month and all I see in the mirror is a disgusting waste of space still. I just want out. I want to be thin, happy. But it'll never happen. I see myself lying here, with a rapid pulse. Or there, lying there in a hospital bed. Slowing down everything seeing all these reasons why. Because it'll be the last time. Fuck. Someone please just tell me why I'm like this? Year after year, month after month, it's the same fucking thing. I thought about therapy but really I don't want that. I don't need it. I haven't been so sure about suicide ever. But here I fucking am. I want it to go away..everything.. I don't know what to do. This isn't life. It's surviving. It's only surviving. Because I'm more then sure as hell, I'm half way there being dead. I need someone. I can't be alone. I can't tell anyone. I can't trust anyone. I need someone here.. I need to talk to someone but it's never enough..it never works. Pills, anxiety, thinspo, blades, I want out .-. Because another night, here I am. Thinking about all the things that went wrong, and I haven't cried over that in so long. I want it to go away... Every time I'm left alone this is what happens. Gr8 my dudes. Gr8
Doing adventure isn't bad .... being wild isn't bad.... do wat my insticts command me ....i dont care for good or bad.. cuz dis is the age which won't come back and you won't have stories to narrate to to ur child or who d FUCK mayb in future ... i like to try craziest paths.... #wildchild#psychopath
Life is nothing without craziness...
Dats was AQUARIOUS suppose to do always 😂😂😂😁
Sorry, kami sahabatan tidak ada yang saling memanfaatkan.
Karena kami lebih tau baik ataupun buruknya sifat masing-masing.
Jadi buat kalian yang selalu berfikiran buruk tentang persahabatan kami, mungkin kalian harus " renungan suci " tentang pertemanan yg tulus Lillahita'la
Yang bisa menjadi penyelamat dunia yang Insha Allah sampai akhirat.
Yes I was! Cognitive dissonance was kicking my ass mentally. His actions weren't adding up with my image of him so I would have inner battles with them. Trying so hard to make excuses why he is what he paints himself to be and not what I see and think he really is. Then there was the battle of not wanting to get him angry. Should I tell him truth or lie? Should I White lie, but if I do and he finds truth it'll be worse. Then there was the battle with the friends he claimed weren't my friends, going back and forth on that. Never knowing what to believe. To simple battles if should I text him again, it's been fours since he responded to me, but what if he gets mad, should I just wait? Man no wonder I was exhausted!! Who wouldn't be!!! I'm so thankful, my mind is at peace. He might pop in my head but there isn't battles like there once was. #emotionalabuse#psychopath#narcissisticabuse#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
The psychopath exactly! If it was too quiet and we got along fine I always knew drama was approaching somehow and he would. He would tease me on how I bore him when I talk or he would send me of a picture of a demon dog saying it's me. Just for the fun it. Too bored with his life so he has to create waves and chaos. If it didn't get my reaction he would continue to jab and poke with teases or hurtful actions just to get a jolt out of me. I remember he cussed at me and I said okay, then cussing got even worse and I said cool got it. He was exploding that I wasn't reacting the way he wanted me too. He hated when I didn't do it would escalate until I did. #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticabuse#psychopath#emotionalabuse
Absolutely!! I would be in tears, ugly crying sobbing and he would just look at me so indifferent without an ounce of concern or care. Here I am in tears, you cheated or you lied or whatever he did and he would just stare at me like wtf is wrong with you. Once he did say oh Marsha you know we can't work out right, it's never going to happen, after two days prior, confessing he loved me and had sex with me and told me he wanted a family. Sick sick sick individual #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticabuse#psychopath#emotionalabuse
Learned a lot more but truthfully this was the biggest lesson. I learned to love being alone. Crazy thing is he told me I don't know how to be alone. Would leave me alone on weekends "helping" me to practice the art of being alone. (I'm sure as he wine and dined other females) He get on me how much I was dependent on him for my happiness and needed to find that myself. In the end what I discovered the way he made it seem like he mastered being alone, I was learning and he was NEVER. Alone. Always with one girl or another and then talking to a few more at same time. Talk about not knowing to be alone!! This man has no concept of it. For preaching on it, he needs to learn this more than I did! #emotionalabuse#psychopath#narcissisticabuse#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
I didn't know my mother was connected to this attachment to Narcissist. I had to heal when I made the connection. So I journaled and allowed myself to cry at memories I tried to forget or place little importance on. I still struggled to get the healing process going. I went to see a mother daughter movie I knew wouldn't be like mine. I was able to mourn and grieve the mother I wish I had but never will have. I allowed the tears to flow down and find acceptance in who she is and who she will never be for me. I made healing moments where I stayed home, journaled a memory, cried then imagined my older self now go comfort that younger self and be that mother to myself I always wanted. This practice helped me mourn and grieve a mother who never learned to love. Don't be afraid to grieve. It's truly healing #emotionalabuse#psychopath#narcissisticabuse#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
There's a balance with them. And you need to start weighing in the happy times with the miserable ones and for me that started 4 years ago in 2013. I could count the amount of good days on one hand and the bad with hands and toes. I cried more than ever and wondered why. It's hard to leave but getting the strength to leave is only the first step, finding strength to continue to stay away is an ongoing one. #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissisticabuse#psychopath#emotionalabuse