At fifteen no one would have accused me of being a free spirit. These days, that label is thrown at me often. Sometimes it sounds like a strong willow with beautiful branches that blow in the wind. Other times it feels more like the crumbles in the bottom of your breakfast of champions.
I always liked labels. They felt safe. Wife. Photographer. Best friend. For one miserable year I was an office manager. Lately I struggle to see the titles that were once painted across every surface. Today nothing is harder for me than to answer our society’s favorite question: “what do you do?” Sure, I’m still some of the above things. Maybe I’m even a free spirt. But what I see is beyond that.
I see someone in charge, and yet completely out of control. Someone grounded and, yes, I have to admit, maybe a tad flighty. I see fire and earth. I see a relational soul and an introverted being. The deeper I look, the larger the contradiction. I’ve spent my life solidifying who I am. Now, at twenty something, I have realized that I want nothing more than to live undefinably. To exist in spaces where the answers aren’t wrapped in packages of black and white. To dance in fields where you aren’t wrong and I’m not right. To embrace all that I have been created to be, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into the boxes. To ask the hard questions even if there are no answers.
When you ask “what do you do?” I will fumble and it will sound somewhat unimpressive against their American Dream. But ask me who I am and I’ll give you my undefinable, magically expanding soul and you will see it is not so different from yours.
Fell in love with @cremacrema coffee when I visited in Nashville. Thanks @kinkincoffee for the Nashville recommendation! If you’re ever in Nashville or Madison check either of those places out. Kin-Kin Coffee can be bought and is brewed at @johnsonpublichouse and recently opened @mintmarkmadison! ❤️☕️