We took family portraits exactly 3 years ago today, one week before his open heart surgery. I remember thinking we need to take family portraits in case he doesn't make it. He was so tiny. He didn't even weigh the necessary 8 pounds yet, but we kept filling his g-tube as much as we could believing in faith that he would make it to 8 pounds and give him the best fighting chance to survive the surgery. Looking at the photos from that day bring up so many emotions, I want to all at once throw up and shout for joy because of what we've walked through and because we walked through to the other side #heartwarrior#elienhancesmylife
This picture was taken last November for our Christmas card photos. I had cried so much the day before - like sobbing uncontrollably all day long like I never had before - that I don't even think this looks like me. My face was so swollen, but we had already canceled on my friend John, the photographer a week earlier because one of my kids was in the hospital. I've been thinking a lot lately about social media and honesty. I hear so many people talk about how so many women are fake on social media and how they needed to stop following a certain account because it was making them feel bad about themselves whether it be their house or their wardrobe or their kids or body or pretty much anything. I totally support my friends that choose to do that and I 100% agree that a lot of people only post their highlight reel on social media, however I'm not sure if I agree that it's fake.
After I had Eli I started posting more on social media mainly because I want to tear down the preconceived ideas our culture has about Down syndrome. I want people to see how much joy he truly brings to my life. I want the world to know that we are not suffering because of his extra chromosome.
After a while though, I started to fear that maybe I wasn't being authentic. Not because I wasn't being truthful, but because I wasn't posting the bad along with the good in my life. If you are close with me outside of social media you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that I'm very open to share all of the hard stuff in my life, just not on social media. Obviously I shared some of the hard - like a broken pelvis, but not the deep devastation. The last 3 years of my life have been filled with so much sorrow and pain, but also with so much light and joy in the midst of all the darkness. If I only focused on the darkness it would swallow me. God gave me a vision of a very long valley with these tiny little hills dispersed throughout the valley. They were everywhere but unfortunately I couldn't see an end to the valley. I felt like He was saying "yes, you are in the valley, not only am I here with you, but I'm giving you many mountain top experiences within the valley." Continued in comments
So it looks like I get to go home today as soon as my walker arrives 🙌🏽 please pray for my pain, it is excruciating to move around but I'd much rather be home and in pain than be in the hospital and in pain🏥🔜🏡
I took this the morning of the accident. I miss him so much my heart hurts almost as much as the rest of my body. He's too young to come visit me, but I'm trying to think of ways that Eric can smuggle him in past security :) Today has been really hard, my pain has been unbearable and I don't think I can come home as soon as I was hoping. Please pray that I will heal quickly and that my pain will be tolerable enough to come home soon ❤️ #elienhancesmylife
Not exactly the way I planned on spending the last few days, but I'm so thankful for the outpouring of love and support we have received. For those of you that haven't heard, I was in an accident on Thursday. Our car started rolling away while Eli was still buckled in. I ran to try to get in to stop it but ended up being crushed between 2 cars, then I fell and my back tire ran over my feet. I have several pelvic fractures and I had surgery on Friday night. Needless to say I'm pretty bruised up and I'll be in the hospital for a couple more days. Eli is fine by the way 🙌🏽 I took several steps with a walker today and I'm getting closer to being able to go home. Please pray that Eric will be able to juggle all 4 kids and a job and littlest warrior while I'm out of commission.