Sitting in a room, an unknown place filled with unknown people and unfamiliar faces. Talking, speaking unknown words and conversations. Screaming yelling what's going on in this unknown place of unknown people where I do not belong. Sitting alone in a room full of people, with unknown faces. 5/26/17
Moods of the week: anxious and defeated. This week I got the confirmation of my surgery date - a surgery I've been waiting for for over 2 years. Now that's it's been confirmed and it's for real, I'm getting more and more stressed out. It's a pretty important surgery and I fear something will go wrong: I'll have trouble waking up from the anesthesia, I'll be in a lot of pain (well that's a given), my skin graft won't heal as it should... It's my first ever surgery (well, besides having my wisdom teeth removed - which in any case I don't really count) so I don't know what to expect. Ugh, September 11th is going to come too quickly. What's got me feeling defeated is the fact that I basically have to suspend my whole life to recover from this surgery. I have to take a 4-week leave of absence from work and I have to suspend my semester (that I already started!) for school because I'll be too behind once I heal and can mentally get back into doing my school work. And on top of that, in order for me to heal correctly, I'll have to live with my parents because I can't be alone during my recovery period. I didn't really get to enjoy my summer because I worked so much. I was counting on making it up by fully taking advantage of my fall, but it looks like that won't happen. By the time I'll get the OK to go back to work, it'll be past Thanksgiving and there will soon be snow on the ground. I already can't wait for the next three months to be over! .