"I should be just like such a man if a mere burst of fair weather, and fresh grass after a long drought, and health after sickness, could make me friends again with this god-haunted, plague-breeding, decaying, tyrannous world. I have seen. I was no fool. I did not know then, as I do now, the strongest reason for distrust. The gods never send us this invitation to delight so readily or so strongly as when they are preparing some new agony. We are their bubbles; they blow us big before they prick us." ~Orual in "Til We Have Faces"
If I'm honest, I find my mind wanders dangerously close to Orual's devastatingly bitter perception of our world and our God. Especially when some are experiencing such highs in life; while others are riding through dark forests of twisted, sullen events. I become calloused. I turn inwardly, saying soothing, sweet words that I've created in my head to comfort me. These words never truly comfort me. I hide from God because I don't have the answers, and I don't want to bother with His reply to my pleas, because if He was truly good, then why did He allow such terror? However, amidst my own silent rebellion that is rarely detected, I feel this need. A need to cling to God beyond my understanding- beyond what I can conceive. I think what's so beautiful about faith is not necessarily a patient, dutiful, quiet obedience (which isn't bad) but rather quite a painful thing- to cling to God with every bit of futile strength I can muster. It's not really a pretty picture, this dependence of mine- at least not for appearance sake. It's up and down. I often act like a fool. One moment I speak in confidence and the next I'm at God's feet wondering what went wrong. But I suppose it's better than the bitterness. The absence. When I let go, and turn my back, I lose my sense of reality. I sink slowly into a vast expanse of free space where I can't grab hold of anything. It's when I run back, even when I'm furious at Him, that I find any sort of peace and realness. We're told all the reasons to distrust our God. It's broadcasted daily. I know I can think of many now. But will we listen?
Lelah hanyalah sementara, karya akan ada selamanya. Selamat berkarya, Lur 😎
Kontribusi dari: @azwar_muamar
Tag foto-fotomu yang diambil di sekitar wilayah Pleret, Dlingo, Imogiri, ke @pesonaimogiri dengan hashtag #pesonaimogiri ya, Lur, untuk kesempatan di repost. Ajak teman-temanmu jalan-jalan kesini ya 👍🏽
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” -Brené Brown in Braving the Wilderness
I don't think it's a coincidence that I listened to this book on my drive through the desert of West Texas. I'm learning more every day about how to be my most authentic self. It's scary and empowering to discover who you are and let yourself truly be seen. Also, I'm secretly hoping one day I'll bump into Brené and be able to hug her neck for her research and her writing! 🤣 🙌🏼
Thinking about these mountains always trips me out, like, I'm at this lake, which is on top of a mountain at 9,000 ft, but it's only at the base of these other mountains, which are even higher! (How does geology work???) 🤔
The perks of waking up at 6am. Quiet streets, the arrival of the sun, glowing leaves. Seriously, I think my new favorite thing to do is explore NYC in the early hours. It’s beautiful, introspective, and raw. This morning at 7am, Radio City and Times Square were empty and dark. A few stranglers headed to work walked the streets, but aside from that, there was peace. This was one of the rare times I’ve been able to actually enjoy walking through (normally tourist-heavy) Midtown.
•To go along with the first photo, this outfit focused on the environment so it was very simple to fit the area. I put the olive green top to contrast with the red CDG heart and the black and white stripes went along with checkered vans.
alam sudah memiliki ekosistem yang seimbang tanpa perlu campur tangan manusia. kera dan burung memakan buah-buahan dari pohon dan biji buahnya tersebar di dasar hutan menumbuhkan tunas tunas baru untuk sumber makanan dan tempat berteduh mahluk hidup lainnya #rinca#komodo#Indonesia
My first view of Kvalvika Beach in the Lofoten Islands as I was making my climb up Ryten. There was supposed to be approximately two hours where the sky wasn't completely overcast and I hoped to catch that window, but I found the top completely cloud-covered and extremely windy, so I was unable to get a shot from the very top.