Today is world mental health day , a day when awareness is brought to the fore about the internal suffering people go through in their daily lives. Sometimes with a good out come but more often than not its bad.
I myself can honestly say I was on the edge of darkness about 2.5 years ago. I knew I was going through worsening post natal depression coupled with having to leave a job to mind a newly diagnosed child and a move that didnt flourish as quickly as we'd hoped. I found myself getting counselling and working through issues and still getting worse. I was like a knife edge to live with. Crying, anger, helpless , sadness, clouds everywhere. One day in a counselling session I spent the whole 45minutes with my face cupped in my hands crying harder than I'd ever cried before. The counsellor asked some key questions about thoughts of suicide and I told her I'd had them but couldn't follow through. She advised going to the doctor for support that day.I was prescribed medication 2.5 years ago and to this day I still take it. Some days and weeks I'm absolutely fantastic but others I just struggle and then the cycle of adding more onto the plate and neglecting myself starts again. I fight hard behind a happy mask every day. But every day I fight for myself knowing if I'm not working then everything around me isn't working either.
Talking helps but seek professional help cos for me speaking to who I thought were friends about it (bar some) resulted in carpet and it being swept under.