Excuse me, some assistance please, my blanket needs a little adjusting and try not to focus on the hair, we're outside and maybe the hair will blow off. It's like the leaves that are falling from the tree, do you rake them every day or wait for the wind to blow them away. The Warden likes to rake the leaves every day that's why I worry about my blanket, holding the blanket up in the wind doesn't remove the hair, maybe if the leaves keep falling it'll distract her from my hairy blanket.
I'm shaking things up this Monday, gonna start this week off with a new attitude. If you wanna do a little shimmy then let loose (as long as Shimmy Shaking Mama abides by all restrictions), if you're inclined to nap then snooze away. It's your day, your choice, you choose, what will be will be.
The service has been great, just had my filtered water refreshed with ice, my blanket is laid out under the shade tree and the sun is shining. Eventually I'll meander into the sun, cop a few rays (aka nap in sun), sniff around for something roll worthy and then back to my blanket in the shade. Even though it's a strenuous schedule it's important to be vigilant, just in case someone walks by.
The end is coming near for this wilderness jungle, The Warden is setting her sights on chopping it all down. She's also filling in holes along the bottom of the fence with whatever's handy, I see there's the end of a broom, it's definitely a cry for help.
The lawn is a great place to roll with some wonderful smells, so here's The Warden pulling weeds out with no gloves on, I call this free style'n. I personally have no problem with this, actually I would request that she rub her hands all over me, I bet they smell real nice. Imagine one day she's picking up rabbit evidence with poop bags and the next day pulling weeds out with no gloves on, go figure.
Throwback to when I was trapped inside the little ugly fence. Not a lot of manoeuvre room but I can tell that this area has been violated by critters, there's a hint of bunny in the air, possibly a rogue chipmunk. I'm on the scene now and have secured the area, any perpetrators will be subjected to barking and a chase, beware.
If anyone asks you didn't see anything, not a thing. I've gotten a bit of a reputation for roughing up the gardens, not true, look at how gently I step around the plants, it's almost like I'm floating. There's also a biscuit buried under the last plant I checked, all's good.
No one was in danger at any time during this nap, The Warden might of teetered a tad but overall she maintained her balance and didn't interrupt me. I eventually had to stretch and rotate so she gained a little more leg room, also as a special note the moccasins make a nice headrest and are drool absorbent. We worked it out, it's all about a little give and take.
I have absolutely no intention of getting up, so slowly back away and I'll forget about this little intrusion. Well, there may be one thing that might inspire me to move, you know that block of cheese in the fridge, the one that's been calling my name, well be a good girl and go open that package, then you'll see what a true athlete is.
All clear, nothing to report, The Warden had a bit of a meltdown, there's evidence of an intruder in the backyard (rabbit droppings). I'll do a perimeter check while she confiscates the evidence (using poop bag). Well it's back to the surveillance room while she tries to figure out how we were infiltrated. I'll meander around the yard, catch a few rays while she tries to pull it together.
I met my friend Caboose on our walk, he's my height, short curly hair, small paws, tiny ears and about forty pounds lighter. I was bobbing and weaving ready to play, he ignored me, I did an impressive slobber shake, he wasn't impressed, the only thing left to do was put my nose to the ground and sniff, we finally found some common ground.
There was an incident with the laundry, the bed cover shrunk, which The Warden is indirectly attributing to me. I thought the cover was perfect the way it was, smelled nice, so what's a couple of hairs and a little dirt. It's an easy fix, all we gotta do is stretch it out, I'll yank on one end and The Warden on the other end, it's like a tug of war, keep pulling until it's back in shape. All this really proves is that doing excessive laundry can be hazardous, learn to adapt to your environment.
I just finished a little thing I call 'throw dancing', first you yank the throw to the floor, do a little four step around the room, all this to the accompaniment of some barking. Now to spice things up grab a biscuit, toss it on the throw and there you have the 'biscuit dance'. I must say it's a crowd pleaser, maybe you can't please everyone all the time, but don't let that dampen your spirit, I say dance on till you can't dance anymore.
The big news of the neighbourhood is I had a bath, The Warden likes to announce this tidbit to everyone, except no one really cares. I am no longer sniffable, no one takes an interest in some nice light flowery fragrance, it's boring. It may take a few days before I become memorable again, just imagine one of those smells that enter a room before you do, that's what I'm aspiring to.
I have asked that an arrest warrant be issued against The Warden and her accomplice (dad). Both are considered armed and dangerous, may be in possession of bath paraphernalia, for your own safety do not approach. I was taken against my will, put in the tub and tortured with smelly shampoo. With the help of a dead worm and a few good rolls I'm expecting a full recovery, in time. If you would like to help in my recovery please send a cheese and deli basket, express mail.
Big plans today, eventually, just working out a few details, because it's such a busy schedule I'm going to have to ease into the morning. I'll start the morning with a few stretches, maybe stand up and rotate, maybe. If you hear me snoring well that's just me grinding out some ideas, all this planning is time consuming and exhausting. I'd say by mid morning the plans will all come together and be ready for execution.
It won't be long before the chopping and hacking starts, I mean cutting and trimming of the plants begins, all this in preparation for the end of the season, The Warden has been selecting and sharpening her weapons. I'm just going to enjoy this jungle until this becomes a barren wasteland, once everything is cut down I'll be completely exposed to all the surveillance cameras and prying eyes.
I met our new neighbour, a nice lady with a knee length dress and high heels (from my view), she came running over for a greeting. A special note when meeting a Basset, plant your feet firmly on the ground and lean slightly forward, this helps prevent you from falling over when someone jumps up in their excitement. The nice lady didn't completely fall over, she teetered just enough for The Warden to apologize several times and say she's heavier than she looks.