Nothing has affected me as much as music and art has.Now I don't want to sound ungrateful but since last year, life had been terrible, everyday i cursed myself for being alive, i just wanted it all to end, i wanted to die, but there was one thing which kept me alive - music.Despite all the tears, drama, frustration and anger, at the end of the day i had my idols, they were my home.They are the reason i'm alive and i'm writing this.I'd preach them everyday as if they are god to me and their work is a holy book, in return they'd assure me that its gonna be okay.Basically that was my coping mechanism, it still is.
@xxxtentacion is one of those idols, he saved my life.I discovered his music when i was going through the darkest phase of my life, when i needed it most.If it hadn't been for him idk if i would have survived it or maybe i would have but my mindset wouldn't have been this positive as it is now.Since last year i had became "accept the situation" kind of person but he changed my mindset to make me "fight the situation" person.He's the reason i have some purpose in life now and when you have a purpose, life seems much better.He keeps constantly blessing me and his other fans with his wisdom and knowledge.Thank you @xxxtentacion, you said that you wanted to heal depression through your music and as far as i know you are doing a great job.
I feel glad now that i didn't end it and stayed alive, its like an achievement now that I made it this far. for anyone of you going through hard times or dealing with suicidal thoughts, remember one thing:"its gonna be okay, sooner or later, it's gonna be okay, so dont give up." for now all you have to do is stay alive and find a coping mechanism.A coping mechanism is very important for this process, so you must find it.It can be music, art, writing, sports or anything which comforts you and makes you feel at peace.Also, there is professional help if you need it, moreover there are suicide helplines which you can look up to if you ever feel hopeless or need someone to talk to.Just remember that you are much more tougher than depression and it can not break you.