"Whole" and Why the Concept is Ironic to Me
I guess I'm sub par.
Kisses under storm clouds covering stars
Sex in the backseat of nearly broken cars
with definitely broken stereos.
You see, I guess I'm like earphones
but one side doesn't work.
What the hell am I worth
when you can just have a whole?
Is that how you thought of my soul?
Something that works on both sides.
Is that how love works too?
I thought you'd make me stop listening to these sad tunes.
But you make listening to Fall Out Boy
b-sides feel like I'm beside myself.
I'm the half-read book on the shelf.
I am the "self" in your self-loathing.
But sweetheart, this is only
who I am
when I am without you.
Finish reading me.
I'm the kind of book that saves you.
Just know that I'm far from a holy bible. -------------------------------
Ever since we met, I know that we are special? That the way we talk and laugh around eachother is different than everybody else. That I will never meet anyone I can trust as much as I trust you. Also, I think most people search their whole lives to find what we've already found? I think there is a chance that, I kinda-sort of.... quite possibly- might be in love with you? Idk?
This past year has been a hell storm concerning boys. When I tell you I've had enough in 8 months to last me a few years 😩, but take notice how I said 'boys' not men. Now, I'm not gonna write a long list of the differences between men and boys being that it'll be hypocritical since I've been childish too. But with all these experiences I've had with boys thus far, I've realized that the lust, games, hurt, and carelessness that comes with dealing with boys affected me too negatively too often for me to continue. There's such an uncertainty with them, "Does he like me?" "Does he think I'm fat" "Is he gonna call?" "Does he think I'm a hoe if I 'chill' with him?" "Why won't he look at me in public like I don't exist, did he forget all that we did? Did he find someone better?". It's such torture I hate it more than homework and chores. Thank goodness for this summer break as I get to distance myself from an environment where all the boys are and I get to take a breather and analyze all my mistakes. Mistakes and solutions. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, so dealing with males just comes with my personal life package, but having better discernment, higher standards, and PATIENCE lordddd patienceee will save me alot of trouble. Of course I'm not a saint and will have a few hiccups because that's just what being a human is all about, but, back to you. If something doesn't sit right with you and fills you more with grief than joy, do you really need it? Is it catering more to your body, heart, or soul? Are you settling for something because you don't wanna hold out for something better? Think about it as I will too. 💋
TLDR; leave boys alone for the love of God 😩
Great relationships require a lot of challenging conversations. Our relationship is not always puppy dogs and ice cream... (I love both of those things!). Sometimes it's challenging, and often it's scary...because the relationship exists in the space of consistent vulnerability.
The thing I appreciate most about our love is that it challenges me to grow into it. It asks of me to be open, honest and to have boundaries. It invites my own individuality and creative expansion. It demands that I be me, so Ky can be her, and together we can create something which is separate from ourselves.
The greatest thing we can do for our lover is cultivate and develop our own sense of self. The rest seems to magically flow because we don't need them in order to love ourselves. We love ourselves first so that we may then love them freely.
Thanks for being such a creative partner in our growth babe. You invite me to be a better man. I choose to become it. Ever-expanding. #createthelove
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The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart. #touched
written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
artwork by @conradroset
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"people will say things. different things. things that color the smile on your face and things that compel you to fall to your knees in pain. these things will stay with you. embedded in your mind. always finding you at your weakest and ready to attack. it's how we let these words affect us that best describe our souls. how we cope with the cruelty of the world and how we choose to fight back against it. how we choose to speak up, not only for ourselves but for everyone that has been oppressed by the bullets people release from their mouths, but what these people don't know is that I'm bulletproof, we're bulletproof."
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If you want to learn about the power of love and power of determination at once, you got to learn about this lovely person called Larry Swiling.
Larry’s wife Jimmi Sue’s kidney had failed, and they were looking for a donor so that she can have a kidney transplant. After facing initial disappointment, Larry decided to take matters in his own hands.
Larry, at the age of 77, wore a sandwich advertising board that asked for a kidney for his wife and started walking on the streets of their hometown Anderson, South Carolina in USA. He approached complete strangers and asked them if they could donate one of their kidneys to his wife so that she can live.
"I had to do something," he said. "She looks after me, and I look after her."
People began noticing him and soon the media spotted him. His story was then aired on the news. Post that, thousands of people offered to donate their kidney to his wife, of which around 100 people went through the test to find the right match. Of those 100 they found one person with the perfect match – a 41-year-old retired USA Navy lieutenant commander named Kelly Weaverling.
"Have you ever just had a feeling that was just a strong gut feeling, that you just went with your instinct, because you just knew it was right?" Kelly asked. "That's exactly what happened. I could do something to give this family hope."
The surgery was successfully conducted and Larry’s persistent efforts and Kelly’s altruistic gesture gave a new life to Jimmi. Married for 57 years, the kind of love Larry and Jimmi share is something that we rarely find in today’s day and age.