I'm so scared tonight.I feel like I've been lowly sliding back .. Back to those feelings and those thoughts. And I'm so inwardly terrified . I did so much hard work . It took so much strength And I'm afraid I won't be able to do it again... It's like watching a thunderstorm roll in._the dark clouds in the distance . Ominous, blocking out the light slowly as it moves in. Then the rain little drops at first like the symptoms- the memory loss the vague detachment , dissociation ,isolation emptiness . It's familiar and you look out knowing what to expect next, as it covers you in darkness. I don't mind the rain but the thunder ... Loud loud loud like a silent scream . .
I sit in the place I feel closest to you,
By the river where we used to come swimming in summer, we used to dangle our feet over the jetty and laugh up at the sky with the warm summer sun kissing the surface of our skins leaving freckled reminders of adventures over coastlines and afternoon swims. If I close me eyes sometimes I think I hear your voice , in the birds calling from the trees , the water lapping the shoreline or the combined laughter of kids playing in the park. .
Sometimes post-meeting binge writing session looks like this. A It's clear summer is coming to a close, I'm the only one left in the park to hear the crickets and birds sing their lullabies. It feel good to put thoughts into a word document and close the computer. The air is light and my soul is grateful for this little bit of solitude.
Nothing in the world is more important than sanity but sanity is not something to be chased.- Often times when they push you away the most is when you must be present the most. You cannot control someone but you can control how you respond.
For my loved ones; I am with you, nothing can change that.
I've decided the next 12 days before the rigorous school schedules, gymnastics schedules, conference schedules, paper writing, global work, trampoline classes for Hayden begin and teaching, I must do some necessary self care. Focusing my energy on healthy eating, healthy conversations, and building this spiritual temple is critical. Releasing toxic energy, trading it in for a healthy lifestyle is a commitment that requires me to literally slow down. I believe 2017 will finish strong because I know God is able! Join me and share some of the ways you promote a healthy lifestyle and shut out the noise in your life. #writetoheal#writetoinspire#healthylifestyle#balancedliving#spiritualmaintenance
I am simply amazed to watch the writers here come together for #poetryheals2017 . Reading your stories and seeing the support and hope you ignite... wow. Thank you for being vulnerable and using your voice to bring light and support to those around you.
Now for the second prompt:
Take some time to reflect and choose a metaphor for your mind. Then build a piece from it. It can be anything, just an object that you feel embodies you. Introspection is a powerful tool in understanding yourself and separating who you are from the baggage you carry. Your struggles don't define you.
Ps. If you're new to the challenge and haven't created a piece for why you "stay" yet, look back to my last few posts and write to unite with us as we raise awareness leading up to world suicide prevention day on September 10th🖤
Who said you had to be an achiever, dream big and aspire to go down in history in order to feel like your life was worth something? You know I'm all for big dreams, but I simply can't stand it when I see people pushing the idea that if you aren't dreaming big then you must secretly be unhappy. I've shared this and some of my other thoughts on the subject up on the blog today. Click the link in my bio to read today's blog post, You Don't Have To Dream Big To Be Happy! #lifeoffthereel#ontheblog#newblogpost
The way my heart has been tugged at these past couple weeks, let's me know something is happening. If I continue to push through, God will see me through. You might be experiencing an overwhelming amount of fear, anxiety , grief and confusion between the world, your own life or things happening with a loved one. Trust God and know that this too shall pass. #writetoheal#writetoinspire#travelmom#spiritualmaintenance #
Late Night Journal - on becoming the best version of yourself. We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all feel lost at some point or another. Discovering yourself only comes from acknowledging your experiences. Sometimes experiencing certain emotions can overwhelm us and we make mistakes, myself included. Find your way of remaining calm or distracting yourself during these moments. You cannot control all situations in life, but you can control how you react to them. Easier said than done, but we're all human right? The only person you ever need to compare yourself to is the one in the mirror. Don't better yourself to be more like someone else or to please anyone, become the best version of yourself for yourself. Feeling lost is okay, its the only way to truly find yourself