Watching the news last night, Gigi and I discussed the sadness and the fear and the worry that these attacks could happen anywhere, to anyone. And the cycle of fear and war that this is all part of. It puts my problems into perspective, for a time anyway.
This summer I spent a beautiful few days in Barcelona. It was the first place I really explored my photography skills. It's devastating to see a city so full of life and culture, and beauty, be reduced to a terrorist headline and a death toll. I don't really have much else to say, except that my heart is always broken by every attack, every bombing, every bigoted comment, every declaration of war, and every complicit silence.
Okay. So I may or may not have watched the leaked GoT. And it may or may not have got my traveling spirit up in arms again. At this point I'd settle for a little trip into the Yorkshire countryside. Who knew being stuck in the house could make you feel this way? 🙄😬☺️🏡🌍
Last week this magical box arrived at my door, out of the blue. Prior to this, I'd gotten myself into an infuriating argument about feminism, and had also just finished a very wobbly call about my future work, and I was also feeling some pretty major broken ankle pain. So, this then lands on my bed: a vegan-friendly box full of treats and goodness; a reminder that people are thinking of me and that I will be okay.
It's the little things, and the big things, the compassionate things. It's good timing and it's just, I don't know, it's when people you love remind you that they love you too. It's important. 🌿❤️#mygoodnessbox#thegoodnessproject
When you're on a night out with your uni babes, seven years after you first met as cute first years, and you realise that you're all smokin' now, and that you are not at your 'best' at uni. You are at your best all of the time. In our twenties we are great, in our thirties we will be great. Time is weird and scary, but it's a tiny bit awesome to look back so long ago, too, and see where we are now. #soppy#shutup
When ya girl gets up at 5am and travels all the way from London for the day to lay in bed with you eating snacks and making fun at your dead rhythm gymnastic dreams. She did buy me avocados though. 🥑❤️👭
Good morning everybody ☀️I'm a little tired of posting pictures from my bed! And I have so many beautiful pictures from last weekend and my travels that I can't leave to be unseen forever! I slept pretty damn well last night, on and off until 8am this time, yay! My ankle is punishing me from being out of bed so much yesterday so today is for real a rest day, but I'm okay with that. But if anybody wants to come and lay in bed and stroke my hair whilst I doze and play games, that would be stellar. 🌸🌼🌺 (p.s. this is the cute plant shop I found near Georgie's house last weekend and I wanted to buy ALL THE FLOWERS!)
"Go for a leisurely hangover climb, there's no way you'll end up falling and completely snapping your ankle" ~ and then say everything is fine and get carried home for takeout and the new leaked GoT, before realising that the agony is not going away and I should prooooobably go to hospital. But you know what, despite the fact I can't sleep and I'm having surgery tomorrow, and healing is gonna be a nightmare, I can say nothing bad about the experience I'm having here at Leeds General Infirmary - I was seen straight away, I've been looked after so damn well and the staff here have gone above and beyond to ensure that I'm as comfortable as possible. I have my own room, I've stolen a nurse's iPhone wire, and I feel so much gratitude for these people who are overworked and underpaid and still make sure a silly bad climber is as happy as she can possibly be. I am beyond impressed and am overwhelmed. Being in hospital is a very triggering thing for me, after my hellish experience last year, but I can safely say I feel okay. And that's solely due to the caring and amazing staff here.
I'm taking a break!
So it may or may not have been obvious that my posts have been lacking energy and personality, that I haven't blogged in a while, haven't continued uploading videos on YouTube. This is partly because I'm a bit shit, and partly because I'm just not into this right now. I feel tired and lost as a person, with no idea what I'm doing and not much energy or care for things. I've been trying for a long while to be positive and I'm just not feeling it. I might be back in a week, or a month, or longer. Or shorter. I don't know. I just feel like I need to do something different so I can begin working towards feeling as happy as I was when I took this photograph. I want to be able to bring substance to my posts, to bring personality, to help people, to talk about important things, inspiring things, interesting things. I don't believe I can do that until things change a little.
Lots of love ❤️✌️🌿☀️
Game of Thrones Mondays have me missing last month's adventures. And part of me is wishing I was back, back to a month ago. With less complications and more irresponsibility. More sun, and less uncertainty. But part of me is, frankly, a bit sick of being surprised by change. It's ready to embrace newness and accept change as a normal part of life, rather than a 'right' or 'wrong' thing. (Still, it would be nice to pack a bag and escape for a while). ☀️🌊🏕