You never know what depression, anxiety, addiction, failure, discontent, anger, jealousy, Unforgiveness, resentment and many more weaknesses looks like........... Evey year of my life I have experienced patterns or cycles of behaviors that I'm not proud of, nor speak of to many people often.. But here in this reality, I had to face my demons or be consumed by them,
Over the years I had to face the consequences of my actions, being both good and bad, but the bad had surly outweighed the good.. a train wreck was I, on the verge of ruining everything in life because of stupid selfish decisions I was making.. we all have our vices... And not many knew the behind the scenes.. I once heard, " we are only as sick as are secrets " and I was the walking dead.... until.. Several moths ago I hit an all time low, and I had to drop everything to examine my life, where I was going, who I was being, what had my attention?
I had some how managed to get my life on a track of balance, but to stay there was my aim and a difficult road it has been... I was afraid to continue pursuing my dreams and ambitions, because if I failed, what a loser was I. But determined non the less and new perspective and focus on my priorities!
I was also afraid to fall into the same traps that I used to fall into, Because of repetition, I was use to the conformity and patterns that I used, I didn't want to be told I was wrong or that I had to change. I was afraid I would never reach any of my goals as a husband, father, son, lover, friend, believer, or human being in general.... And now I stand to tell you that I have yet to reach my goals in any of these areas, nor am I standing to tell you how to get there, I'm not here to Write a book, or give you 5 Quick steps for a better life... But One thing is for sure, I'm not who I used to be. I have changed so much, I am one step closer to who I want to be.
I am a dealer in Grace
I am a servant at Heart
I am a shoulder for all to lean on!! Jesus Christ is king of kings and Lord of Lords