an extract from one of the first pieces i have ever written. 05.16
Tough situations aren't meant to make you tougher,
they're meant to break down what was too extreme in your being to begin with.
Tough situations come with the question:
Which areas of your being need softening and which areas do you need more strength?
Let's get practical:
Example: two people can go through the exact same situation, yet each need to learn and integrate two very seperate lessons.
Instance: a breakup
One person may need to learn to have stronger boundaries, not give everything to everyone all the time, say "no" more often, and put themselves first.
The other person may need to learn to have softer demands and expectations, not take or ask for too much, become more considerate and think about others as much as they think about themselves.
Another example: a boss and an employee have a fight...
Perhaps one person needs to learn to be more assertive and ask clearly for what they want.
The other person needs to learn to listen better and consider what the other person needs and how to provide that.
Tough situations are not intended to make all parts of every person tougher.
Example of how not to go for contrast:
Breakup- both people learn to be more closed off, selfish, avoidant, and not ever allow themselves to love again.
Boss & employee fight- both people learn to never ask for what they want, instead demand it aggressively and or quit or fire someone and walk away.
Tough situations are opportunities for growing into greater versions of ourselves.
The situation is not the problem.
The problem existed before the situation ever manifested.
And now the tough situation is a moment where you can heal the original issue and become better.
If it leads you to awakening: good
If it leads you to compassion: good
If it leads you to forgiveness: good
If it leads you to understanding: good
If it leads you to empathy: good
If it leads you to wisdom: good
If it leads you to gratitude: good
It is good.
Even if what led you there was really bad.
Don't let your trauma, pain, fight, abuse, breakup, or betrayal lead you to carrying hatred with yourself and others.
Use it to grow, unbecome and become.
I am so excited to share with you all that I have been nominated as a potential candidate for @untwine.me as a #top100#inspiringinstagrammer I need YOUR help, and so many others like me need support too. This has nothing to do with notoriety, or gaining followers. I follow inspiring people and motivational content writers. I'm a #grievingmother at two years bereaved. I was in a car accident that killed my son and my nephew. Currently, we are so far away from an even remote benchmark for #ptsd or what I've reclaimed that label, #atraumasurvived There are so many people who are losing the battle of surviving. There are so many people who feel scared and alone. My laser focus has become finding the bereaved mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends. I'm befriending those whose lives are controlled, and limited due to trauma. I've already met so many. My vision for recovery is beginning to take shape. The support is not there. So, I'm lending my voice. Please consider going to this page and nominating my page. I want to flood their page with @kellikylebeautymark to create awareness...to start the conversation. I can't do this without you! I eagerly welcome my followers to share this page. With utmost gratitude, Kelli #beauty#beautymark#untwineme#top100#inspiringinstagrammers#ptsd#anxiety#depression#emotionalsupport#motivation#trauma#traumasurvivor#supportmentalhealth#ahundredlifetimes#writersofinstagram#writerscommunity#writer#writersnetwork
“Are you creating more than you’re scrolling?” •
My husband asked me this question the other night because he knows. I’ve been scrolling too much and creating too little and my spirit is paying for it. Creativity is good for my soul and I’ve loved social media for its ability to fuel my creative side. If I’m just scrolling, I’m losing all of my reasons to be on social media in the first place and letting it eat up time that could be spent fueling things I love. •
SO, I’m left with two options: 1) Cut of all social media altogether (and lose the benefits of it) OR 2) Find a new discipline that forces me to create as much as I scroll (and end up more fulfilled because of it.) •
I choose the latter. I challenge you with the same. And you are more than welcome to ask me the question above. •