New yogic challenge! Staying in my practice when fluffy cute thing wants to play. Am I still serving myself by serving the fluffy cute thing? Have I cheated on my practice if technically I still maintained the breath? Is it ok to find fun in something other than the pose I'm in when I am supposed to be practicing? I mean I was observing my thought-processes while practicing and was completely aware at the time that I chose to take action to engage with the desire to play with cute fluffy thing...so I was yoga-ing right? WHATEVER I ENJOYED IT SO BE QUIET NEUROTIC YOGA TEACHER CECILIA BRAIN! HA!...haha...haha...ha #yoga#practice#fun#dog#poodle#sun#joy#torment#breathe#space#distraction#indulge#neurotic#pyramid#lunge#twist#throwitback#vegasthepoodle
This is perfect for me right now..
I use to believe everything happens for a reason but there's been too much..
I have my grief counsellor appointment this morning..
I have mixed feelings about how it's been going..
I have realised that even though I do have some issues around so many dieing and in such a short period of time..
My significant struggles of grief are the other losses I have experienced as well..
Such as my childhood, other family members, friends, my health, job and much more..
The deaths have been hard to cope with, especially as most have been unnatural..
Accidental, illness..some very young and most not elderly..
(I don't want to discuss suicide on this post and it's not included in the death I'm talking about here)
But death isn't something the individual who has a terminal illness, or has an accident etc is in control of..
They can try fight it but at the end of the day, it can happen, no matter how hard they try..
Much of the grief and loss I've experienced, has also been out of my control but it's still around and in my face and mind 24/7..
The ones that sting the most are the people who've made the conscious decision to reject me and walk away..
This just amplifies all the other losses..
In time, it won't torment my soul so fiercely..
It will always hurt but I'll have a memory, shed tears, take some deep breaths and go about my day..
But right now, it still rips me to shreds, it messes with my heart and mind..
Right now, that no explanations have been given, my mistrust of others, doubting my self worth and place in this world, is worse than ever..
I'm not sure how this counsellor can help me with this..
It runs so deeply that I'm not sure anybody can reach it to help me start healing..
I'm selling my Demonia Torment 804 Boots. Desperate to get them to a good home as I never wear them. Head on over to my eBay. https://www.m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Demonia-Torment-804-Patent-Black-Boots-Size-6-/253160815313?nav=SEARCH #demonia#torment#boots#804#pvc#patent#black#goth