Best 9 eyy. This year I graduated with a 1st which is good, though it felt empty If I'm honest, the rest of the year I have no problem leaving behind lol. It dawned on me a few days ago everything i made this year was made for the prime objective of getting a job not enjoyment or "passion" and since I have no job it failed on 2 fronts. I've learnt a lot, my compound shapes have improved greatly which was a eureka moment but I don't have any renders of my improvement because I lost the will to bother 😂 so you'll have to take my word for it.
Last year I finished the ship for me, that was a personal project because I wanted to make a ship and even tho i moved on prematurely, it brought me genuine happiness and pride even in it's unfinished state. Nothing this year has done that, the clock is "good" by others judgements, it's a representation of what the industry wants but not what I want. It was made for extrinsic purposes i.e a job, not my happiness or desire to create cool shit so I don't actually care about most of the work from this year. I can either lose my mind industry pleasing or I can keep myself happy.... Ironically my dad warned me this would happen and like Anakin I can see myself going to the dark side.
In an effort to stop myself falling down that hole, I'm in the process of re-aligning my efforts towards what I want and what I think will take me to the future I have in mind that lies WAY beyond industry jobs (it has to that R8 isn't gonna pay for itself 😂). Having a hammer work ethic is useless if it misses the nail, building old mansions definitely isn't my direction. I like sci fi too much and that isn't changing any century soon 😂. I have a personal project I put off this year to get a job, that I will now give some attention, I was offered a rare opportunity but this year I lowered it's priority as I wanted a stable job first but think I may give it my full attention from the get go. Risky as the returns won't be evident to onlookers for a while but I don't intend to feel like this again regardless of what it looks like externally 😂. As they say never forget why you started. If you read the whole of this you're insane 😂.